Ave Maria Syndicate Members,
Tomorrow we’ll meet the new pope. Hence, I’m in a hurry to convey the next set of lines. This bookie can’t even wait for Uncle Sam to finish off the 51st State (The Puerto Ricans). Tomorrow the sun shall rise, and we’ll all greet the new Wop Pope. The only remaining bit of betting intrigue is whether we’ll greet Urban the IX, Innocent the XIV, Clement the XV, Paul the VII, or Alexander the IX.
Exciting stuff. Even if the religion happens to be
antiquated, one has to respect the ridiculously anachronistic tradition behind
it all. How long have you been alive? Fifty years tops. How long had this
churchbeen around? Over 2,000 years. Have some respect for your ancestors, no
matter how naïve they might have been.
We’ll get to the baseball lines shortly. First, a few more quips about the Catholic Church. To begin with, Being “Pope-less” can really suck. When God calls, no one is answering the phone ? Secondly, a “head-coaching change” at the Vatican isn’t much to be concerned about. The 266th successor of St. Peter has to carry the burden of the team captain. Jesus of Nazareth has been on injured reserve since he suffered those five wounds nearly twenty centuries ago. We’ve been waiting for him to come back.
We’ve been waiting since the Synoptic Gospels. In three of
the four gospels, our most-esteemed team captain promised he would be back in
less than a generation. In the Gospel of John, the writers took great care to
assure us that Jesus never said anything of the sort. In subsequent books, such
as “Peter”, the promised apocalypse was postponed for as many as a thousand
years. In books, such as the revised “Revelations”, that were written even
later, the Second Coming was postponed indefinitely.
One cannot blame “Head Coach Benedict XVI”. It wasn’t his
fault that the Team Captain decided not to show up for the 20th
consecutive century. A deep man attempted to write a few convoluted sonnets on
love and understanding. Reluctantly, he accepted the position of Pontiff. He
only wished to do “God’s Work”. Little did he know that God wasn’t available
for comment. He turned out to be asleep….for all eternity.
Keep watching tomorrow, mates. Watch for the White Smoke.
My Updated Stats:
Spread: 10-20-2
Straight up: 18-12-2
Nothing much to say….other than the fact that Jesus isn’t
coming back. It’s not happening. I’ll give you 1,000 to 1 odds….and pay you.
Italy vs. Puerto Rico
(Alex Maestreti vs. J.C. Romero)
The biggest mistake the Puerto Ricans can make is starting
J.C. Romero. Even if they don’t send him to the mound, we’re still looking at a
pick at best. As it stands, I’m prepared to give the Wops a one run spread.
THE
LINE: ITALY +1 Run
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
