Morning/Evening/Afternoon Syndicate Members,
Whatever Time zone you’re in, I do believe we can all agree:
THAT’S MORE LIKE IT, GIRLS! Way to ignite, ladies. This tournament is really
heating up. If you’re still struggling to catch up, you’ve missed an electrifying
second 45 from the Wops and Danes, A five-goal Swedish Shellacking with braces
from both Schelin and Fischer, and a gripping chess match between the Dutch and
Norwegians.
Along the way, Sylvia Neid’s baby-faced assassins matured into women. The young German tyros, deputized after five veteran injuries, really stepped it up to turn in a magnificent performance against the Ice Queens. Celia Okoyino da Mbabi is….Good God…she’s one of the most talented footballers I’ve ever seen! We could use her on the Male Mannschaft ; )
Along the way, Sylvia Neid’s baby-faced assassins matured into women. The young German tyros, deputized after five veteran injuries, really stepped it up to turn in a magnificent performance against the Ice Queens. Celia Okoyino da Mbabi is….Good God…she’s one of the most talented footballers I’ve ever seen! We could use her on the Male Mannschaft ; )
Great late pressure from St. George, who provided us with
the storybook finish. Another fine match provided by “La Roja Bella” and “Pussy
Riot”. This bookie remained captivated throughout.
Cynics will continue to aver that nothing can top those
top-class matches we just witnessed in the Confederations Cup. I counter that
these girls are well on their way. They’ll facilitate something even more
memorable. Overall I’m highly impressed, thoroughly entertained, and fully
content. Man am I enjoying this tournament! I sincerely hope you are too.
Give these gorgeous girls some of your time. You’ll get hooked before you know it. You’ll find yourself eagerly anticipating the slate of matches. Your friendly bookie even wakes up every morning in a good mood. That’s unheard of!
Give these gorgeous girls some of your time. You’ll get hooked before you know it. You’ll find yourself eagerly anticipating the slate of matches. Your friendly bookie even wakes up every morning in a good mood. That’s unheard of!
They’ve bewitched me…and I always expected they would. Let’s
delve deeper into the events of the past three days with the rankings:
“Vicey Places Women on a Pedestal”
(whilst simultaneously ranking all twelve countries)
1) Sweden (Previously #6)
Bam. How could I have ever doubted Pia? Shake it into high gear! The hosts are up and running. Nothing even remotely negative to report from that 5-0 thrashing of Finland. Sundhage silenced this critic by sticking with her 4-4-2 and only making one defensive change on the right flank.
She went back to basics on the training pitch, cultivating confidence through hard work on set pieces. It paid off immediately. Fischer and Hammarström showcased impeccable timing on that 15th minute opener. They clearly invested some time in practicing their corners. Asllani looked great on deliveries as well. What a phenomenal cross from Jakobssen in the 38th! They did everything right. Asllani got to open her account and everyone was involved.
The second half proved even better. Once the Blaugults
loosened up and began having fun, we were treated to some really sublime
football. Schelin and Asllani sliced and diced their way all over the pitch. It
was very easy on the eyes : ) They’ve got it all now: confidence, form, and a
plan. Congratulations on reclaiming your status as favorites, Scandis. Bravo,
bravo.
2) France (Previously #1)
Rather precipitous drop in form for the “Femme Fatales”. One expected more with Louisa Necib back in the starting lineup and Camile Abily back at her natural right-wing position. Still, Wendy Renard’s little flick in reminded us how dangerous the “Gauloises Gals” can be when they’re in the mood.
“French Women in the Mood”. Excuse me while I write that down. That’s a $200 script right there.
Renard’s goal came on the end of a Louisa Necib service.
With her back in full form, it’s doubtful ze French will have to settle for
anything less than the final itself. Thiney and Delie combined for a bit of
magic. Elodie Thomas and Eugenie Le Sommer demonstrated the proper amount of
hunger as substitutes.
A second consecutive victory means that the Froggies are the only nation to already officially secure passage to the quarterfinals. They’ll go deeper still. Bini’s bunch still has plenty of time to iron out the kinks. A France vs. Germany Semifinals match looms.
A second consecutive victory means that the Froggies are the only nation to already officially secure passage to the quarterfinals. They’ll go deeper still. Bini’s bunch still has plenty of time to iron out the kinks. A France vs. Germany Semifinals match looms.
3) Deutschland (Previously #11)
That’s how it’s done, Mädels. What a truly impressive match from start to finish. Though my trepidation hasn’t completely ebbed, I’m confident enough to declare that these greenhorns have certainly answered the call and risen to the standards of the DFB.
I, like many others, found myself scratching my head upon learning that Sylvia Neid’s solitary change was to start Leupholz in place of Mittag.
From FEM 2013—Round Two
“Trainer
Sylvia Neid surprisingly showed zero initiative with her substitutions. How can
one only use two of them when confronted with a deadlocked stalemate? Laudehr
for Keßler at the restart wasn’t a bad idea at all, but why did she stand pat
for the entire second half? One kept waiting for her to throw in Bajramaj,
Behringer, or Huth. What did she have to lose? Someone had to inject some pace!
All we got was Leupholz for Lotzen in the 73rd. LEUPHOLZ?”
In spite of her rather weak crossing, the 19-year-old
actually did quite well. This, of course, was nothing compared to 19-year-old
Lena Lotzen’s virtuosity. Wow! She might have scored twice before her 24th
minute opener. Only the stellar keeping of Gunnarsdottir precluded an early Hat
Trick. We also witnessed an almost flawless performance from 21-year-old
Dzensifer Marozsan and 19-year-old Leonne Maier. Even Jennifer Cramer turned in
a focused and disciplined performance.
Such is the German way. Ever notice how we always invariably
have the youngest team in every tournament? We groom them from a young age and
throw them in the water to make them swim. In this particular instance, the
five critical injuries forced Neid to challenge some newcomers that were young
even by German standards. They call us a “team in transition”. I'll aver that we're
just doing what we do best: throwing kids off a cliff and watching them fly.
It wasn’t easy growing up with German Standards.
Nevertheless, I remain proud of the manner in which I was taught to throw
people in the water. Nothing I enjoy more than throwing people a challenge and
watching them gain confidence as they produce against all odds. Nothing like
laying it down and watching them grow. Perhaps I should strive to be a real
professor after all….or maybe I’ll just watch the next match. ;)
Celia Okoyino da Mbabi is simply breathtaking. Her moves,
turns, and tricks are the best I’ve ever seen from a female footballer. She
appears to be in sync with Maroszan and Lotzen. These three are working on an
unstoppable partnership. Bajramaj, Laudhehr, and Mittag were also spellbinding
in relief. Looks as if Neid’s faith in her youngsters has been more than
rewarded. Too early to re-administer the “favorites” mantle, but a victory against
Norway should just about do it.
4) Norway (Previously #5)
Solveig Gulbrandsen is back from maternity leave alright. After spending three years at home with her baby, she elected to get back into football and an entire nation is grateful. I’m grateful too ; ). Her laser of a goal was easily the tournament’s best.
Hegerberg, Hegland, and Hansen continue to put on a clinic
with their fabulous footwork. Ronning and Isaksen are finding their form.
Hjelmseth ROCKS between the pipes. Yes, I’m very afraid. I fear for my Mädels.
I honestly don’t know if they can best the Norwegian menace.
5) Spain (Previously #2)
It’s okay senoritas. You’re still in the thick of it. Return to that fucked-up looking 4-2-2-1-1 and you’ll be fine.
6) Italy (Previously #10)
They would be ranked higher, if D’Adda and Salvai didn’t make me so nervous at the back. The Danes did well to expose the Azzurris vulnerability and the Swedes will do even better to study and exploit it. The Italian attack can only be described as “brutish”. Panico, Ianella, Stracci, Tuttino, and Gabbiadini advance inelegantly.
It’s ironic as all hell that the country of love and romance sports an offensive mentality buttressed upon pure brute force. They win ugly. For the most part, they even are ugly. Both goals in the Danish match came courtesy of flukish bounces/deflections.
Good news, Wop enthusiasts! I’m not sold. I’ve even managed
to talk myself into a higher line for the Sweden match. Get those bets in!
7) Denmark (Previously #4)
Now THIS is an unequivocal tragedy. They played their hearts out against the Wops, maintaining better possession and generating far more quality opportunities. Such things happen when one can’t finish. Harkening back to my favorite double-entendre, your friendly bookie finds it inherently frustrating when women can’t finish : )
Johanna Rasmussen serves as an awesome midfield “flight
director”. Watching her loop precise arcs right onto the boots of Sophie
Pedersen and Emile Harder was eminently enjoyable. I also loved the hustle of
Katherine Pedersen and Nadia Nadim along with the innovative movement of
Gajhede Knudsen and Line Hansen. Were it not for the superb goalkeeping of
Chiara Marchitelli we’d be discussing the Danish Dames prospects in the
quarterfinals. Instead, they’ll be fighting for their lives against the Finns.
Their destiny remains out of their hands. It will prove
difficult to catch most of their match, given that Sweden and Italy will kick
off concurrently. What a shame. Very much want to see this team again. The
pesky peninsualars have soul ; )
8) Netherlands (Previously #7)
I’m growing more entranced with Lieke Martins every waking minute. She’s fantastic off the volley, shows great awareness on the flanks, and makes courageous runs into the box. In addition….she has a very nice chest and a great ass ;)
Among her unique talents is the ability to chest-down long crosses in spite of her pronounced rack. ;)
One feels no small amount of sympathy for the Dutch as they
show legitimate potential in possession. Renee Slegers and Kirsten van de Van
are simply trying to do too much. They can dance. They can turn slick tricks.
They’d do much better to offload a few more passes to Manon Melis and Sherida
Spitse.
Plenty of grounds for cautious optimism as they head into
the showdown with the “Ice Daughters”. Danielle van de Donk’s dip in form
doesn’t appear too much to be concerned about. Roger Reijners has plenty of
quality options off the bench.
Siri Worm and Anouk Dekker look solid enough. Worst case scenario he can tap Verteegt for the start. She nearly pulled off something marvelous in the 89th minute with a sweet turn-shot worthy of Mbabi’s flair. Loved what I saw from Bito, Koster, Hoogendijk, and can den Heilegeberg. They should prevail against the “Ice Daughters”
Siri Worm and Anouk Dekker look solid enough. Worst case scenario he can tap Verteegt for the start. She nearly pulled off something marvelous in the 89th minute with a sweet turn-shot worthy of Mbabi’s flair. Loved what I saw from Bito, Koster, Hoogendijk, and can den Heilegeberg. They should prevail against the “Ice Daughters”
9) Russia (Previously #12)
The Korovkina goal wouldn’t have been possible were it not for sloppy defending from Anita Sante, Casey Stoney, and Laura Bassett. That’s to take nothing away from Elena Terekhova’s cheeky little flick back. Thanks to Touda’s superb goalkeeping, “Pussy Riot” still has a slim chance of making the quarters. Something tells me the Spaniards have other plans in mind.
10) Iceland (Previously #3)
From FEM 2013—Round Two:
“Sorry
girls. It was pure laziness that led me to effectively skip over you as if you
were some worthless backwater like Mississippi. I fucked up. You have no much
to offer this tournament. Your striking beauty AND striking prowess shall
henceforth not be overlooked! Trouble is, it will take me time to sort through
the tangled, sordid mess that is your surnames. You’re all named Dóttir!
I’m not kidding. Have I stumbled into some sort of comically devised RPG dwarf village? I can’t reasonably be expected to differentiate between you right away. Give me time. I’ll get to you when I can. I do have a job, you know.”
I’m not kidding. Have I stumbled into some sort of comically devised RPG dwarf village? I can’t reasonably be expected to differentiate between you right away. Give me time. I’ll get to you when I can. I do have a job, you know.”
I can’t believe I forgot! The suffix “dottir” means
“daughter”. All Icelandic children are named “sson” or “dottir”! Think of the
great Magnus VerMagnusson! Duh. Anyway, it’s been a pleasure getting to know
this team. Having been busy, I’m still a little slow on the uptake. No matter.
I’ll have more to write about this team….just not tonight ; )
11) England (Previously #9)
Probably about time to fire Hope Powell. She’s been in the job since 1998, more than enough time to grow complacent and ineffective. To be fair, no one could have forseen the Yankey injury. Kelly Smith’s last minute heroics notwithstanding, it’s pretty much over for the Lady Lions. Yet again I find myself writing that impeccable talent somehow just isn’t good enough. Let’s move on..
12) Finland (Previously #8)
Yeah…that’s a wrap. Hanging tight with the Italians gave them a flicker of hope, but that flame has been extinguished.
E-mail Riff of the Day
(Female)
Reader: I can’t believe you’re writing about the Women’s Euros. Has a girl ever
told you that you think too much?
Vicey: Only every girl that I’ve ever met in my life.
What are you? My Mother? Seriously. Mom? Is that you?
Time is tight, Syndicate Members. We don’t even have a few
spare minutes to compose a “Ramblings Section”. Next time, perhaps. For now,
we’ve little choice but to introduce a new special segment:
Shadow Scholar Syndicate Presents……….”BREVITY”.
Ugh. Just writing that word makes me cringe.
My Updated Stats—
Spread: 3-9
Straight up: 3-4-5
Betting traffic remains fairly light...at least insofar as
the NSA is concerned. Hi guys! How’s the “Dead-End Job” treating you? Mine’s
going well.
Tuesday
Sweden vs. Italy
vs. 
It’s style vs. strength…and the respective actors aren’t who you might expect! Can the three-pronged attack of Ianella (or Camporese), Panico, and Gabbiadini penetrate the Swedish defense without leaving themselves open to elegant counterattacks from Schelin and Asllani?
I’m willing to wager not. Take me up on it if you so desire.
THE
LINE: Sweden +2 Goals
Denmark vs. Finland
vs. 
Surely the Danish Dames will band together just in time to carry a convincing victory into the knockout stages. I still haven’t seen Emile Haavi….and that’s not cool.
THE
LINE: Denmark +1 Goal
Wednesday
Deutschland vs. Norway
vs. 
This looks to be a tight match. I’m nervous just thinking about it. Neid’s neophytes should prevail, but it won’t be easy.
Jennifer Cramer is out on double yellows, but Bianca Schmidt
can step right in.
THE
LINE: Deutschland +1 Goal
Netherlands vs. Iceland
vs. 
Don’t underestimate the “Ice Daughters”! They’ve quite a bit to show yet. I wouldn’t mind if they showed me some more skin, but I’ll settle for some good football ;)
THE
LINE: Netherlands +1 Goal
Thursday
France vs. England
vs. 
Bini will likely rest Necib, Soubreyrand, Bussaglia, Thiney,
and Georges. The lasses will give it all that they’ve got. No way to tell how
this one will play out. You’ll just have to watch and learn. Looking forward to
an epic battle that makes the “100 Years War” look like the reign of Jane Grey.
Good stuff coming up.
THE
LINE: Pick em’
Russia vs. Spain
vs. 
“Pussy Riot” crumbles before our eyes. Boquette and Adriana will join us in the Quarterfinals. Mark my words.
THE
LINE: Spain +1 Goal
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
