Shadow Scholar Syndicate: EM 2016--"Operation Infinite Syndicate"

Servus Syndicate Members,

Let’s get straight to the illegal (stateside) gambling if you don’t mind. Europeans don’t outlaw gambling on humans. Americans foolishly forbid gambling on humans, yet encourage gambling on horses and greyhound dogs. Feel sorry for both of those purebred breeds when you get a chance. Americans only allow gambling on sports that women find adorable. It’s obscene. Call a spade a spade.

This year’s Syndicate will focus exclusively on the Euro Matches. They’re closer to your friendly bookie’s heart. The Euros will change drastically in four years time. “Euro 2020” will take place all across the continent. This will be the final tournament during which all of the fixtures are hosted by a singe country. Moreover, all Westerners need to rally around France in the wake of the recent terrorist attacks that took place over the past year in Paris and Brussels. Civilized nations must stand tall and stand against the primitive notions of the un-showered, un-educated, and un-civilized.

ISIS/ISIL exists because idiots wish to rule the asylum. Stand tall against such ignorance…whilst not forgetting that Trump is a big fat egotistical moron that secretly wishes to lead a Jihad. That kind of ego belongs in the Muslim World. Period.

Let’s review the rules:

Vicey’s Fearless Group Prediction (3 to 1 Odds for bookie)

1) Canada

2) Netherlands

3) New Zealand

4) China PR

Here we have a “Group Prediction”, identical to the one that’s about to drop in a couple of hours. You can only bet AGAINST the bookie in this instance. If the Group finishes exactly as the bookie has predicted, you owe him three times your wager. Should it finish in any other permutation, he owes you your base wager. For example, should you bet $10 against, the bookie will owe you $10 UNLESS the four teams finish PRECISELY as he predicted. Should they finish precisely as he predicted, you owe him $30.

Onwards to the next example.

Overall Championship Odds

Canada (Straight Up)

Netherlands (3 to 1)

New Zealand (4 to 1)

China PR (12 to 1)

Should you bet $10 on Canada winning (and they do) …you’re entitled to $10.

Should you bet $10 on the Netherlands winning (and they do) …you’re entitled to $30.

Should you bet $10 on the New Zealand winning (and they do) …you’re entitled to $40.

Should you bet $10 on the China PR winning (and they do) …you’re entitled to $120.

Should the side not win, you owe the bookie $10.

The same logic applies to the other Round wagers.

Semifinal Odds

Canada (Straight Up)

Netherlands (Straight Up)

New Zealand (Straight Up)

China PR (5 to 1)

Should you bet $10 on Canada attaining (and they do) …you’re entitled to $10.

Should you bet $10 on the Netherlands attaining (and they do) …you’re entitled to $10.

Should you bet $10 on the New Zealand attaining (and they do) …you’re entitled to $10.

Should you bet $10 on the China PR attaining (and they do) …you’re entitled to $50.

Should the side not attain, you owe the bookie $10.

Moving on, we’re still more than a week away from the line bets, but we’ll get everyone limbered up.

Deutschland vs. Italy

vs.

The Line: Deutschland +3 Goals

The Favorite (Germany) is favored to win by 3 goals. If you bet on Italy, there are three ways you can win the bet:

1) Italy loses by less than 3 goals.

2) Match is a draw

3) Italy wins

Conversely, there is only one way to win if you bet on Germany

1) Germany wins by more than 3 goals

Should Germany win by precisely 3 goals, THE BET IS A WASH. THE BET IS A TIE. NO ONE OWES ANYONE ANYTHING

OTHER IMPORTANT THINGS TO KEEP IN MIND:

1) Your Bookie takes bets on a FIRST COME, FIRST SERVE BASIS. Your bookie reserves the right to refuse picks if either the line has moved or too much money has already come in one side. Get your wagers in early. If you snooze you lose. Or, as the Germans put it, “Ein Nickerchen bedeutet kein Fickerchen”

2) Speaking of conflict of interest, THERE IS ABSOLUTELY NO WAY IN HELL YOU'LL GET ME TO BET AGAINST GERMANY!! Don't even try. This would be analogous to a black man casting a vote for David Duke.

3) Payouts come at the end of the tournament. ALL BETTORS ALSO GET A SCHWAG PACK! Trust your bookie, if only because he can't risk having the lid blown off this shadowy operation.

4) Your friendly bookie reserves the right to roll lines. Absolute deadlines for submission will be set one hour prior to kickoff.

Alles Klar?

Onset Betting odds will be dispensed in over the course of the next few days. With the rules for Line Bets clarified, I’m pleased to deliver you your opening “Copa America Centenario” Lines:

Friday, June 3^rd

USA vs. Columbia