Laikala Syndicate Members, What a fantastic past two days of football! After an indubitably sluggish start, we’ve borne witness to three straight days of “light em’ up” football!
The manner in which the Burkinabés demolished Ethiopia may not conform to my East African allegiances, but the elegant pageantry of such a high-scoring match will surely garner attention of an all-too-preoccupied world.
Today’s offerings were nothing short of spectacular. The
anti-North-African inclinations of your friendly bookie were satiated in full.
Viva Les Elephants! Viva Adebayor! An unreservedly exciting finish awaits us
all, football fans. We’ll get to that right after your friendly bookie vents
about the unavoidable/entirely predictable problem of watching the matches via
peer-to-peer matches on his laptop.
--I’m not really interested in finding a “fuck buddy”. I
don’t give a damn about your “fuck request”. After some probing and ruminative
soul-searching, I’m not terribly interested in Russian Mail Order Brides
either. Go ahead. Tell me that I can “fuck a different woman every day”. I
already can. It’s called porn and it’s in my head.
--Speaking of these sad pop-ads that we have to fight
through in order to watch a little football, what loser out there responds to a
“fuck request”? Are you seriously telling me that some guy out there says,
“……Me? Gosh Golly! I know she’s serious! She has to be serious! No other
explanation for her using white text in standard font on a blue background.
I’ve received a “fuck request”!
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
There’s really no denying the fact the NUMEROUS PEOPLE
actually click on such advertisements. Who the hell these people are, why in
the hell they can’t masturbate privately/shamefully like the rest of us, and
how in the hell they obtained “Top Secret” clearance in the United States
Government are all questions beyond the scope of this paragraph.
Dealing with such facts proves just as impossible as dealing with the fact that only 1 in 6 Americans can locate the Ukraine on a map. It’s simply unbelievable. My mind can’t process it. I choose to believe it simply isn’t true. Otherwise, THE WORLD MAKES NO SENSE!!
Dealing with such facts proves just as impossible as dealing with the fact that only 1 in 6 Americans can locate the Ukraine on a map. It’s simply unbelievable. My mind can’t process it. I choose to believe it simply isn’t true. Otherwise, THE WORLD MAKES NO SENSE!!
--Dear Internet Ad Copywriters,
It’s all your fault. It’s all your fault that “Mad Men” is
popular. People yearn for a time when THOUGHT actually went into advertising.
“Penis Pill companies/Ron Jeremy’s psychoanalyst/John Holmes’
psychotherapist/Peter North’s chiropractor ‘HATE HIM’” doesn’t work.
You know something else? The “one ridiculously easy trick”
tagline doesn’t work either. Anyone with some semblance of a mind isn’t
interested in learning about how they can lower their cell-phone bills/reduce their
mortgage payment/save money on car insurance premiums/increase the size of
their cock/find their old High School Sweetheart/hook up with no strings
attached using “this one ridiculously easy trick”!!!
What the shallow-data-trolling fuck is wrong with you people? More clear to the point, who the algorithm-obsessed-key-punching-automaton bunch of worthless losers ARE you people!?!?
What the shallow-data-trolling fuck is wrong with you people? More clear to the point, who the algorithm-obsessed-key-punching-automaton bunch of worthless losers ARE you people!?!?
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
WHY??!?? I’m as interested in sex as much as any virile
(or older and impotent) male. That doesn’t mean I’m dumb enough to fall for
your pathetically primordial fodder!! I don’t accept your inclination that
people are inherently dumb. I just don’t. Most people (in my experience at
least) are too smart for their own good.
You’ve got humanity all wrong. Circumstances dictate that we all spend some time whittling away the hours in rooms that are both lonely and dark. You people, however, have spent far too much time in such rooms.
You’ve got humanity all wrong. Circumstances dictate that we all spend some time whittling away the hours in rooms that are both lonely and dark. You people, however, have spent far too much time in such rooms.
You’re the assholes who ensure that every time I try to watch a simple football game I have to deal with the “Hot and Thick Curvy Girls want YOU” Sidebar. Fuck you.
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
FUCK YOU!!!
Okay. That’s my miniature rant. Someday soon the day will
come when Americans can watch African football without all this nonsense. For
now we’ll discuss the football that transpired while most of us were fighting
through this avalanche of garbage…
My updated stats:
Spread: 3-13
Straight up: 4-6-6
Hell, I don’t give a shit. So long as the money flows and
the non-Arab African teams go.
The latest rankings:
1) Cote d’Ivoire (Previously #1)
The quote the enlightened and esoteric D’Angelo Barksdale directly, “The King stay the King”. Let there not a single lingering doubt remain. These Elephants have their eyes on the prize. They spanked a talented Eagles of Carthage squad. They dominated in possession throughout the full 90 minutes.
They sliced and diced their way through an experienced defensive corps, without so much as a hiccup. They owned the flanks. They finished with all the confidence of men who had just been blown by an entire cohort of Norwegian blondes. Most significantly, they did it all with neither Didier Drogba nor Didier Ya Konan in the starting lineup.
A beast of a game from the Gervinho of the gunners. Zokora,
Soloman Kalou, Yaya Toure, and Lacina Traore were hungry from the start. They
clawed and scraped their way to all manner of chances they had no business
earning. What they couldn’t find the final touch for, Touré and Ya Konan buried
in the waning moments. Magnificent arcing goal from the former and a two-touch
treasure from the latter.
Had Traore had more luck, had Gervinho directed his cross a few centimeters downward, had the referee awarded a penalty after that blatant handball in the box by Khalil Chamman, had Kalou not have proved too antsy….christ, we would have seen a 7-0 match.
Had Traore had more luck, had Gervinho directed his cross a few centimeters downward, had the referee awarded a penalty after that blatant handball in the box by Khalil Chamman, had Kalou not have proved too antsy….christ, we would have seen a 7-0 match.
Be afraid of this “Team of Destiny”. Be very afraid. Be
afraid of what head trainer Sabri Lamouchi had to say,
“Why didn’t I pick Didier Drogba? Because it seemed to me
that the eleven players I picked were the best to overcome this Tunisian side.”
Brazen words from the manager of a dangerously awesome
assembly
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
2) Burkina Faso (Previously #5)
D’Angelo Barksdale also got strangled to death with no
advance notice ; ( ; (
2) Burkina Faso (Previously #5)
Not since Bill S. Preston Esquire and Ted “Theodore” Logan have I witnessed “Wild Stallions” so thoroughly ace an exam. Round Two saw your friendly bookie misplace hopes in all manner of disappointing teams. Angola, Congo DR, Zambia, Morocco.
No such shattered hopes here. I have been vindicated!
From CAN 2013—Round Two:
“Pitroipa
is far from finished. We’ll hear from him along with other big names Kone,
Kabore, and Bance. I reiterate that this has consistently been a strong team
that merely needed to catch the right break. Looks as if they just might have
got it.”
HAH!
Money, money, money, money……..MONEY!
……
Money, money, money, money……..MONEY!
I need to calm down. I’ll turn down the O’Jays and put some
pants on while I’m at it.
How does one begin to describe by FAR the tournament’s most
thrilling performance? Reduced to ten men, the Burkinabes still managed to
thrash the Antelopes 4-nil. What a pulsating match. I was so damned pumped I
went to work and actually had a fantastic time. THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!
The Lion’s Share of the credit belongs to my boy Jonathan
Pitroipa. The former Hamburger SV man with the magic touch. His late game
heroics against the Super Eagles remain the sole reasons the Stallions still
compete. Could he really follow up that dazzling 95th minute run,
juke, and setup? Hell yes. He was even more mesmerizing in this one.
Awarded the entire left flank after his sensational performance, he quickly established dominance over that entire strip of the pitch, setting up Bance, Sanou, and Traore with early through balls. As if that weren’t enough, he collected a full switch beautifully around the half hour mark, only missing out on the opening goal after some resolute defending from Hailu.
His dogged persistence had much to do with the run-up in play that led to Traore’s snatching up a loose ball and firing home a laser of a goal in the 34th. He’d directly set up Traore’s brace in the 74th with that sick little flick on.
AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH, he’d pick out D. Kone five
minutes later for another direct assist. AS IF THAT WEREN’T ENOUGH, he pushed
himself hard to catch up with Benny Balima’s pass in the 95th for
his very own goal.
As superhuman at Pitroipa’s play was, the entire team
produced a gem of a match. Koulibaly and B. Kone were solid at the back. Backup
keeper Daoduda Diakite came in cold for the red-carded Abdouldaye Soulama to
stop a crucial penalty.
Though the effort may have been weak, keeping one’s nerves in such a situation must be lauded. Traore’s emphatic finishing was classic. D. Kone’s sliding finish in the 79th was about as lionhearted a piece of football as I’ve seen in a long time.
Though the effort may have been weak, keeping one’s nerves in such a situation must be lauded. Traore’s emphatic finishing was classic. D. Kone’s sliding finish in the 79th was about as lionhearted a piece of football as I’ve seen in a long time.
With Bance finally fit, I feel comfortable labeling this
team “unstoppable”. Roll on, Stallions.
Editor’s retroactive notes:
Roll on all the way to the Semis. Nothing quite like
winning an exorbitant amount of money from a football match. The more
enlightened Europeans have decreed that gambling should be completely legal.
Your turn, America.
3) South Africa (Previously #13)
For the 50,000 plus Bafana loyalists who pensively trudged into Soccer City on Wednesday fearing the worst, redemption is now spelled I-G-E-S-U-N-D. A tremendous leap of faith from the beleaguered trainer, and boy did it ever reap miraculous dividends. Five intrepid tactical changes constituted an enormous gamble. Kudos to Gordon for finding the stones for such drastic action. Nothing quite like the thrill of going all in…when it happens to work of course.
After watching his secondary attack struggle to get the ball
out of the middle of the park during 90 minutes of choppy football against the
Blue Sharks of Cape Verde, Igesund elected to dispense with the midfield
entirely and sit both his strikers. Majoro began the fixture on the bench.
Surprisingly enough, so did Dutch prospect Thulani Serero. Instead he deployed
his other two natural strikers Kathlego Mphela and Tokelo Rantie. Bernard
Parker was relegated to Tshabalala’s attacking role on the left flank with Dean
Furman and May Mahlangu replacing Dikgacoi and Lesothoyanye respectively.
The role played by Furman, this year’s token white guy for
the astute observers, appeared to be that of a critical Schweinsteiger-esque
holding midfield “Flight Director”. This enable Sangweni and Masilela to mostly
ignore their defensive duties and push forward in the service of a suddenly
monstrous seven-pronged South African offensive blitz.
The results proved nothing short of astounding. It was Sangweni who opened the scoring with that mind-blowing first time hit of a cross that took a deflection off of Angolan defender Luinguinha. He may have been gifted a fortuitous bounce, but the center back deserves immense credit for his flawless finish. In spite of their selection, Rantie and Mphela were exhibiting terrible finishing. Thankfully, a defender was on hand to show them how it’s done.
The results proved nothing short of astounding. It was Sangweni who opened the scoring with that mind-blowing first time hit of a cross that took a deflection off of Angolan defender Luinguinha. He may have been gifted a fortuitous bounce, but the center back deserves immense credit for his flawless finish. In spite of their selection, Rantie and Mphela were exhibiting terrible finishing. Thankfully, a defender was on hand to show them how it’s done.
Effectively managing a squad doesn’t end at picking the
right starting eleven. Igesund afforded his benched players an opportunity for
redemption, subbing in Lesothoyanye at the restart and introducing Majoro in
the 58th. It took all of four minutes for Majoro to erase all
memories of his uninspiring debut when he out-deked the rattled Massunguna and
calmly slipped the second goal past an over-committed Lama.
So here we are. Instead of writing the Bafana obituary, the
rough outline of which was already swimming around in my head, I’m writing
about how this team should be considered a shoe-in for the knockout-phases.
Amazing how the tables can turn in tournament football, were one match is all
it takes to make a contender out of a pretender.
Igesund all of sudden has a deep team, most of which has seen positive action. If there remains any cause for concern heading into the showdown with the Moroccans, it’s that he has too many choices and too much confidence. We’ll all watch whom he deploys with great interest. For now, it’s reasonable to assume he’ll make the right calls.
Igesund all of sudden has a deep team, most of which has seen positive action. If there remains any cause for concern heading into the showdown with the Moroccans, it’s that he has too many choices and too much confidence. We’ll all watch whom he deploys with great interest. For now, it’s reasonable to assume he’ll make the right calls.
4) Togo (Previously #8)
Apologies for the flashback, but your friendly bookie delights in the rare occasion that he happens to be right:
From
CAN 2013—Round Two
“It
will get better. Adebayor’s moment of brilliance was brilliantly stifled by a
suddenly possessed Boubacar Barry. Didier Six will have words with Serge Gapke
about taking dumb opportunities at the expense of his mates. Vincent Bossou
will take heart from his effective performance against Drogba. Nimbombe will
eventually comprehend that his disallowed goal doesn’t mean he can’t bring it
next time around. Relax, Sparrow Hawk fans. It WILL GET BETTER. Bookies honor.”
Who better than the legendary Emmanuel Adebayor to score
against the run of play for a team with a back story that makes one’s heart
bleed? Farewell Desert Foxes. Hello Sparrow Hawks. Onwards to the knockout
stages.
5) Ghana (Previously #7)
Great news for all of us that the Black Stars are up and running. True, it wasn’t the most dominant win. True, Dauda absolutely should have been sent off the pitch after blatantly breaking the rules to rob the Eagles of an early goal.
Nevertheless, one must admit that Kwesi Appiah’s side deserved to win the game. They generated far more chances. The “Clash of the Primer Meridian Titans” was never going to be an easy match to win convincingly. No controversy. The Gold Coast Playas earned it.
So now then. How to get this attack actually coordinated
enough to become fear inducing? As predicted Appiah jettisoned the largely
ineffective approach he used against the Congolese. He slanted Asamoah Gyan
over the left and brought Kwadwo Asamoah and Albert Adamoah to serve as
striking companions. He shuffled Boye and Paintsil over to their preferred
defensive positions and brought in Red Bull Salzburg’s Isaac Vorsah to shore up
the defense. This enabled him shift Agyemang-Badu and Mubarak out to the wings
for a five attacker spread.
Essentially, he implemented just about every change I
advocated last round and the results--as anyone who’s ever made the mistake of
listening to me knows--were largely ineffectual until Agyemang-Badu managed to
hit the iron just past the half hour mark. That play itself had almost nothing
to do with the lineup and most everything to do with some time invested in
practicing set pieces on the training ground. The lineup also had nothing to do
with the spot kick awarded after the vicious challenge on Agyemang-Badu some
seven minutes later.
Either I’m being too “nit-picky”….or….the use of a comma
in the opening sentence of this paragraph was totally unwarranted. Tsk, Tsk.
When will you ever learn, Vicey? (The comma there should be considered fully
justified.
Virtually all of the Black Star’s chances came off of free
kicks or corners, leaving the question of the lineup still unanswered. At this
point, however, it doesn’t really matter much as Appiah could start a
48-year-old Abedi Pele up front against Niger and probably still win big.
Another much discussed absense that won’t matter is the suspension of
Espanyol’s trigger man Mubarak.
In case you missed it, after he converted the match penalty, he lifted up his shirt to reveal a White T inscribed with the words “Allah is Great”. He knew it would earn him his second yellow, but hell it was worth it. After all the penalty kick woes this team has been through in international competitions, why not celebrate finally getting it right?
In case you missed it, after he converted the match penalty, he lifted up his shirt to reveal a White T inscribed with the words “Allah is Great”. He knew it would earn him his second yellow, but hell it was worth it. After all the penalty kick woes this team has been through in international competitions, why not celebrate finally getting it right?
Editor’s retroactive notes:
The supportive tone is brought to you courtesy of the
hard fact that “There is no such thing as religious strife in Ghana”.
Christians and Muslims peacefully coexist. You want me to embrace Allah? Stop
killing in his name. Period.
Root for this team. Yes, even you bitter Americans. We need them to go deep in this tournament if only for the amusing stories. One guy likes to pull an Israeli Flag out of his shorts. Another is proud to proclaim “Allah u Akbar”. Asamoah Gyan, the talented captain, is forbidden from taking any more penalty kicks after he promised his dying mother who watched him miss that crucial one in 2010 World Cup Quarterfinals. Now that’s a story! I can only imagine my mother forcing me into a similar pact.
“Vicey, my son. Soon I shall shed this mortal coil. All I
ask is that you stop embarrassing yourself.”
Editor’s retroactive notes:
Sadly….this may actually occur one day ; ( ; (
6) Mali (Previously #2)
Few bright spots for Eagles fans to reflect upon after the Ghanaian defeat….or the increasingly prolonged stalemate in the Sawahel. Don’t get me started on that. Flanking the two Diarras on either side of Chiek Diabate was an inspired experiment, albeit one that bore no tangible fruit.
Nevertheless, this bookie remains hopeful. Another solid match for Barca’s Keita. A serviceable debut for Maiga. Average relief efforts from Samassa and Sissoko. Slightly below average performance from the two Traores and a real stinker from Mahamadou N’Diaye.
Look, these guys are allowed to have an “off” game every so
often. Fate cruelly divined that they should all go through their adversity
together. I maintain the faith. This crew remains too good to be shut out of
the quarterfinals.
7) Nigeria (Previously #14)
Cursed I tell you. Cursed. John Obi Mikel missed the deserved penalty, and Zambian goalkeeper (yes, GOALKEEPER) Kennedy Mweene converts the undeserved one. Cursed. CURSED!
In spite of all the misfortune, fans of the snake bit Super
Eagles have reason to believe that they do in fact glimpse light emanating from
the end of the tunnel. The voodoo hex might yet be lifted. Keshi picked a fine
lineup that didn’t disappoint. After Victor Moses received fitness clearance,
he was assigned Yemenite’s left flank position, with Emmenike himself slotted
to point man. The scrappy Spartak Moscow forward definitely earned his
promotion to the center after a gritty performance against the Antelopes.
Keshi may not have had the courage to ditch the 4-3-2-1, but
tinkered with it serviceably, giving Mikel’s central role to Igiebor. The
sloppy synthetic pitch of Nelspruit virtually killed the short passing game,
but Moses and Emmenike were able to connect splendidly on numerous occasions.
As a duo they display exceptional lateral awareness.
Look for them to combine again in the upcoming match that will send the Eagles through. All that is truly needed is the integration of Musa, who once again exhibited poor-decision making. Perhaps Onazi could fill his role until whilst Musa figures out when to unleash long-range efforts, when to play square, and when to break.
Look for them to combine again in the upcoming match that will send the Eagles through. All that is truly needed is the integration of Musa, who once again exhibited poor-decision making. Perhaps Onazi could fill his role until whilst Musa figures out when to unleash long-range efforts, when to play square, and when to break.
Keshi’s 4-3-2-1 can work provided his players develop an
understanding of how best to exploit the width of the pitch. Should current
trends continue, they might go deep in the tournament yet.
Editor’s retroactive notes:
Editor’s retroactive notes:
“Balls deep”. That’s what I should have written.
Vulgarity shall always remain a part of the Syndicate. Bookies honor.
8) Angola (Previously #11)
From CAN 2013 “Round Two”:
“With
two matches yet to play, The Sables will not be gifted too many more
opportunities. Fail to convert against the hosts and this team is likely
toast.”
Now, now. It a’int quite over yet. In spite of more
frustration for the aging Mateus and Manucho. In spite of the deplorable
late-game theatrics from Amaro. In spite of Pirolito’s dip in form. In spite of
Ferrin’s lack of options off the bench. In spite of all this, the Sable
Antelopes remain my favorites to sneak into the quarterfinals.
They certainly maintain the talent to get the job done against an overachieving Cape Verdian side that must be exhausted after fighting two fast-paced sides to hard fought draws. The Moroccans may have salvaged a point against the group’s Dark Horse but they’ve left the door wide open for this much maligned club to find their stride at precisely the right time.
They certainly maintain the talent to get the job done against an overachieving Cape Verdian side that must be exhausted after fighting two fast-paced sides to hard fought draws. The Moroccans may have salvaged a point against the group’s Dark Horse but they’ve left the door wide open for this much maligned club to find their stride at precisely the right time.
Even though the score-line might suggest otherwise, the
Antelopes demonstrated enough for me in their second fixture. Manucho showed
signs that he’s regaining his aerial touch with two solid efforts that Khune
had to be on his toes to beat away. He even set up Mateus with a splendid
glancing header back across, though the Portuguese target man couldn’t supply a
fitting finish.
Mateus himself may be having difficulty with his stroke, but he cut back superbly for Afonso minutes after the restart. Manucho played with heart and resilience all the way down the stretch, even after the result was decided.
Mateus himself may be having difficulty with his stroke, but he cut back superbly for Afonso minutes after the restart. Manucho played with heart and resilience all the way down the stretch, even after the result was decided.
In summation, a quarterfinal berth for this team remains a
manner of simple execution. It’s “hands-off” time for Gustavo Ferrin. Leave the
side alone. Allow them to continue to play their way into form, peaking when it
matters.
9) Tunisia (Previously #3)
Hahahahaha. DIE! DIE you indolent bastards. Welcome to the SIXTH installment of “Your friendly bookie doesn’t much care to expend too much energy on North Africa”.
This tournament couldn’t have turned out better.
10) Cape Verde (Previously #12)
The Cinderella story continues to shape up nicely for the smallest nation ever to compete on this stage. Victory against their reeling former Portuguese colonial mates will see the Blue Sharks through to the knockout stages in an ascension sure to prove historic in the international football universe.
Here’s why I don’t see it happening:
Three of the four defenders—Nando, Fernando Varela, and
Nivaldo—have logged 180 minutes. After turning in a sensational performance as
a defensive duo during the South Africa match, Nando and Varela repeatedly
pushed forward, engineering two out of the three prime scoring chances against
the North Africans in Round Two. While that pair combined for a pair of deftly
swung in crosses, Nivaldo also got himself involved in the rush. He truly stung
Vozinha’s hands with a throbbing effort early in the match.
In short, this trio has delivered just about all that one
can expect from one’s fullbacks over the course of the initial two rounds.
Asking them to repeat these virtuosities appears an unrealistic request. Apart
from Platini’s goal, which one may attribute to Vozinha’s poor decision to
pursue a 30-70 challenge for the loose ball, the striking corps isn’t clicking.
Nhuck (also referred to as Heldon Ramos) cannot find the creativity to generate an effort that isn’t catching practice for the keepers. Ryan Mendes, Julio Tavares, and Toni Varela owe their looks at goal to the aforementioned atypical efforts of the downfield players.
Nhuck (also referred to as Heldon Ramos) cannot find the creativity to generate an effort that isn’t catching practice for the keepers. Ryan Mendes, Julio Tavares, and Toni Varela owe their looks at goal to the aforementioned atypical efforts of the downfield players.
Lucio Atunes will find himself with little choice but to
send them forward again, leaving the entire right side of the pitch exposed and
vulnerable. There’s certainly no guarantee that Manucho, Mateus, and Gilberto
will exploit this area of the pitch, but one must confer upon them the benefit
of the doubt. We should see some entertaining football from our Cinderella men
bearing the mafia names as they bow out. They absolutely should, however, bow
out.
Editor’s retroactive notes:
Editor’s retroactive notes:
Every last prediction turned out to be wrong. Fernando
Varela and Nando both scored in the subsequent match. Heldon Ramos performed
admirably. Ryan Mendes indirectly contributed to an Angolan own-goal. Being
completely wrong never fails to amp up my mood!! Prove me wrong, people. Pretty
please : ) ; )
Ouch. The Leopards not only threw their chances of advancing
away like a soaked rubber, they threw me in front of a damned bullet train:
11) Zambia (Previously #10)
Okay Chipololos. NOW you have my permission to start panicking. Could this really be the end of the line for the defending champions? Afraid so. I don’t care how high Kennedy Mweene’s Cloud 9 sails; he’s only the Vice Captain.
Captain Christopher Katongo played a wretched match. His unforeseen dip in form constitutes horrible news. Some reports have him suffering from a possible injury after catching more pitch than ball on an atrocious long-range effort.
As predicted, Renard had to sit Mbesuma in addition to
yanking Chansa and Lungu early to avoid accruing double yellows. Katongo never
quite seemed at ease with Mayuka beside him. That throws a wrench in Renard’s plans.
He had clearly hoped use Mayuka as a substitute sparkplug once reinstituting
Mbesuma. His backup plans are in peril too as Jacob Mulenga saw no action and
Mukaka Mulenga might have done better to see none.
One potential solution would be to move Rainford Kalaba up
front. The African journeyman’s stretch play was one of the few bright spots in
a match that the Copper Bullets should consider themselves extremely lucky to
have escaped with a point. One hesitates to write off this exceptionally talented
team and their tactical master of a coach so early….but how can they really
expect to top the red-hot Burkinabes?
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
12) Congo DR (Previously #4)
Christ did they ever fuck up. The goalless draw that
ensued didn’t exactly qualify as a “Major League Fuck Up”, but it redefined the
boundaries.
12) Congo DR (Previously #4)
From CAN 2013—Round Two:
“The
inclusive mixture of European Club stars with domestic league players indicates
that Le Roy is prepared to go for broke. He’s got tons of options, all of who
have a penchant for attack and a hunger for goal. Hell, why NOT throw them all
into the mix and see where it leads?
I’m
rapidly becoming a zealous convert. A scant four days ago, I gave this squad
4-1 overall championship odds. After Sunday’s surprisingly pulsating coming-out
party, I’ll drop that to 2-1.
Go
Leopards, Go!”
Well…so much for that. It seemed perfectly plausible.
Anderlecht teammates Mbokani and Kabangu remained in-step on the pitch
together. Mulumbi and Makaidi debuted strongly. Even LuaLua even appeared
poised to defy his age for one last magical tournament run.
Then the Niger match occurred……
What the Brazzalivian fuck happened? I have no clue. Mpeku
and Mabilala were dispossessed easier than Linda Blair on Vicodin. Mabilala in
particular played a nightmare of match, fumbling away the ball at the back to
very nearly provide the Menas with two stunners. Mbokani and LuaLua missed FIVE
golden opportunities to bulge the back of the net by my count, and that was
only in the opening half! Mulumbu screwed another close-range gimme wide from
just inside the 18.
Contrary to what one reads in various post-match write-ups,
the Leopards did not look—to me at least—like a “boring” team. Additionally, I
found them neither “amateurish” nor “languid”. The short passing game clicked
crisply. Amkiadi and Kanbangu excelled at placing the ball directly on the tip
of their forward striker’s boot.
My immediate reaction upon witnessing the “near misses” wasn’t “what poor finishing!” To my eyes they were historic plays that failed to materialize either because of a top-class performance from Menas keeper Kassally or some sort of stubborn inconsistency on the Port Elizabeth pitch.
My immediate reaction upon witnessing the “near misses” wasn’t “what poor finishing!” To my eyes they were historic plays that failed to materialize either because of a top-class performance from Menas keeper Kassally or some sort of stubborn inconsistency on the Port Elizabeth pitch.
Damn. Hate to go digging for excuses, but I’m just so bloody
sullen. The Leopards aren’t going anywhere…and they should have been. Damn.
13) Morocco (Previously #9)
From Group Favorites to Group Flops all in one match. Belhanda was deemed fit enough to start, enabling the Atlas Lions to return to their preferred 4-4-1-1 formation with the Montpelier man serving as the anchoring striker.
It mattered not. They blew it big time. Throughout the first 45 they looked downright flummoxed, pinned back in their defending third and limited to a few meek distance efforts. El Hamadoui was nowhere to be found. More alarmingly, Baradda, Amrabat, El Ahmadi, Belhanda, and Assaidi managed perhaps one touch among them.
Witnessing such high-caliber players like Assaidi and
Arambat being pulled so early was nothing short of bizarre. Belhanda’s removal
after his dangerous challenge bodes further ill for a team that now finds
itself in full-blown crisis mode. Don’t let Taoussi’s casual downplaying of his
team’s chemistry issues fool you. Too many egos flare up with frustration and
insult. It will take an Al Pacino-like locker room motivational address to
restore this team’s cohesion.
For the second consecutive tournament, the Atlas Lions look
like safe bets to implode in the first round despite fielding one of the
talented teams in the competition.
14) Niger (Previously #16)
Well, we’re out of the basement. The Maestro from Offenbach has a simple enough strategy: roll out the same eleven players in the same formation and hope for some tame consolation prizes. Might as well commend the Group B Whipping Boys for thus far killing the Malian buzz and cock-blocking the Congolese.
Next up, we’ll see if they gatecrash the Black Star Party.
For the Menas, the story thus far centers around the superb
play of goalkeeper Kassaly Daouda, evidently quite comfortable on the same
South African pitches which he earns his living. Moussa Maazou and Modibo
Sidibe have furnished their own appealing flashes of brilliance.
Perhaps they’ll have one or two more in store for us before heading towards the exits. Mostly, however, I’m just looking forward to seeing this spoiling team towards the door. They slow the matches down with a yawn-inducing neutral zone trap and loads of desperate tackling. Time to go.
Perhaps they’ll have one or two more in store for us before heading towards the exits. Mostly, however, I’m just looking forward to seeing this spoiling team towards the door. They slow the matches down with a yawn-inducing neutral zone trap and loads of desperate tackling. Time to go.
15) Ethiopia (Previously #6)
And we are…outta here. Can’t say I didn’t see this one coming.
From CAN 2013—Round Two
“The
road only gets more arduous now for the Underdog Antelopes. It’s highly
doubtful I’ll be composing such a glowing review come next round”
It might have all been different. If only Shimelis hadn’t
struck the bar. If only Grima hadn’t suffered that debilitating injury. If only
Assefa had converted that spot kick. Oh well. It’s all over now. Nothing left
to do but show some heart against the Super Eagles. Don’t let them overtly use
you as a stepping-stone.
16) Algeria
They’re gone! Gone I say! LIBERTY! The hostage-taking desert dwellers have officially been eliminated. Despite all of the fear they instilled in me during the qualifying stages, they’re finished. Despite fielding the team with the greatest pedigree for the second year in a row, they’re done!
Good riddance I say. Allah be praised.
Welcome to the SEVENTH installment of “Your friendly bookie doesn’t much care to expend too much energy on North Africa”.
Let’s Rock some Lines!
Sunday
Morocco vs. South Africa
vs. 
Are we ready to proclaim faith in the Igesund army? Reluctantly, this bookie concedes that he hasn’t much of a choice. Even with Majoro carried off on a stretcher, logic dictates that even if this injury proves to be something other than a melodramatic ploy…Tshabalala remains available. Bet on momentum. Roll in with the tide.
THE
LINE: South Africa +1 Goal
Editor’s retroactive notes:
RESULT: Morocco 2, South Africa 2. What a firecracker!
Nearly 50,000 frenzied Bafana enthusiasts packed into Moses Mabhinda Stadium in
Durban to watch this furiously competitive match. In all likelihood, not one
spectator utilized the full amount of space furnished by the bleachers.
(Er….that would be my overly-esoteric way of telling you that “Everyone was on
the edge of their seat!” or “The fans paid for an entire seat, but only needed
the edge!”
Clichés haunt sportswriters. They remain the reason we
often need hours to compose a simple write-up. ; ( ; ( Nothing quite like a
“Linear Lead Game”. One defines such an encounter as a match in which the
favorites score the anticipated goal, only for the underdogs to pull it back
and keep matters on level terms. Further intrigue found itself piped into
Durban via the simultaneous upset victory of Cape Verde over Angola. More on
that later. For now, let’s discuss this gem.
Isaam El Adoua put Bafana behind early with a beast of a
header in the 10th minute. There are “glancing headers” and
“emphatic headers”. There are “whipped headers” and there are “lashed headers”.
El Adoua’s header defies such perfunctory description. The Moroccan Midfielder
crashed an Abdelaziz Barrada corner so hard downward into the turf that it
sprung up to rebound in off the crossbar.
South Africa kept the Atlas Lions from expanding their lead on several ensuing occasions. Captain Bongani Khumalo stood tall with a precision tackle on Youssef El Arabi’s worthy effort while keeper Itumeleng Khune bravely rushed 45 yards out to sprawl tackle a breakaway run from Kamel Chafni. He also brushed aside a wicked little swerve from Chahir Belghazouni as the Moroccan onslaught continued.
South Africa kept the Atlas Lions from expanding their lead on several ensuing occasions. Captain Bongani Khumalo stood tall with a precision tackle on Youssef El Arabi’s worthy effort while keeper Itumeleng Khune bravely rushed 45 yards out to sprawl tackle a breakaway run from Kamel Chafni. He also brushed aside a wicked little swerve from Chahir Belghazouni as the Moroccan onslaught continued.
After the teams emerged from the locker rooms, Thuso
Phala did his utmost to restore parity with a very technical curved free kick
from approximately 35 yards out, but Lamyarghi proved equal to it. On the other
side of the pitch, Khune again had to come rushing outside the area when El
Arabi again broke through unchallenged and attempted to flick an effort past
the lone player left to oppose him.
After a veritable slew of chances left the Bafana faithful sighing, May Mahlungu finally broke through in the 71st. After the resourceful Tokelo Rantie (a starting choice advocated by many of us amateur commentators) cleverly drew off the defense and cut back for the totally unmarked Swedish League Superstar. Maylungu took two deft touches before bending in a gorgeous arc that sent the whole audience into convulsions.
After a veritable slew of chances left the Bafana faithful sighing, May Mahlungu finally broke through in the 71st. After the resourceful Tokelo Rantie (a starting choice advocated by many of us amateur commentators) cleverly drew off the defense and cut back for the totally unmarked Swedish League Superstar. Maylungu took two deft touches before bending in a gorgeous arc that sent the whole audience into convulsions.
The “Lions of the Atlas” would reclaim the lead within
ten minutes. Substitute Abdeliah Hafidi chested down a precision cross from his
fellow substitute Zakaria Begdich. The former then proceeded to slap in an
lovely finish that was every bit as precise as the cross from 13 meters out.
The Bafana hordes needn’t have despaired as Siyabonga
Sangweni would soon supply the equalizer a mere four minutes later. The Orlando
Pirates defender collected the ball after a fortuitous broken tackle. He spun
this straw stalk of good fortune into gold with a cheeky backwards first touch
that threw off the contesting three defenders. He then made good use of the
space with a crisp finish off the turn. Tie game.
As exciting as the closing minutes of this game were,
practically all of us found ourselves glued to the final minutes of the Cape
Verde match…..which we shall now discuss.
Cape Verde vs. Angola
vs. 
It’s in the interest of both sides to play for a draw. Ferrin and the Sable Antelopes may very well put their best eleven forward, but they’ve shown no ability to produce a convincing win. Anticipating a squeaker here.
THE
LINE: Angola +1 Goal
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT: Cape Verde 2, Angola 1. We weren’t supposed to be
watching this “B-Match”. In drew us in at the most inopputune of moments. As a
first-half of Angolan dominance drew to a close, everything appeared to be
proceeding according to plan when Nando inadvertently kicked in an Amaro cross
intended for Mateus in the 33rd.
The Blue Sharks were not to be denied, however. Babanco,
Platini, and Julio Tavares were quick to respond with quality attempts that
came agonizingly short of the sought-after equalizer. Manucho and Lama achieved
the extremely rare “Double Clearance off the Line” after a freakish corner left
Djaniny with a wide-open chance. Heldon Ramos nearly attained the scoresheet
with some nifty set-piece work. It still wasn’t to be.
The dramatic equalizer came nine minutes from time. Lama
couldn’t quite punch away a Marco Soares corner. Diniz attempted a halfhearted
clearance, but the lurking Toni Varela went ahead and delivered an outstanding
header. Advancement was eventually secured via a rather flukish sequence of
events. A Marco Soares cross deflected off the feet of Manucho. Lama fluffed
the easy grab and Heldon Ramos torpedoed the rebound home.
It was brutal. Cape Verde secured passage in the 91st
minute. We got a squeaker, though not in the way that any of us could have
forseen.
THE
WORD (On Group A): CONSIDER THE SCRIPT FLIPPED.
Initial
Group Projection (1/18/2013)
1)
Morocco
2) South
Africa
3) Cape
Verde
4)
Angola
Final
Group Projection (1/26/2013)
1) South
Africa
2)
Angola
3) Cape
Verde
4)
Morocco
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings
1) South Africa
2) Cape Verde
3) Morocco
4) Angola
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings
1) South Africa
2) Cape Verde
3) Morocco
4) Angola
Monday
Niger vs. Ghana
vs. 
Finally time for the Black Stars to shake it into high gear. We’ve all had enough of this calculative buildup. To reiterate: The Mubarak suspension means NOTHING. Assante or Annan takes his place…and all is well.
THE
LINE: Ghana +1 Goal
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT: Ghana 3, Niger 0. The Black Stars wasted no time
in pouncing all over their outmatched opponents. Adomah, Afful, Atsu, and
Asamoah Gyan all poured forward on the break in the 6th minute.
Adomah controlled well on the right flank. He then picked Gyan out of his
preponderance of options. The oft-capped international swatted in a perfect
finish that would have made his dearly departed mother proud.
The Menas had their legitimate chances to restore parity,
but ended up ceding little than menacing Ghanian counters courtesy of some
serious defensive lapses. One such instance allowed the Black Stars to double
their advantage in the 23rd. Mohammed Soumalia dumbly attempted a
blind back tricycle kick just shy of his team’s attacking half.
Christian Atsu gratefully accepted the gift and charged forward with a full head of stream before serving up Gyan with a forward ball on the left side. Gyan then waited for Atsu to carve out some space in the center before hitting him square in the chest with a beautiful return cross. Trailing defender Kourouma Fatoukouma scrambled to catch up, but could only trip over his own feet. Atsu coolly chested down and poked home a lovely finish off the volley.
Christian Atsu gratefully accepted the gift and charged forward with a full head of stream before serving up Gyan with a forward ball on the left side. Gyan then waited for Atsu to carve out some space in the center before hitting him square in the chest with a beautiful return cross. Trailing defender Kourouma Fatoukouma scrambled to catch up, but could only trip over his own feet. Atsu coolly chested down and poked home a lovely finish off the volley.
John Boye dashed any hopes of a comeback early in the
second half after Mena keeper Kassaly Daouda couldn’t hang on to a forceful
header that Gyan sent in off an Afful free kick. The flustered keeper could
only direct the rebound directly in Boye’s path. The score thus stood 3-0 four
minutes after the restart. Gyan failed to tie a bow on his monster game when he
flat-footed a cross that left him all alone in front of goal ten minutes later.
Gyan’s fluffed chance would prove to be the last memorable moment in a match
that then slowed to a crawl.
Congo DR vs. Mali
Congo DR vs. Mali
vs. 
We’ll allow the Eagles their “off game”. A repeat of the comatose performance of N’Diaye and the two Traores is almost inconceivable. Conversely, Mbokani and LuaLua have already played their best match of the tournament.
THE
LINE: Mali +1 Goal
Editor’s retroactive notes:
RESULT: Mali 1, Congo DR 1. Plenty of excitement in this
one even if both goals were scored early. Claude Le Roy must have given one his
most impassioned pre-game speeches. His Leopards came flying out of the gate.
Lomana LuaLua struck with brilliant intent inside of the first minute and was
unlucky to see his curling shot carom off the far post. Mali failed to clear
their lines and new starting forward Yves Diba Illunga was charging back into
the danger zone within thirty seconds.
The beaten Mohammed Sissoko threw out a late foot to trip him up. Ilunga might have embellished matters a tad, but the referee showed no hesitation in pointing to the spot. Mbokani converted the 3rd minute penalty for Congo’s second score from the spot in the tournament. After receiving dubious attention for his patented “ass slide celebration”, Congolese keeper Muteba Kidiaba treated us all to an encore. ; )
The beaten Mohammed Sissoko threw out a late foot to trip him up. Ilunga might have embellished matters a tad, but the referee showed no hesitation in pointing to the spot. Mbokani converted the 3rd minute penalty for Congo’s second score from the spot in the tournament. After receiving dubious attention for his patented “ass slide celebration”, Congolese keeper Muteba Kidiaba treated us all to an encore. ; )
At the time of this particular match, Ansar Dine was
still pushing southward and had just occupied the historic city Timbuktu.
Strife-torn Mali needed a hero. It took a scant ten minutes for two to arise.
Adam Tamboura did well to pounce on a loose ball that resulted from a
inconclusive 50-50. He did even better to keep the ball from going beyond the
near post touchline. He did better still to cut back adroitly in the area of
surging Mahamadou Samassa. The Serie-B-based striker allowed the delivery a
propitious bounce before lacing in first time. Sharp breakaways and solid
lateral play on both sides kept the remainder of the first half entertaining
until the whistle.
Samassa was
the first to fire a warning shot after the restart, stinging the hands of
Kidiaba with a blistering effort from 20 yards out. Mbokani was in the mood at
the other end, winning a hard-fought aerial challenge but directing the finish
just wide. West Brom midfielder Youssouf Mulumbu had a go from 25 yards out,
rifling in a scorcher that Mahamadou Samassa acrobatically dove to keep out.
Mulumbu is in the midst of a monster season for WBA. It’s a damn shame we won’t
be seeing him in Brazil this summer ; ( ; (
“Les Aigles” had the better chances as the match wound
down. Coulibaly produced a fine header off a Seydou Keita corner that whizzed
inches wide. Chieck Diabate later had the keeper beat, but—still under pressure
from two defenders—could only muster a poorly angled effort that hit the
outside of the post.
That was the last we shall see of Congo DR for quite some
time. The languid Leopards couldn’t get out of the second round of CAF
qualifying and were unfortunate enough to draw Cameroon and Cote d’Ivoire in
the Group Stage CAN 2015 Round. After sacking Claude Le Roy (again) and
bringing in Jean-Santos Muntubila (again) the Congolese National team finds
itself in an awkward transitional period. It’s doubtful we’ll be hearing from
them anytime soon.
THE
WORD (On Group B): CALL IT A PERFECT PICK
Initial
Group Projection (1/18/2013)
1)
Ghana
2)
Mali
3) Congo
DR
4) Niger
Final
Group Projection (1/18/2013)
1)
Ghana
2)
Mali
3) Congo
DR
4) Niger
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings:
1) Ghana
2) Mali
3) Congo DR
4) Niger
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings:
1) Ghana
2) Mali
3) Congo DR
4) Niger
Tuesday
Burkina Faso vs. Zambia
vs. 
The Burkinabés finally have the privilege of hitting the sweet spot. Even though we can anticipate that the Stallions will rest Alain Traore, D. Kone, Dah, and Kabore…Pitroipa must remain on the pitch. No one can best him; not at this point anyway.
THE
LINE: Burkina Faso +1 Goal
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT: Burkina Faso 0, Zambia 0. Belgian coach Paul Put
opted only to rest Dah and even then threw him in the mix as a halftime
substitute. It did no good as we were all treated to a downright feeble
goalless encounter that failed to recover from early injuries to both sides (A.
Traore’s 11th minute and Davies Nkausu 15th minute). The
match turned out to be every bit as ugly and sloppy as the turf in Nelspruit
Stadium, itself a factor in both of the injuries.
Tentative play ensued, with the only quality efforts
coming from set pieces. Before suffering his injury, Traore telegraphed a
marvelous free kick directly onto Benjamin Balima’s boot. Balima whiffed on the
easy touch and the tone was set. Collins Mbesuma played an atrocious match. He
wasted prime positioning with a lame effort that the goalkeeper didn’t have to
move to collect in the 20th. Rainford Kalaba directly another meek
header directly keeper Daouda Diakite in the 44th. Once again the
Burkinabe net minder didn’t have to move.
With this fixture turning into an absolute snoozefest,
most of us flicked over to the Nigeria-Ethiopia game in hopes of watching some
real football. The Highlight reel confirms we didn’t miss much. Mbesuma
continued his poor run of form with a header over and Jonathan Pitriopa finally
elected to show up and supply us with a bit of dazzle in the 88th.
Other than that, it was well worth it to follow the action in Rustenberg instead.
Ethiopia vs. Nigeria
vs. 
Keshi’s 4-3-2-1 might finally fall into focus….or not. If
there’s any chance for him to pick the right players for the wrong formation,
that would be right about now. Admittedly, my belief in the Super Eagles
inevitable demise was far too myopic. They’ll go down in the knockout round.
For now, relax and enjoy the show.
THE
LINE: Nigeria +2 Goals
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT: Nigeria 2, Ethiopia 0. Keshi deployed the
above-noted 4-3-2-1, though at times it looked more like a 4-1-4-1. Moses was
the more active of the two midfielders, setting up Ambrose. Elderson, and Uche
for first half near-misses. On the left flank, Emmenike finally found himself
in space near the end of the first half, but could only boot one way over.
In all of the post-tournament approbation, one tends to
forget that the Super Eagles were actually on the verge of elimination until
ten minutes from time. A draw would have seen the Zambian Copper Bullets
through, bookings in this case constituting the third-string tiebreaker.
Ethiopian defender Alula Girma made a clumsy late challenge on Victor Moses on
the left side of the are in the 78th and Chelski’s “magic man”
converted the spot kick with no difficulty.
Things got plainly weird five minutes later when Moses
drew a second penalty. Ethiopian keeper Sisay Bancha slide tackled the
sprinting Moses just inside the area. He was promptly sent off on double
yellows. The Antelopes couldn’t even send in their backup keeper, having
already used all three substitutions. After a five minute delay, central
midfielder Addis Hinsta donned a new jersey and slipped on the gloves. Hinsta
demonstrated he knew nothing about saving penalties by guessing the right way,
yet showing a moment’s hesitation and allowing Moses to slip in a ground
effort.
Hence, an emphatic result was achieved in the final ten
minutes of normal time. Every Championship Run requires at least one lucky
escape. The Super Eagles got themselves one here.
THE WORD (On Group C): DOWN GOES FRAZIER
Initial
Group Projection (1/18/2013)
1)
Zambia
2)
Burkina Faso
3)
Nigeria
4)
Ethiopia
Final
Group Projection (1/18/2013)
1)
Burkina Faso
2)
Nigeria
3)
Zambia
4)
Ethiopia
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings
1) Burkina Faso
2) Nigeria
3) Zambia
4) Ethiopia
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings
1) Burkina Faso
2) Nigeria
3) Zambia
4) Ethiopia
Wednesday
Algeria vs. Cote d’Ivoire
vs. 
Nothing much doing here. Both squads will test their reserves. One country is guaranteed a place in the quarterfinals while the other needs to collect its first-class plane tickets. In the case of the Desert Foxes, that means giving Ryan Boudebouz a look. With respect to Les Elephants, it means giving Drogba a last hurrah. Anyone wish to venture a guess where this is going?
THE
LINE: Cote d’Ivoire +1 Goal
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
Togo vs. Tunisia
RESULT: Algeria 2, Cote d’Ivoire 2. Lamouchi conferred
upon Drogba the royal treatment, leaving him all alone up front with
midfielders Wilifired Bony, Soloman Kalou, and Barabari Kone clearly directly
to stay back in support. Boudebouz’s trial start couldn’t have gone worse with
an early missed spot kick, abject failure to establish possession throughout
the match and ultimately a 62nd minute substitution in favor of more
reliable personnel.
Replays confirmed Ismael Traore had a paw on Dynam Zagreb
winger El Arbi Hillel Soubrani after he executed a nice turn and broke through
into the area. However, replays also confirm Soubrani’s theatrical overreaction
to the unclenched hand could have easily been designated a dive. Boudebouz
sliced a brisk penalty toward the right post. The effort turned out to be too
brisk and no significant injustice was perpetrated.
Drogba later drilled a similarly hypersonic free kick
from 25 yards out that also proved to have too much pep. Two wide efforts were
thus the only talking points as the teams shuffled inside for halftime. Bosnian
coach Vahid Halilhodzic sent in Feghouli for Boudebouz shortly after the hour
mark and the Valenica man would take a penalty for the Desert Foxes within one
minute. This time there would be no controversy as Arthur Boga flagrantly
handled an Islam Slimani cross. Feghouli finished emphatically.
Slimani would manage to work in an exquisite forward
cross for Soudani approximately seven minutes later, and the Foxes looked to
cruise to a 2-0 consolation. Drogba and Razak had other plans. In a
cross-header combo that nearly mirrored events on the other side of the pitch,
Cote d’Ivoire’s indefatigable hero pulled one back in the 77th. Bony
had Les Elephants all level four minutes later after banging one in off the
side of Djamal Mesbah’s face. Bony clearly knew nothing of the felicitous
deflection, but attributing an own goal to Mesbah would have been very harsh.
Togo vs. Tunisia
vs. 
In the dogfight for second place, my money is on Adebayor. Call it a fascination if you must, but the only true quixotic fascination a German could hold for an African football club lies many lines above. If I were to bet with my heart, I would have set a higher line for the Angolans and Mateus. No other way for a German to pronounce “Mateus” than “[Matthäus]”. Adebayor will score again here. My beloved Tottenham will miss out on the top four after his lionhearted efforts. I just know it. Call me a gypsy.
THE
LINE: Togo +1 Goal
THE
WORD (On Group D): Allah be praised
Initial
Group Projection (1/18/2013)
1)
Algeria
2) Cote
d’Ivoire
3)
Tunisia
4) Togo
Final
Group Projection (1/26/2013)
1) Cote
d’Ivoire
2)
Togo
3) Tunisia
4)
Algeria
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings
1) Cote d'Ivoire
2) Togo
3) Tunisia
4) Algeria
Editor's Retroactive Notes:
Actual Group Standings
1) Cote d'Ivoire
2) Togo
3) Tunisia
4) Algeria
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
Editor’s retroactive notes:
Editor’s retroactive notes:
RESULT: Togo 1, Tunisia 1. Tottenham Hotspur did indeed
juuust barely miss out on the Premiership’s top four (and by extension the
Champions League). Nevertheless, I don’t purport to be a seer for making that
call. Anyone can make that call. It happens every bloody year. I can maintain
pride, however, in the prediction that the Sparrow Hawks would upset Tunisia
and make the Knockout Stages, even if the line didn’t strictly hold up.
An extremely poorly officiated match appeared primed for
controversy as South African referee Daniel Bennett had a nightmare day. His
atrocious performance notwithstanding, a just result was attained. Adebayor
engineered the early opening goal with a nice bit of slice and dice that began
at the halfway mark and ended with a layoff for Serge Gapke (after the big man
drew five Tunisian defenders towards him.) Gapke allowed the ball to roll in front
of him before twisting himself for a splendid first-time hit that left the
keeper without a chance.
Bennett’s first questionable penalty call came at the
half hour mark. Amid all of the jostling in the box as the players awaited a
corner, Dare Nimbombe gave Walid Hichri a little shove in the back. The E.O.C.
Center Back unequivocally embellished matters a bit with a flailing-armed fall.
The borderline decision led to a Khaled Moulhi penalty. Togolese keeper Kossi
Agassi allowed himself to be duped by the old “stutter-step move” and we were
all level.
Traoui tried to draw another shortly after the restart
when Vincent Boussou made a jack-knife like tackle on the ball from behind, but
this time Bennett wasn’t having any of it. A match in which players start
easily going to ground generally indicates that they’ve lost respect for the
ref. Try as he might, the first official will have great difficulty regaining
control of proceedings unless he pockets the whistle. He was likely right to
allow play to proceed after Adebayor (once again in the box) stumbled all too
easily in the 58th. Still he should have absolutely given Adebayor
the benefit of the doubt in the 70th, with Tunisian keeper Ben
Cherifa not even pretending to look at the ball.
Our suddenly quiet ref spontaneously opted to insert
himself back into the match in the 78th, whistling down Nibombe
again for supposedly clipping Saber Khelifa from behind. Replays showed suspect
contact and Klinsmannesque simulation. Ugh. The Sparrow Hawks players understandably
went apeshit. Three of them received bookings for their roles in the protests
that followed.
If Jonathan Ayite, Adebayor, and Agassa accomplished
anything by slowing the match down with their legitimate grievances, they might
have iced Mouehli. The Tunisian midfielder exhibited none of the confidence he
exuded when he initially stepped up to the line in the opening half. In point
of fact he looked quite frazzled. After attempting a halfhearted emulation of
his previous stutterstep move, he chipped a weak effort off the post.
Fresh-legged substitutes Zouheir Dhaouadi and Fahkreddine
Ben Youssef produced some worthy chances in the final twelve minutes, but the
Sparrow Hawks held on for the draw that would secure their passage into the
next round. Bennett also managed to hold on to his whistle.
