Introduction—“Underachievers and the Team of Destiny”
(Brazil, Croatia, Mexico, Cameroon)
How splendid it is to have the Ultimate tournament back on
Latin American soil for the first time in 36 years! Argentina and Uruguay are
poised to shake off their recent international torpor and both will seriously
contend for their third respective World Championship. Naturally, the real
favorite are the hosts with the most, who look to claim a record SIXTH star for
their jersey.
What stands in their way? Certainly no one in this Group.
The Croats boast the most talented team on paper, but the Blazers remain in
transition with an unproven coach and a flaky plan of attack that appears
unsure of how to best utilize Mandzukic. On the topic of teams in transition,
El Tri continue to desperately struggle with their identity after sacking their
coach late in a languid qualifying campaign. We’re all ecstatic to have “Les
Indomitables” back in the tournament, but how far can they really hope to go
with a 33-year-old Samuel Eto’o and a Mohammadou Idrissou?
Truthfully the only obstacle standing between the
Brazilians and their sixth title is themselves. The requisite griping and
self-flagellation about the state of the venues sours the national mood. Then,
of course, we’ve the still burgeoning protest movements. This “mini internal
mutiny” first flared up during last summer’s dress rehearsal. Initially an
organized mass movement against a hike in bus fares, the mostly youthful
discontents then seized upon the blatantly controversial issues of how much the
ostentatious stadium upgrades were costing the government, the exclusion of
local merchants/vendors from proximity zones, and the militant “police-state”
security apparatus that accompanies modern football wherever it goes. (i.e. all
the usual stuff)
Another easy target to latch on to concerns FIFA’s
undeniably wicked financial practices. Let it be known that the sport’s
governing body does indeed force host nations to dole out exorbitant sums of
money and exerts draconian political pressure on host governments to meet its
standards and deadlines. At the end of the day, FIFA packs up 100 percent of
the profits for itself and strands the host country with gleaming
state-of-the-art stadiums that will take generations to pay off. All of this is
unequivocally true.
Having made my feelings known last summer, I should once
again reiterate that I consider these legitimate grievances. Nevertheless, I
find the tone of the movement to be myopic and disrespectful of history.
Brazil’s emerging economy is pulling throngs of citizens out of poverty at
statistical levels not seen anywhere else in the world. I’d dust off some of my
Shadow Scholar work to prove this to you,…but I’m on vacation. : ) Suffice to
say that Brazil is the only economy other than China to beat the 2008 global
recession. GDP did contract, but bounced back quickly. Moreover, social welfare
programs like the “Bolsa Familia Initiative” continue to set the global
standard for large-scale poverty reduction efforts. As more data becomes
available, it’s highly likely that the Brazilian Model will be the basis of our
drive to eradicate indigence over the next century.
Modern Brazil is a resource-rich free democratic society under (mostly) capable leadership. Nothing’s perfect, but the younger generation should definitely be more appreciative. Below you’ll find my response to a self-righteous (yet still meritorious) e-mail from last summer’s festivities. To this one might add that if the youngster of Brazil wish to truly know what life was like under an oppressive dictatorship…they can simply ask their parents.
I now consider the matter closed and would very much like
to relax with some football.
From
“CC 2013—Semifinals”
E-mail Riff of the Day
(Female)
Reader: Instead of counting “Hot Girls”, why don’t you address the Brazilian
Protests?
Vicey: It would be my great pleasure ; ). Don’t let my
love of the puerile fool you. I’m actually an entirely too well read individual
who wastes an inordinate amount of time reading newspapers. I keep myself
über-informed, much to the detriment of anything resembling a social life. Not
only am I aware of Latin American Political Activists, I make it my business to
write about them:
From “WBC 2013: Round Four”:
--One
piece of writing I can link to is the fascinating vlog of Chilean activist
Camila Vallejo. Here’s a Guardian article that will take you all the way to the
Promised Land:
Yes,
I’m attracted to her. That doesn’t mean she’s not a genius!
Your friendly bookie obstinately refuses to be a shallow
individual, no matter the costs may be ; ) While we’re all engaged in the
frivolous exercise of watching football, everyone should pay heed to the
legitimate grievances of those in lands that lack social justice. You may point
out that the U.S. also lags behind when it comes to “Social Justice”, but
that’s nothing more than a moot point. Whatever tribulations you face, it
doesn’t compare to the challenges a full third of the world must deal with.
Poverty sucks. I can attest to that. Nevertheless, “abject poverty” sucks even
more. Imagine not knowing when your next meal will come.
The people of Brazil rise up in reasonable and rational
opposition to policies that affect their daily lives. The movement began as a
simple gathering of voices opposed to an increase in transit fees. Confronted
with the opulence of the Confederations Cup, ordinary citizens understandably
wondered why all of these ornate new stadiums were being erected directly in
their faces. The World Cup may bring a hoard of tourism dollars, but will the
money be adequately re-distributed?
Brazilians have had to put up with far too much wasteful
nonsense. After Lula’s departure, the Rousseff administration has been plagued
by one scandal after another. The manner in which corrupt government officials
aggrandize and enrich themselves constitutes a personal affront to all those
who seeking to make a living in an unfair society. Rousseff herself is a former
Guerilla Commander who spent years in prison fighting for the same rights that
the protesters currently reach for.
The moral of the whole sordid tale is as follows: Life
remains unfair. My Syndicate Members know this. The key is to remain humble,
even in the face of improbable success When Rouseff addressed the nation; she
reminded everyone that peaceful protests were completely acceptable. She also
promised to invest all of the World Cup income in the “Bolsa Familia Program”.
Time will tell if that promise will be fulfilled, but the words sounded sincere
in any case. Brasilia my full permission (as if that means anything) to rise up
in protest just as the South Africans did in 2010 and 2013. It’s not cool to
have people celebrate a manufactured carnival on your doorstep ;)
Sorry to be the arrogant Westerner seeking escape from
his First World Problems. I just love football. Love your movement too….
The Matter is now closed. FOOTBALL TIME!
Brazil—“A
Selecao”
“Big Phil” has made his selection, and he showed a great
deal of faith in his men by finalizing his 23-man squad a full seven weeks
before the tournament. The immediate reaction among us armchair football
enthusiasts was that he had assembled a team strewn with question marks. Having
had an uncommonly long period of time to ponder these questions, it now seems
as if the “Big Dog” has all the answers. At least he better have them all. Otherwise it’s
back to Uzbekistan for good. ; )
Very few surprises at the back, where Scolari is expected to
maintain the same back four that won him the Confederations Cup last summer.
Marcelo just capped another brilliant year for Real Madrid with a scintillating
goal in the Champion’s League final. Thiago Silva has proven himself
comfortable wearing the captain’s armband, and delivered another fantastic year
for PSG. David Luiz will soon be joining him at the Paris Superclub after
earning a record breaking 50 Million Euro transfer fee. He’s hot. Barça’s Danny
Alves rounds at the defense at left back. The strength of this defensive corps
is exemplified by the fact that genuine stars like Dante, Maicon, and Maxwell
can only serve as backups.
If anyone is wondering where Kaka and Luis Fabiano are,
they’re well past their prime. Chelsea wunderkind Oscar (the next Kaka) has a secure place in
the Big Dog’s midfield. One may say the same about VfL Wolfsburg’s Luiz
Gustavo. The final slot in the 4-3-3 formation appears to be up for grabs. The
safe money appears to be on Oscar’s teammate at the bridge, Ramires. Paulinho
isn’t out of the running, however, following a spectacular comeback season at
White Hart Lane. Man City central midfielder Fernandinho has been called up. 21-year-old
Shaktar Donetsk phenom Bernard also contends.
While debate plagues the midfield, there’s no controversy
surrounding the trio to be deployed up front. The future greatest world
footballer ever --Neymar--will start on the left. Target man Fred will be
positioned centrally and Hulk will take the right. This bookie once remarked
that Fred and Hulk were to old and slow to form part of a menacing trident
attack. He was proven thoroughly wrong during last summer’s tournament. The
Noble & Mobile Neymar elevates the play of all those around him. Moreover,
in the event that one of them has an off night, Scolari can always insert Jo as
a strategic substitute. He netted three goals in that capacity last go-around.
Have fun with your “Merkel Moment”, Dilma!
If you wish to bet on Brazil winning it all, you’d better
place a wager early. That line will close quickly!!
Projecting
the Brazilian Lineup (4-3-3)
Fred
|
Neymar
Hulk
|
Ramires Oscar
|
Luiz Gustavo
|
Marcelo David Luiz Thiago Silva Danny Alves
|
Julio Cesar
|
The
Talisman—Neymar Jr. 
“A
Syndicate Classic—Brazil”
From “CC 2013—Syndicate: Judgment Play”:
Vicey Presents……… “The All-Ugly Team 2013”
BACK BY POPULAR DEMAND!!!
One of last year’s most beloved segments returns! How
could your friendly bookie refuse? Before this blog goes entirely too
alpha-male during the Women’s Championship, it’s time for some stern words
amongst us males. The Vicey from 2012 can elucidate what amounts to a
“Fellowship of Masculinity” far better than I can. Take it away brother:
“Yes,
I’m secure enough in my sexuality to comfortably assess whether or not I think
another man is handsome. No, I do not feel like ranking them as I do hot girls
or Female football players. No fun in that exercise. I would like to extend the
offer to one of my three female readers or perhaps one of the two flaming ones.
If you feel like undertaking such a task, your contribution will be valued
at…let’s say a $15 betting credit. Have fun and join the fun. It’s just another
thing you can do to distract yourself from your inescapable exit from this
world of color and consciousness to an eternity of dark nothingness. It’ll be a
real mood brightener.
On my
end, I’ll take care of the guys in desperate need of a man-to-man
confrontation. I feel compelled to do so after seeing the 342,873rd
European metrosexual hipster in skin-tight jeans walked past my desk sporting
masterfully retarded gelled hair. It’s fucking Jersey Shore Babylon over here.
What the situationing-snooki-ing fuck is wrong with you stupid motherfuckers?
Someone seriously needs to sit you down and remind you that you possess a pair
of testicles. Lose the goddamn hair-gel fop! I’m frankly tired of walking off
with the women that were freaked out by your hideous fucking stalagmites. Most
of you won’t even have any hair after a few years. Treat it better than this. I
acknowledge that I too was once young, vain, and incurably dumb. Dismayed at
the gradual darkening of my once platinum blonde hair, I had it highlighted a
few times and even fully dyed once or twice. Then one day I awoke to the
realization that I was not, in fact, endowed with a vaginal cavity. Time to man
up, mates. Football players especially…”
Got That? WE ARE MEN! Men do not have “hair care needs”!
Men do not have “skin care needs” WE ARE MEN! WE ARE MEN! Enough of this
metrosexual madness!! Whether you’re gay, straight, or bi-confused MAN UP!!
“All Ugly Team” Candidates—Brazil
Neymar da Silva Santos Jr. (“Neymar”)
I don’t give a shit if nothing can stop you from maturing
into the greatest footballer of all time! Someone should stop you from spiking
up your hair like a goddamned Goomba. Break the goddamned mirror in your
dressing quarters! To hell with the repairs!
Rever Humberto Alves Araujo (“Reves”)
As a proud “uncut” man, I maintain a certain amount of
pride in the state of my endowment. However, I see no reason to style my hair
to reflect as such. It’s a bad idea to leave the house looking like an
uncircumcised penis.
Luiz Gustavo Dias (“Luis Gustavo”)
What is this? Why does every man suddenly feel the need
to act as if they’ve enlisted in the German Imperial Infantry?
Croatia—“The
Blazers”
Some of my recent profanity-laced diatribes notwithstanding,
the Blazers are very much welcome. The Croats (or “The Tablecloths” as I’ve
often affectionately dubbed them) have been an interesting part of every major
Syndicate with the exception of the 2010 World Cup. They supplied us with
memorable matches in 2002, 2004, 2006, and 2012. They punched through to the
quarterfinals in Euro 2008, by far their most successful campaign.
If only the poorly behaved fans hadn’t ruined the otherwise
jovial atmosphere in 2006 by lighting flares in the stands or throwing such
flares onto the pitch in 2012. Then I wouldn’t have felt compelled to write
such words as “Suspend them. Kick them out. Make them ineligible for 2014 and
beyond”. Tsk, tsk. As regrettably vile as some of my comments might have been,
they were written in a fully justified fit of rage. Don’t disturb the peace,
football fans!! We’re all here to simply watch a game!
In terms of the actual words written, I’ll give you want you
want later on. For now let’s discuss this teams prospects. A six-year era came
to a close after Euro 2012 when the highly competent Slaven Billic departed and
the HNS underwent a full executive housecleaning. New president Davor Suker has
already cycled through one coach. His initial appointment, Igor Stimac,
tendered his resignation after the Blazers failed to qualify outright for the
World Cup. Former national team star Niko Kovac was handed the reigns and he was
successful in eking out an unconvincing victory against Iceland in the
two-legged playoffs.
Kovac retains plenty of tools at his disposal, arguably many
more than Billic had in 2012. Mandzukic, Modric, and Rakitic have all improved
greatly over the course of the past two years. Still, Everyone’s left guessing
as to whether or he’ll be able to make good use of weapons. Projecting a lineup
was difficult enough before we learned that Strinic, Kranjcar, and Olic would
have to withdraw because of injury. Some trades predict a 4-3-3 with Persic and
Kovacic on the flanks. Others foresee a 4-4-1-1 with Kovacic in the anchoring
role. Still others prognosticate a 4-2-3-1 with Rakitic and Modric hanging
back. All we truly know for certain is that the Superstriker Mario Mandzukic
will be deployed alone up front. Kovac must devise some way of supplying his
lynchpin with ample support.
VfL Wolfsburg midfielder Ivan Perisic can be deployed just
about anywhere. He often plays winger for the VWers, but can serve as a central
midfielder as well. The former Dortmund international comes off a highly
productive year that featured 11 goals and 7 assists. Replacing Olic will prove
difficult, but Kovac should be able to remedy the situation by either dusting
off Eduardo or tasking the streaking Jelavic with playing directly behind
“Marvelous Mario”. New face Mateo Kovacic has been recently promoted from the
U-21 team, but has yet to realize his full potential. He hasn’t scored yet for
either Croat National team or his new club Inter Milan. Rest assured we will
hear from him soon enough. This tournament may very serve as his coming out
party.
Two strong defensive midfielders should allow the Blazers to
dictate the pace and flow of the game. Since moving to Real Madrid, Luka Modric
has justified his 30 million Euro transfer fee with excellent range, superb
technical ability on the ball, and disciplined positioning. He makes for a gem
of a “flight director”. Starting alongside Modric will be Ivan Rakitic, coming
off his best season ever playing for Sevilla in La Liga. The somewhat younger
Rakitic is more adventurous in his positioning, but almost always hustles back
to his place when circumstances call for it. This pair appears made for one
another.
Issues at the back eventually sunk the Blazers in Euro 2012.
Things look a bit brighter this time. Dejan Lovren has recovered from injury
and revitalized his career with Southampton in the Premiership. Vedran Corluka
has finally found a home/regular starting spot at Lokomotiv Moscow. Captain
Darijo Srna and fullback Daniel Pranjic are in better form. 35-year-old keeper
Stipe Pletikosa is still in semi-retirement with FC Rostov, but he’s reliable
enough.
By all means, the Blazers should be projected to place
second in the group. They face a significant challenge, however, from the
nearly equally as talented Mexicans.
Projecting
the Croatian Lineup (4-2-3-1)
Mario Mandzukic
|
Mateo Kovacic Nika Jelavic
Ivan Perisic
|
Ivan Rakitic Luca Modric
|
Daniel Prnajic
Dario Srna
|
Dejan Lovren
Verdran Corluka
|
Stipe Pletikosa
|
The
Talisman—Mario Mandzukic 
When we last encountered Mandzukic two years ago he
was a more of a bit player on the national team, projected to warm the bench
behind more experienced strikers Eduardo and Jelavic. Then trainer Slaven
Billic saw things differently. Inspired by his monster 2011-2012 season at VfL
Wolfsburg, the crafty coach started him alongside Jelavic in the opening match
against Ireland. The gamble worked. Marvelous Mario grabbed a brace and hasn’t
slowed down since. He scored again in the next match and German superclub FC
Bayern hauled him to replace their previous “Super Mario”, then out
indefinitely after ankle surgery. Mandzukic was an instrumental part of
Bayern’s historic 2013 Triple Crown. He’s scored another 26 goals this season,
18 in the league.
The Bundesliga’s second leading scorer will miss the first
match against Brazil, something of a moot point considering the Blazers weren’t
expected to contest that one anyway. Still, the knockout round prospects of
this team depend entirely on how their talisman performs in the subsequent two
group stage matches. Can he reproduce form like this?
“A
Syndicate Classic—Croatia”
From EM 2012—“Syndicate Resurrection”:
Croat
Fans
It
should come as a surprise to no one that Blazer fans like to light things on
fire. The torch of choice for the Beavi of Europe remains a protracted road
flare, though some of the tamer ones will settle for cigarette lighters,
candles, or smartphone apps. Put another way, some are violent, others are
romantics. There doesn’t seem to be much of a middle ground. Ideally one wants
to locate an intimate, moodily lit little hovel that serves wine rather than
beer. I once watched a qualifying match in such a place in Berlin. After the
Blazers scored, the fans turned the cozy gathering into something reminiscent
of a Peter Gabriel concert. No, I’m not ashamed to admit that I once spent my
own money to go see Peter Gabriel live…alone. He kept us waiting for nearly an
hour and finally trudged on stage with a tailor made line that forced us all to
forgive him immediately. “Sorry I was running a little late tonight. On the way
here…..something got in the way……..STEAM!”
…and later on:
9)
Croatia
Want
to know what I think of the Croats, do you? Well, I could spare myself some
hatemail while simultaneously mercifully shielding those who don’t follow the
Dailies. Or I could do this:
From
the Day Seven Recap:
Fuck
you, you puerile tablecloth-clad fucktards. You’re useless. You Slavic sacks of
shit! Nothing more than an embarrassment to football, yourselves, and the human
race in general. Cart your smelly Slavic arses the hell out of this EM. You can
get the fuck out of NATO, the UN, and any other civilized inter-governmental
organization while you’re at it. Fuck your EU-Membership bid. You make the
Greeks look responsible. You want to behave like a bunch of disorderly
children? Do it in own shitty,
squalid, foul, and detestable homeland. You were guests of the Poles this week,
just as you were guests of the Germans in 2006. Still you continue to throw
your burning road flares onto the pitch. Do you also take a steaming shit on
someone’s dinner table when they invite you over and cook for you? Wouldn’t put
it past such detestable, disgusting savages such as yourselves.
What
the Slav-stenching fuck is wrong with you morons? You ignore the appeals of
your own players. You deny them an offensive counter as they disappeared into
the smoke. You hold on to a ball shot into the stands, further depriving your
boys of a chance to score a go-ahead goal. No more, Mr. Nice Kraut. You want
road flares? I’m going to “invite” myself over to your country to burn every
last one of your shitty hovels to the ground.
Mexico—“El
Tri”
After sending a nation of roughly 120 million into
convulsions, La Verde somehow managed to pull it together at the last minute
and claimed their rightful place in Brazil. Emergency replacement coach Miguel
Herrera did not implement any drastic strategic overhauls, but his mere
presence spurred this attacking-oriented side to score nine goals in a two-legged
intercontinental playoff against the Kiwis.
Whew. A Nation exhales. Difficult to fathom why this squad
struggled so mightily given the plethora of natural strikers they have. Javier
Hernandez (Chicharito) and Giovanni dos Santos had excellent years for their
respective clubs. Oribe Peralta and Raul Jimenez still know how to score goals,
and can be either subbed in as forwards or started as holding midfielders. All
of this makes for a promising forecast, provided that Peralta or Jiminez can
adequately supplant Juan Carlos Medina in the team’s preferred 5-3-2 and that
Leon (Mexican League) teammates Luis Montes and Carlos Pena can keep up their
fine run of cooperation on the flanks.
We run into problems at the back, just like last summer.
It’s hard to see this team getting enough balls upfield with fullbacks like
Miguel Layun or Andres Guardado. Herrera may do well to start Paul Aguilar in
Guardado’s place or maybe even move Hector Moreno out wide. The literally
ancient centerbacks, Rafael Marquez (35-years-old) and Francisco Javier
Rodriguez (32-years-old) continue to be beleaguered by injury and declining
form. Herrera has quite the bit of tinkering to engage in. Expect a lot of
discussion over his selections in the coming weeks.
Projecting
the Mexican Lineup (5-3-2)
Giovanni dos
Santos
Chicharito
|
Oribe Peralta
|
Luis Montes
Carlos Pena
|
Miguel
Layun
Andres Guardado
|
Hector Moreno
R. Marquez F.J. Rodriguez
|
Guillermo Ochoa
|
The
Talisman—Javier Hernandez (Chicharito) 
He not be the prominent player at Old Trafford, but he can
dazzle: "A Syndicate Classic: Mexico"
From WMQ 2013—“Der Wille zum Syndikat”:
Whilst
watching Eddie Johnson and Landon Donovan double up on the snake-bit El Tri, I
recall worrying for the safety of Jose Manuel del La Torre. After that
shitshorm, the poor bastard desperately needed to apply for asylum in the U.S.
In essence, he did just that, remaining in Columbus for another two days until
his long-awaiting sacking was officially announced. Unless someone can send me
a report to the contrary, I’ll assume he hasn’t set foot in Mexico since.
Into
the breach steps Primera stalwart Victor Manuel Vucetich. Can he resuscitate
the qualifying hopes of the once-proud Aztec warriors? Prospects look
surprisingly bright. Surely a team that features Giovanni dos Santos, Javier
Hernandez, and Gerrardo Torrado can eke out victories against Panama and Costa
Rica. In the event that six points elude the “jolly upstarts”, four or even
three points should suffice in securing an intercontinental playoff spot.
Cameroon—“The
Indomitable Lions”
The Renaissance rolls on for one of my favorite West African
mainstays. After a disastrous 2010 World Cup in South Africa, Les Indomitables
went into hiding, failing to qualify for both the 2012 and 2013 African Cup of
Nations. They now appear for their third World Cup of the Syndicate
Years…coached by their third German manager of the Syndicate years.
I honestly don’t know why this country keeps hiring mediocre
coaches from Southwest Germany. What are all of these Krauts doing in a
territory that hasn’t been German for nearly one hundred years? One would like
to say that they’ve finally got it right with the “Freiburg Fürst” Volker
Finke. Nevertheless, this pattern is just plain weird.
Les Indomitables won the 2002 African Cup of Nations and
qualified for the 2002 World Cup under the auspices of former KSC coach Winifred
Schäfer. Schäfer’s tenure lasted four years. After he failed to lead them out
of the group and failed to defend their CAN Title, the FCF cycled through three
coaches in three years before turning to Otto “Iron” Pfister. (Something
seemingly every African country has done). Pfister held the reigns for two
years, bringing the country within a hair of claiming the continental
championship in 2008. After his resignation in 2009, the FCF again couldn’t
find a stable coach. Five more trainers assumed the helm over four years before
picking up Finke.
Finke is widely regarded as a good coach. He kept SC
Freiburg in the Bundesliga for the better part of 16 years. His players were so
heartbroken over his departure that they wore special T-Shirts pleading with
him to stay during his final season in 2007. He was later successful in Japan.
One still prefers to see African coaches in charge of African teams. One winces
at all the French coaches put in charge of Cote d’Ivoire or Portuguese charged
with leading Angola, usw. It’s much more refreshing to see the Black Stars
thrive under James Kwesi Appiah or the Super Eagles take Africa under Keshi.
Where are all the African coaches?
Okay. I’ve made that point. Let’s move on. Plenty of Star
Power in Finke’s Kader. Samuel Eto’o is back in the Premiership after a
three-year sojourn in Russia. He’s nowhere near the player he once was when
competing for Barça or Inter Milan, but still has plenty of life left. Eto’o
will be most likely be flanked by Vincent Aboubakar and Eric Maxim
Chuopo-Moting. The former stars for Lorient in the French League while the
latter starts regularly at FSV Mainz 05. Other big-name attackers include
Pierre Webo and Eyong Enoh, both of the Turkish league.
Regulating flow in the midfield will mostly fall to former
Arsenal man Alex Song. He’s done well since moving to the Camp NU, although he
doesn’t get as much playing time. The known names on defense are QPR’s Benoit
Assou-Ekotto and Marseille’s Nicolas N’Koulou. It’s unclear as of this writing
whether Schalke phenom Joel Matip fits into the mix, but he’d back a fine
addition to the back line.
Les Indomitables will certainly supply us with some
entertaining football, but even this highly biased African enthusiast can’t see
them getting out of the group.
Projecting
the Cameroonian Lineup (4-3-3)
Samuel Eto’o
|
Vincent Aboubacar Eric Maxim Choupo-Moting
|
Stephane
Mbia
Jean Makoun
|
Alex Song
|
B. Assou-Ekkotto A. Chedjou N. N’Koulou D. Nounkeu
|
Charles Itanje
|
The
Talisman—Alex Song 
Gunners fans have been delighting in this überfootballer's
sublime skill for over six years. Here’s a taste: “A
Syndicate Classic—Cameroon”
From WM 2002—“The Humble Beginnings of A Syndicate”
Cameroon
Africa’s
best football club joins us once again. Of all the Dark Continent sides in this
tournament, I reserve the highest hopes for the “Indomitable Lions”. They play
gorgeous football and are rumored to be poised for a semi-final run with this
crew. Fronting the team is former Karlsruher SC trainer Winifred Schäfer, who
I’m told pulled off a masterful job casting a European wide scouting net. He’s
collected a group of top pros all at the pinnacle of their form. This team
should prove a treat to watch.
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
Kerrrsplat.
What a flop this team turned out to be, in both this and subsequent years, I’ve
lost more money on Cameroon than any other African Nation. Apropos lost money,
where exactly did this amateur football fan and inaugural bookie get all of his
“inside information” from? The entire piece is rife with tacit allusions
suggesting I had been conferring with experts in modestly lit betting parlors.
Well…I did study a bit and can recall trying to read up. The inception of this
particular “tip” was a drunken hobo I ran into in a Karlsruhe Park. Oh, yes. I
knew what I was doing! Presumably the only lesson one can glean from this
pertains to the fact that it may be ill-advised to buttress analysis based on
the slurred opinions of an unkempt and foul smelling vodka-sot in a Karlsruhe
park…but I’m simply not prepared to go that far yet. In a post housing-bubble
economy, I’d sooner trust a Penner to help me diversify my stock
portfolio.
Vicey’s
Fearless Group Prediction (2 to 1 Odds for bookie)
1)
Brazil
2)
Croatia
3)
Mexico
4)
Cameroon
Overall
Championship Odds
Brazil
(Straight up) Croatia
(6 to 1) Mexico
(6 to 1) Cameroon
(10 to 1)
Round
of 16 Odds
Brazil
(NO BETS) Croatia
(Straight up) Mexico
(Straight up) Cameroon
(2 to 1)
Quarterfinal
Odds
Brazil
(NO BETS) Croatia
(Straight up) Mexico
(2 to 1) Cameroon
(3 to 1)
Semifinal
Odds
Brazil
(NO BETS) Croatia
(2 to 1) Mexico
(4 to 1) Cameroon
(8 to 1)
