Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Das Bier”
Only at Karlsruhe’s
“Das Fest” can one buy beer bottles labeled “Das Bier”. Your friendly bookie
does not often drink beer…but when he does, he prefers “Das Bier”. May we all
meet again together under cerulean Southern German Skies. Bleib durstig,
Kumpels!
Day 18: Recap
Record—
Spread: 16-30
Straight up: 23-14-9
Hot
Girl Standings
|
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
|
Spain
|
45
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Poland
|
44
|
5 (finished)
|
|
France
|
42
|
4
|
|
Wales
|
38
|
5
|
|
Iceland
|
36
|
4
|
|
Republic of Ireland
|
35
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Italy
|
34
|
4
|
|
Croatia
|
33
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Belgium
|
32
|
5 (finished)
|
|
Switzerland
|
31
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Germany
|
30
|
4
|
|
Northern Ireland
|
28
|
4 (finished)
|
|
England
|
26
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Slovakia
|
25
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Hungary
|
24
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Turkey
|
24
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Albania
|
23
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Portugal
|
22
|
5
|
|
Romania
|
21
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Austria
|
19
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Sweden
|
18
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Russia
|
16
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Czech Republic
|
16
|
3 (finished)
|
|
The Ukraine
|
11
|
3 (finished)
|
Dazzling Dragons! Magnificent job interjecting some
lionheartedness back into this tournament. Your friendly bookie honestly
doesn’t care how much money he lost today. All of his winnings will be spent on
Schwag Packs anyway ; ) At long last we’re privy to a “Giant Slayer Story”
worthy of the Premiership Season we’ve all just witnessed. Iceland’s improbable
run simply didn’t fit the bill. They scalped a congenital underachieving
England side that we all expected the axe to fall on. We all needed a day like
today; a match to remind us how little the FIFA Rankings matter and how loudly
the European Heart can beat.
Well done, Welshies. ; ) If there was one U.K. Realm that
deserved to make history, it’s the province that sings “Land of my Fathers”
before every match. As hard as I’ve tried to avoid re-posting during this
tournament, we need to re-hash my thoughts after the 3-0 defeat of Russia:
From EM 2016—Day Eleven Recap:
Nice little piece of razzle-dazzle from
the Gaelic Guys today. Arsenal’s Aaron Ramsey with the composed flick over. A
cool blast from Swansea Star Neil Taylor to. Incredible left-footed toe-poke
from “Last-Samurai-Master Man-Bun” Gareth Bale to finish it off. Fantastic
football from the team we always wished would qualify for one of these
chapters. They just out-performed their Evil English overlords to top the
group! Eight hundred years of repressed Arthurian magic! That’s how we pull the
sword out of the stone, lads! Charles Windsor may now officially be dubbed “The
Prince of Second Place”.
Beautiful rendition of “Land of my
Fathers” from all the faithful in the stands. It brought a tear to your
friendly bookie’s eye. That’s what football is all about. Fans should be
singing in brotherhood and harmony. What’s with all the stupid fucking flare
lighting?
Arthurian Magic, indeed. Football history buffs know full
well that the Cyds haven’t made it this far since Jimmy Young heroically
coached both them and the Original “Busby Babes” to improbable finishes against
incredible odds back in 1958.
Sing “Land of my Fathers” all night long. Sing well into the
wee hours of the morning.
SING!
SING!
It's all about...HEART!!!
SING!
Let's break it down.
Belgium—Match
Five—PROJECTED (4-2-1-3) |
Romelu Lukaku
|
|
Eden Hazard Dries Mertens
|
|
Kevin De Bruyne
|
|
Axel Witsel R. Nainggolan
|
|
J. Vertonghen J.
Lukaku T. Alderweireld T. Meunier
|
|
Thibault Courtois
|
Belgium—Match
Five—ACTUAL (4-2-3-1) |
Romelu Lukaku
|
|
Eden Hazard
Kevin De Bruyne Yannick
Carrasco
|
|
Axel Witsel R. Nainggolan
|
|
Jordan Lukaku Thomas Meunier
|
|
Jason Denayer Toby Alderwerield
|
|
Thibault Courtois
|
Vertongen’s injury
really did screw everything up. Jordan Lukaku never looked comfortable on the
wing. Hazard belonged alongside Romelu. Denayer blew it and we saw precious
little from Carrasco. You guys have little cause to hate me for temporarily
freezing betting.
Wales—Match
Five—PROJECTED—(5-3-2) |
Gareth Bale
Sam Vokes
|
|
Neil Taylor Robson-Kanu
|
|
Aaron Ramsey
|
|
Ben Davies Joe Ledley
|
|
James Chester Joe Allen
Chris Gunter
|
|
Wayne Hennessey
|
Wales—Match
Five—ACTUAL—(3-5-2) |
Gareth Bale
Robson-Kanu
|
|
Chris Gunther Neil Taylor
|
|
Aaron Ramsey Joe Allen
|
|
Joe Ledley
|
|
Ben Davies Ashley
Williams James Chester
|
|
Wayne Hennessey
|
Consider the script flipped. Inspired moves from Chris
Coleman. He put Gunther up front, switched Chester, placed Taylor on the
opposite side, paired Allen with Ramsey, used Vokes as a “Super Sub”, and let
Ledley direct the flow.
Of course, the valiant recovery of Ashley Williams proved
the most important factor in the unexpected result. Did not expect to see him
this match. The Swansea City captain fought off his injury just in time to be
the gallant knight. Emphatic header. Excellent job, mate ; ) He carried the
Jacks of Swansea to the Premiership. Why not carry the national side on your
shoulders too?
Time to file.
GRADES—Belgium
(Match Five) |
Marouane Fellaini
|
A
|
|
Romelu Lukaku
|
A
|
|
Radja Nainggolan
|
A
|
|
Thibault Courtois
|
A
|
|
Dries Mertens
|
A-
|
|
Kevin De Bruyne
|
B+
|
|
Eden Hazard
|
B
|
|
Axel Witsel
|
B-
|
|
Jason Denayer
|
C+
|
|
Thomas Meunier
|
C
|
|
Yannick Carrasco
|
D+
|
|
Jordan Lukaku
|
D
|
|
Toby Alderweireld
|
F
|
Spurs better hope that Alderweireld will recover in time for
next season. ; )
GRADES—Wales
(Match Five) |
Hal Robson-Kanu
|
A+
|
|
Ashley Williams
|
A+
|
|
Wayne Hennessey
|
A+
|
|
Sam Vokes
|
A+
|
|
Chris Gunther
|
A
|
|
Joe Ledley
|
A-
|
|
Neil Taylor
|
A-
|
|
Aaron Ramsey
|
B+
|
|
Joe Allen
|
B-
|
|
Gareth Bale
|
B
|
|
James Chester
|
B
|
|
Ben Davies
|
B-
|
|
Andy King
|
C+
|
That’s the way we do it, Welshies ; )
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Eighteen
Reader:
Where is the “All Ugly Team”?
Vicey:
A fair question, 113-M. I know that you submitted this question weeks ago, and
I apologize for the delayed response. The
entire analytical thrust of the “All Ugly Team” was rendered moot once I
attempted to take a quick look at this year’s crop of footballers.
Today’s
match finally affords me the chance to respond to your query. Radja Nainggolan
scored a cracker of a goal…but he’s still a hopelessly ugly piece-of-‘pay
attention to me’-shit. He attempted to dive twice today. The stupidity of youth
; ( Nainggolan captain’s the “All-Ugly-Team”. No one will manage to be as ugly
as him. Enjoy the rest of your Summer, “Ugly Loser” ; )
DAY NINETEEN—PREVIEW
Deutschland vs. Italy
vs. 
Deep breaths are in order. Your friendly bookie still feels
confident, and the line holds.
THE
LINE: Die Nationalmannschaft +2 Goals (holding)
