Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Das Bier”
Only at Karlsruhe’s
“Das Fest” can one buy beer bottles labeled “Das Bier”. Your friendly bookie
does not often drink beer…but when he does, he prefers “Das Bier”. May we all
meet again together under cerulean Southern German Skies. Bleib durstig,
Kumpels!
Day 8: Recap
Record—
Spread: 5-16
Straight up: 8-7-6
Hot
Girl Standings
|
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
|
France
|
26
|
2
|
|
Spain
|
20
|
2
|
|
Switzerland
|
19
|
2
|
|
Germany
|
19
|
2
|
|
Poland
|
18
|
2
|
|
Albania
|
18
|
2
|
|
Wales
|
18
|
2
|
|
Italy
|
16
|
2
|
|
Romania
|
15
|
2
|
|
England
|
13
|
2
|
|
Turkey
|
13
|
2
|
|
Russia
|
12
|
2
|
|
Sweden
|
12
|
2
|
|
Czech Republic
|
12
|
2
|
|
Slovakia
|
11
|
2
|
|
Northern Ireland
|
10
|
2
|
|
Austria
|
8
|
1
|
|
The Ukraine
|
7
|
2
|
|
Republic of Ireland
|
6
|
1
|
|
Croatia
|
5
|
2
|
|
Portugal
|
4
|
1
|
|
Iceland
|
4
|
1
|
|
Hungary
|
3
|
1
|
|
Belgium
|
3
|
1
|
Lot’s of football to cover, brothers. Now that your friendly
bookie finds himself back on the saddle..with his trademark “saddlebags”
forming underneath his eyes, let’s continue to “draw it up” for three
countries.
Indeed we shall put America First, Yank bettors ; ) In
typing those words in that particular order, I feel as if I should earn a
living as an over-paid political consultant, sitting in my office composing
meaningless platitudes all day.
Here’s how the lineups looked:
LINEUP—USA
(Match One)—4-3-3 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
|
F. Johnson J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D. Yedlin
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Two)—4-3-2-1 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
|
Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
F. Johnson
J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D.
Yedlin
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Three)—4-3-3 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Jermaine Jones Alejandro
Bedoya
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
|
F. Johnson
J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D.
Yedlin
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Four)—4-4-2 |
Clint Dempsey Bobby Wood
|
|
Gyasi Zardes Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
Michael
Bradley Jermaine Jones
|
|
Matt Besler Fabian Johnson
|
|
J.A. Brooks G. Cameron
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
It looked as if Wood had been given the directive to play
alongside Dempsey. Zardes and Fabian Johnson flipped flanks to compensate for
the loss of Yedlin on the left. It seemed like Bradley and Jones got deputized
to anchor midfield with Bedoya pushed up front. The Cross from Jones to set up
Dempsey was glorious, though not as much as Dempsey’s finish. The Elder
Statesmen continued with that perfect set up for Zardes in the 65th.
Plenty of praise for the defensive corps. Nevertheless, the
Ecuadorian onslaught in the final 20 minutes of the match mean their grades are
down a tick. Ten men or no, there’s no excuse for some of the lapses we
witnessed.
Grades filed.
GRADES—USA
(Match One) |
Michael Bradley
|
A
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
A
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
A
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
A-
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
B+
|
|
John Anthony Brooks
|
B-
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
B-
|
|
Darlington Nagbe
|
B-
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
C+
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
C
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
C-
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
D
|
|
Christian Pulisic
|
F
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Two) |
Jermaine Jones
|
A+
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
A+
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
A+
|
|
Chris Wondolowski
|
A
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
A
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
A
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
B+
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
B
|
|
John Anthony Brooks
|
B
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
B-
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
C+
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
C+
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
C+
|
|
Kyle Beckerman
|
C+
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Three) |
John Anthony Brooks
|
A+
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
A
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
A
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
A-
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
B
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
B
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
B
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
B
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
B
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
B-
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
C+
|
|
Michael Orozco
|
D
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
F
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Four) |
Clint Dempsey
|
A+
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
A
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
A
|
|
Kyle Beckerman
|
A
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
A-
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
A-
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
B+
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
B
|
|
Matt Besler
|
B
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
C+
|
|
John Anthony Brooks
|
C+
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
C
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
D
|
Jones gets a B+ despite his red card. Perhaps he did the
National Side a prescient favor by recusing himself from the upcoming proceedings
and affording himself some rest. Grades for Fabian Johnson and John Anthony
Brooks were slightly inflated based on some spectacular individual moments.
Brooks and Cameron played well below their potential. Expect better next time.
Before getting to the Fatherland, we’ll spare some space to
your friendly bookie’s adopted Three Lions. The Syndicate may not feature a
single English Member, but we’ve still got to bang this out. My apologies to
the one Welsh and two Northern Irish brothers whom I’ll always love dearly.
Call it a fetish. It must be done.
LINEUP—England
(Match One)—4-3-3 |
Harry Kane
|
|
Raheem Sterling Adam Lallana
|
|
Wayne Rooney Dele Alli
|
|
Eric Dier
|
|
Danny Rose Gary
Cahill Chris Smalling Kyle Walker
|
|
Joe Hart
|
LINEUP—England
(Match Two)—4-3-3 |
Raheem Sterling Harry Kane Adam
Lallana
|
|
Wayne Ronney Dele Alli
|
|
Eric Dier
|
|
Danny Rose Kyle
Walker
|
|
Gary Cahill Chris Smalling
|
|
Joe Hart
|
Exact same starting eleven. Exact same formation.
Syndicate Members sometimes wonder why the spread looks so
different. Utilizing the example above, I’m occasionally asked, “Why does the
4-3-3 look like a 4-1-2-2-1?” Understand that a formation constitutes a basic
blueprint, while the spread represents the specific positioning directives that
a player has been given/decides to take. A midfielder may serve as a “Pseudo-Striker.”
A Right-Wing-Fullback may serve as a “Midfield Pusher”. A Midfielder may be
directed to hang back and serve as a “Sweeper”.
Enough of the technical talk. Your friendly bookie doesn’t
mean to induce headaches.
Let’s dole out the grades:
GRADES—England
(Match One) |
Eric Dier
|
A+
|
|
Wayne Rooney
|
A+
|
|
Dele Alli
|
A+
|
|
Harry Kane
|
A-
|
|
Adam Lallana
|
B+
|
|
Raheem Sterling
|
B
|
|
Garry Cahill
|
B
|
|
Chris Smalling
|
B
|
|
Danny Rose
|
B
|
|
Jack Wilshere
|
B-
|
|
Kyle Walker
|
B-
|
|
Joe Hart
|
C
|
GRADES—England
(Match Two) |
Jaime Vardy
|
A+
|
|
Daniel Sturridge
|
A+
|
|
Adam Lallana
|
A
|
|
Gary Cahill
|
A
|
|
Eric Dier
|
A
|
|
Marcus Rashford
|
A
|
|
Dele Alli
|
A-
|
|
Kyle Walker
|
B+
|
|
Danny Rose
|
B
|
|
Chris Smalling
|
B-
|
|
Wayne Rooney
|
B-
|
|
Raheem Sterling
|
C+
|
|
Harry Kane
|
C
|
|
Joe Hart
|
D
|
Can’t wait to see what Uncle Roy comes up with against
Slovakia. The two second-half substitutes give us some inkling of the direction
in which he’s leaning. The result today, however, virtually guarantees a place
in the Knockouts. He may choose to rest some players or experiment.
The fetish continues. ; )
Here we go, Fatherland. Grit-inducing performance.
LINEUP—Deutschland
(Match One)—4-2-3-1 |
Mario Götze
|
|
Julian Draxler Meshut Özil Thomas Müller
|
|
Toni Kroos Sami Khedira
|
|
Jonas Hector Benedikt Höwedes
|
|
Shkodran Mustafi Jerome Boateng
|
|
Manuel Neuer
|
LINEUP—Deutschland
(Match Two)—4-2-3-1 |
Mario Götze
|
|
Julian Draxler Meshut Özil Thomas Müller
|
|
Sami Khedira Toni Kroos
|
|
Jonas Hector Benedikt Höwedes
|
|
Matt Hummels
Jerome Boateng
|
|
Manuel Neuer
|
It looked like Khedira and Kroos switched sides…and it
didn’t do a damn bit of good. Solid Performance from Hummels in his return.
GRADES—Deutschland
(Match One) |
Bastian
Schweinsteiger
|
A+
|
|
Sami Khedira
|
A+
|
|
Toni Kroos
|
A
|
|
Manuel Neuer
|
A
|
|
Mario Götze
|
A
|
|
Shkrodan Mustafi
|
A
|
|
Juilan Draxler
|
B+
|
|
Benedict Höwedes
|
B
|
|
Jonas Hector
|
B
|
|
Jerome Boateng
|
B
|
|
Thomas Müller
|
B-
|
|
Meshut Özil
|
C+
|
GRADES—Deutschland (Match Two) |
Manuel Neuer
|
A
|
|
Toni Kroos
|
A
|
|
Meshut Özil
|
A
|
|
Mats Hummels
|
A
|
|
Andre Schürrle
|
A
|
|
Thomas Müller
|
B
|
|
Sami Khedira
|
B-
|
|
Jonas Hector
|
B-
|
|
Julian Draxler
|
B-
|
|
Benedikt Höwedes
|
C+
|
|
Mario Götze
|
C
|
|
Jerome Boateng
|
C-
|
|
Mario Gomez
|
F
|
Tightly contested match. A draw was a fair result. No reason
to panic. Every reason to ditch Mario Gomez unless he comes through as a “Super
Sub”.
The unaddressed fixtures need to be condensed into single
respective bullet points
--Gareth Bale’s presence needs to be mandated in every last
international tournament henceforth. Two amazingly executed set-piece goals.
He’s the man…with the “man-bun”
--Well done, Northern Ireland. That was one “hail” of a
performance. Even if the second goal was more of a lucky bundle, you cats
deserve to celebrate.
--Fucking Croats. The civilized world grows tired of you and
your fucking flares. What the stone-firing-fuck is up with you Slavic
primitives and your fucking flares? Seriously. It makes no sense. What
possesses someone privileged enough to attend a major international football
match to be the guy who suddenly thinks: “Hey…I’m gonna light something on fire
and throw it!”
“Heh…heh…heh”
Even “Beavis and Butthead” never approached such stupidity.
Meet the Croats. A whole nation of stupid fucktards with
limp one-inch penises.
Time for the re-post:
From EM 2012—Day Seven Recap:
“Ramble On, Vicey”---
--Fuck you, you puerile tablecloth-clad fucktards. You’re
useless. You Slavic sacks of shit! Nothing more than an embarrassment to
football, yourselves, and the human race in general. Cart your smelly Slavic
arses the hell out of this EM. You can get the fuck out of NATO, the UN, and
any other civilized inter-governmental organization while you’re at it. Fuck
your EU-Membership bid. You make the Greeks look responsible. You want to
behave like a bunch of disorderly children?
Do it in own shitty, squalid, foul, and detestable homeland. You were
guests of the Poles this week, just as you were guests of the Germans in 2006.
Still you continue to throw your burning road flares onto the pitch. Do you
also take a steaming shit on someone’s dinner table when they invite you over
and cook for you? Wouldn’t put it past such detestable, disgusting savages such
as yourselves. I’ve politely warned you enough times.
From the Preview Section:
“It should come as a surprise to no one
that Blazer fans like to light things on fire. The torch of choice for the
Beavi of Europe remains a protracted road flare, though some of the tamer ones
will settle for cigarette lighters, candles, or smartphone apps.”
From Round One:
“I’m afraid I cannot allow you to
advance out of this group. If I see one more of those road flares, I’m off to
Baumarkt to buy a bulk pack, hopping the next train to Zagreb, and jamming a
triplicate fistful of them directly up the anus of the first slothlike lardass
wearing a checkered pattern I run into.”
What the Slav-stenching fuck is wrong with you morons?
You ignore the appeals of your own players. You deny them an offensive counter
as they disappeared into the smoke. You hold on to a ball shot into the stands,
further depriving your boys of a chance to score a go-ahead goal. No more, Mr.
Nice Kraut. You want road flares? I’m going to “invite” myself over to your
country to burn every last one of your shitty hovels to the ground. Fuck you.
Fuck your ancestors. Fuck your country. You should be invaded on general
principle. You fuck yourselves in the ass. You piss on your own feet. FUCK
CROATIA!! NEVER JOIN US AGAIN!
--Well done, Wops. Discount win is discount. You still suck.
--La Furia Roja know how to really set fire to the pitch.
Take lessons, Croats.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Eight
Reader:
You think you can get away with a piece-of-shit post?
Vicey:
Hey…FUCK YOU! Fuck you and your mother! I won’t be so classless as to call this
Syndicate Member out by number, but I will rightfully label him a “Stoner”.
Here are my thoughts on the basic precept of “Stoner Logic”:
“Everyone Else Fails Me”
“I
sit on my ass smoking reefer every day. I carefully deliberate my own genius while
carefully thinking about ways to manipulatively blame others for my failed
station in life. I pick out every last flaw that others have and carefully cast
aspersions on them in order to protect my own laziness. My laziness must be
protected above all else.”
And
you guys wonder why I won’t touch the shit.
DAY NINE—PREVIEW
Belgium vs. Republic of Ireland
vs. 
Shocked at how little money has come in on the Irish. Many
share my sentiments about the potential of the Belgians.
THE
LINE: Belgium +1 Goal (rolling down soft from Belgium +2)
Iceland vs. Hungary
vs. 
I gave away $120 for the initial error I made in setting the
Round Two Lines. Good God. Your friendly bookie hasn’t made such a serious
error since the infamous “False Set” way back in FEM 2013. My tired eyes read
the wrong round.
That’s no excuse. Do not forgive yourself for perceived
“minor mistakes”…or so my mathematician father taught me. ; ( ; (
THE
LINE: Iceland +1 Goal (rolling up soft from a “pick”
Portugal vs. Austria
vs. 
Zero action on this line. No one knows what to expect. Fair
enough.
THE
LINE: Portugal +1 Goal (holding)
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
