Shadow Scholar Syndicate: EM 2016--Day Two Recap

Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Das Bier”

Image result for 1997 das bier das fest karlsruhe

Only at Karlsruhe’s “Das Fest” can one buy beer bottles labeled “Das Bier”. Your friendly bookie does not often drink beer…but when he does, he prefers “Das Bier”. May we all meet again together under cerulean Southern German Skies. Bleib durstig, Kumpels!

Day 2: Recap

Record—

Spread: 2-2

Straight up: 3-0-1

Hot Girl Standings

Country	Tally	Games Played
France	14	1
Switzerland	7	1
Albania	7	1
Wales	6	1
Romania	5	1
Slovakia	4	1

No stats for England and Russia as a power outage precluded your friendly bookie from even watching the match. Yeah…yeah….First world problems. ; ) Still frustrating as hell. One never fully realizes how much one relies upon technology until the electricity shorts out and one sits there in the dark at 4 a.m. feelingly oddly impotent. Fuck my life!

Can’t wait to write more on them tomorrow. Plenty to say on that performance. Plenty of riffs, too ; )

Time to draw it up for the U.S. Fans. Here’s how the three match lineups looked to your friendly bookie.

LINEUP—USA (Match One)—4-3-3

Clint Dempsey

Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes

Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya

Michael Bradley

F. Johnson J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D. Yedlin

Brad Guzan

LINEUP—USA (Match Two)—4-3-2-1

Clint Dempsey

Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes

Michael Bradley

Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya

F. Johnson J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D. Yedlin

Brad Guzan

LINEUP—USA (Match Three)—4-3-3

Clint Dempsey

Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes

Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya

Michael Bradley

F. Johnson J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D. Yedlin

Brad Guzan

Very little tactical tinkering from Klinsi. Unsurprising as it was never his style. Besler would appear to be Yedlin’s natural replacement at Right Back, though moving Bekerman back wouldn’t be such a bad idea. Smart move to cut Dempsey and Wood’s minutes. Zardes needs to find his touch, or switch positioning with Bedoya.

Here are the grades:

GRADES—USA (Match One)

Michael Bradley	A
Alejandro Bedoya	A
Gyasi Zardes	A
Bobby Wood	A-
Fabian Johnson	B+
John Anthony Brooks	B-
Graham Zusi	B-
Darlington Nagbe	B-
Brad Guzan	C+
Clint Dempsey	C
DeAndre Yedlin	C-
Jermaine Jones	D
Christian Pulisic	F

GRADES—USA (Match Two)

Jermaine Jones	A+
Clint Dempsey	A+
Bobby Wood	A+
Chris Wondolowski	A
Graham Zusi	A
Michael Bradley	A
Brad Guzan	B+
DeAndre Yedlin	B
John Anthony Brooks	B
Geoff Cameron	B-
Alejandro Bedoya	C+
Fabian Johnson	C+
Gyasi Zardes	C+
Kyle Beckerman	C+

GRADES—USA (Match Three)

John Anthony Brooks	A+
Clint Dempsey	A
Brad Guzan	A
Fabian Johnson	A-
Geoff Cameron	B
Graham Zusi	B
Alejandro Bedoya	B
Michael Bradley	B
Bobby Wood	B
Gyasi Zardes	B-
Jermaine Jones	C+
Michael Orozco	D
DeAndre Yedlin	F

Hate to give out failing grades, but Yedlin ahs just has a fucking nightmare of a tournament. Christ, what was he thinking on that second challenge? Let’s not forget the patently stupid handball in the first match. Didn’t like anything I saw from Orozco either. Plodding and reckless.

Nice to see newcomer Zardes finally show some signs of life. Dempsey continues to defy his age. J.A. Brooks has just been sensational! Yes…I’m a bit biased as he’s one of the Klinsi’s Kraut Imports, but I really loved watching his sweeping tackles. He’s maturing perfectly. Expect him to continue to find his form in the crucial Knockout Rounds.

Overall, U.S. fans should take pride in topping a challenging group. Big day tomorrow as we’ll find out the Quarterfinal Opponent: Ecuador, Peru, or Brazil. On Paper it looks very likely we’ll get La Tri. They do—in fact—possess enough talent to send the USMNT packing. Even a draw for the Brazilians won’t help much, seeing as how Haiti looks to be defeated by a wide margin.

Root for two draws. USA vs. Peru virtually assures the Semis.

A few thoughts on Europe:

--Kerrrsplat. The Albanians just lost their first game AND their Talismanic captain. Now they have to play the hosts with a huge gaping hole in central defense. When it rains shit, it tends to pour liquid fecal matter. Yikes. The only good news to report concerns the seven Hot Girls spotted in the stands. Thanks for blowing kisses, cuties l )

--Ben Davis’s clearance of Hamsik’s effort off the line…how gorgeous. He spread himself at “anus-tearing” length. That’s what’s football’s all about, brothers. Give up the body and leave it all of the field.

--On the topic of the fantastic Welsh Debut, how about that superb set-piece strike from Gareth Bale? Torpedo meets tomahawk! What a strike Your friendly bookie has come around to the “Men in Blazers” way of thinking: Nothing more enjoyable than goal-celebration accentuated by a bobbing “man-bun”.

--Not quite finished with the Welsh yet. Shitty goal. Awesome fan reaction.

“Riffs of the Day”—Day Two

Reader: Why does the USMNT suck so badly?

Vicey: Nothing worse that a stupid question. They DON’T suck. I may lose some sleep over their lack of creative tendencies at times, but we’re talking no more than five minutes worth of sleep. I typically lose twenty minutes worth of sleep over the Daily Grind. Don’t be a myopic douche.

The Digital Age is full of myopic douches. An old platitude holds that some “can’t see the forest for the trees.” Digital Age myopic douches are infinitely worse. They focus on a single shred of bark whilst the tree falls on top of them, crushing their house and inadvertently sexually violating their mother.

Fuck “myopic douches”!!

Reader: You’re an asshole. Always slaving away for the Man and neglecting your Hermano.

Vicey: I feel you, brother. The halcyon days of youth were better. I fondly recall when the “Days of Summer” meant that my friends and I had nothing better to do that stick some baseball cards in our bicycle spokes and go construct a fort/base in the woods.

In many respects, the Syndicate began as an extension of such youthful innocence. A young lad—circa 2002—felt the sting of Summer Malice and opted to reach out to his valued friends with a spot of Sports Gambling.

Know that—above all else—our Summer Syndicate remains dedicated to those to those still struggling to find their way in this world. Football is the perfect pleasant distraction. Though the demands of a full-time job may force me to be a bit more unreachable, the same large heart still beats hard. Don’t ever doubt the compassion of a kid from “Herzblut City”.

Hang in there. You’ll feel better soon. You WILL feel better soon:

From EM 2012: Goodbyes and Championship Pick:

Then there are those who must still struggle through despair and doubt. These month-long festivals are, as always, dedicated to you. Though the more heartfelt exchanges cannot compete with the snarky ones in terms of entertaining copy, I assure you they outnumber those selected for the mailbag 20-1. It is precisely because of these communiqués that I can easily be so nonchalant when dealing with what might otherwise be one or two piercing personal attacks. To those ‘on the brink’ of the personal fulfillment they seek, I offer you the heartfelt promise that the Syndicate will always be there for you. More importantly, this Shadow Scholar will ALWAYS be here for you. I refer to you ‘on the brink’ of your individual aspirations, because I will not allow you to fail. Whatever anguish and dejection currently ails you, I will not allow you to face it alone. Your friendly bookie will never stand pat, picking you up and carrying you on his shoulders if he must. No one gets left behind in our circle. Absolutely no one. This world has place for all of us yet. We’ll strive until the very end.

DAY THREE--PREVIEW

Turkey vs. Croatia