Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Das Bier”
Day 4: Recap
Record—
Spread: 3-7
Straight up: 6-1-3
Hot
Girl Standings
|
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
|
France
|
14
|
1
|
|
Spain
|
12
|
1
|
|
Germany
|
8
|
1
|
|
Switzerland
|
7
|
1
|
|
Albania
|
7
|
1
|
|
Italy
|
7
|
1
|
|
Republic of Ireland
|
6
|
1
|
|
Sweden
|
6
|
1
|
|
Wales
|
6
|
1
|
|
Turkey
|
6
|
1
|
|
Poland
|
6
|
1
|
|
Romania
|
5
|
1
|
|
Slovakia
|
4
|
1
|
|
Czech Republic
|
4
|
1
|
|
England
|
4
|
1
|
|
Russia
|
3
|
1
|
|
Belgium
|
3
|
1
|
|
Croatia
|
2
|
1
|
|
The Ukraine
|
1
|
1
|
|
Northern Ireland
|
1
|
1
|
Let’s “Draw it up” for the Fatherland, brothers. I’ve been looking forward to this all day.
Let’s start with my projection:
From EM 2016—Group C Preview
Projecting My Kraut Lineup (4-2-3-1)
Thomas Müller
|
Mesut Özil Toni Kroos Andre Schürrle
|
B. Schweinsteiger Sami Khedira
|
Benedict Höwedes Jerome Boateng
|
Mats Hummels S. Mustafi
|
Manuel Neuer
|
And here’s how, after careful review, it appeared to me.
LINEUP—Deutschland
(Match One)—4-2-3-1
Mario Götze
|
Julian Draxler Meshut Özil Thomas Müller
|
Toni Kroos Sami Khedira
|
Jonas Hector Benedikt Höwedes
|
Shkodran Mustafi Jerome Boateng
|
Manuel Neuer
|
Hope that Hummels can recover soon, although Hector did a
great job in relief. Götze might as well start to market himself as “Mr. False
#9”. He’s perfect. Julian Draxler up front? Why not? It worked. All hail,
Mustafi! Finally he managed to not get injured during a major tournament!
Here are the grades:
GRADES—Deutschland
(Match One)
Bastian
Schweinsteiger
|
A+
|
Sami Khedira
|
A+
|
Toni Kroos
|
A
|
Manuel Neuer
|
A
|
Mario Götze
|
A
|
Shkrodan Mustafi
|
A
|
Juilan Draxler
|
B+
|
Benedict Höwedes
|
B
|
Jonas Hector
|
B
|
Jerome Boateng
|
B
|
Thomas Müller
|
B-
|
Meshut Özil
|
C+
|
Jerome Boateng probably deserves a better grade for his
amazing clearance off the line in the 39th. He was just too
inconsistent to merit an “A Grade”. Fantastic finish from Schweine. Kroos and
Khedira looked better than I expected. Definitive Victory. Gut gemacht, Jungs.
Komplett zufrieden.
One additional thought:
Jögi Löw is finally rocking the T-Shirt look. I feel
semi-obligated to remind you that Jögi started off wearing suit jackets and
scarfs. Life get’s more casual when you get the hang of it. That doesn’t mean
you’ll get away with not making the Semi-Finals. You’ll find yourself wearing
T-Shirts every day if you don’t deliver.
Need I really remind you of the coverage from the 2014 WM?
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Fifteen
Reader: I’ve got it Vicey. Your blog is
like a verbose version of those Panini Sticker Albums!
Vicey: I’m going to take that one as a
compliment. I LOVE the Panini Sticker Albums!! Er…does anyone want one as part
of their “Schwag Pack”?
(Female) Reader: Jogi Löw looks even
sexier in the rain.
Vicey: THANK YOU, Syndicate Member 2-F.
THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU. Thank you for bringing this up. I’ve been
meaning to broach this topic for years. As a fallible and incomplete male, I
MUST HAVE an explanation for this phenomenon.
“Why do women find rain-drenched men
attractive?”
(alternately stated)
“What is it that turns women on about
soaked men?”
It’s true. I swear to you it’s true!
This happens. This REALLY happens. You take a walk in a rainstorm with your
girl and she suddenly turns to you with piercingly passionate eyes and says,
“You look good wet!”
You get out of the shower and hardly
have time to towel off your scrotum before she’s all over you. WHAT IS GOING ON
HERE? I merely wish to understand. I’ve read through “Das Feuchgebiet” AND
“Vagina: The Unauthorized Biography” and that just rendered me even more
clueless. Do we glow? Release Pheromones?
I MUST KNOW. Want me to stop doing the
“Hot Girl Standings”? Provide me a satisfactory explanation and they’re done
forever. Promise!
(American) Reader: …your boys don’t look so hot either.
“I’m betting X dollars on the U.S. to
win or draw”.
FOOLS! You just lost money you didn’t
need to! Next time, show some patience. This isn’t Nam. There are rules!
For those keeping track, that’s the
second Lebowski reference of the day.
Punch it up, Syndicate members!
Three thoughts on today’s matches:
--La Roja always start tournaments slowly, Pique is still in
for some solid “Shakira-Head” tonight. Nice job, Hermano.
--No one expected Wes Hoolahan to drop the dime with that
fantastic opener. The Swedes caught a lucky own goal to equalize .
--Well Done, Wops. Two dazzling goals. That’s the way…to
defeat the untested and unproven Belgians.
We’ve only one riff to discuss today:
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Four
Reader: So you’re saying that the violence in Marseilles doesn't matter?
Vicey:
That’s exactly what I’m saying, 122-M. A few minor skirmishes amongst football
fans shouldn't be on our radar. If you truly believe in saving humanity, focus
on nuclear non-proliferation or ethnic tension reduction. Should you have other
interests, post them on your Facebook profile and pretend that you’re saving
the world.
Paste
the “Co-Exist” bumper sticker on the bumper of your car. Tell all your friends
and family that you support Bernie Sanders.
NOT
GOOD ENOUGH!
Put
some volunteer work in. Find a few charities to give your extra money to.
Dedicate
yourself to being a good steward of others.
DAY FIVE--PREVIEW
Austria vs.
Hungary
vs. 
Your friendly bookie remains slightly obsessed with the
E-Rotic Riff he came up with whilst initially coming up with this line. Make a decision, brothers.
THE
LINE: Pick em’ (rolling down hard from Austria +2)
Portugal vs. Iceland
vs, 
THE
LINE: Portugal + 2 Goals (holding)
Well done, Irish fans. You showed enough restraint to keep
it real.
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
