Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Das Bier”
Day 12: Recap
Record—
Spread: 10-22
Straight up: 15-9-8
Hot
Girl Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
France
|
32
|
3
|
Spain
|
31
|
3
|
Switzerland
|
27
|
3
|
Germany
|
25
|
3
|
Poland
|
24
|
3
|
Turkey
|
24
|
3
|
Albania
|
23
|
3
|
Wales
|
22
|
3
|
Romania
|
21
|
3 (finished)
|
Northern Ireland
|
20
|
3
|
England
|
19
|
3
|
Slovakia
|
18
|
3
|
Italy
|
16
|
2
|
Russia
|
16
|
3 (finished)
|
Czech Republic
|
16
|
3 (finished)
|
Republic of Ireland
|
14
|
2
|
Croatia
|
13
|
3
|
Belgium
|
12
|
2
|
Sweden
|
12
|
2
|
Austria
|
12
|
2
|
The Ukraine
|
11
|
3 (finished)
|
Iceland
|
11
|
2
|
Hungary
|
9
|
2
|
Portugal
|
7
|
2
|
Rough day, Stateside Bettors. I “feels ya”. Took absolutely
no pleasure in viewing that disemboweling. Indefensible. Messi’s laser was bad
enough. Higuain’s brace was like your grandmother knocking you down to the
floor, breaking your shins, and delivering a brutal drop-kick to your ribs.
Ugh. It was like watching the complete inverse of a “Walker Texas Ranger”
Episode. It’s not every day that Chuck Norris trips over his own swinging dick,
but I guess it happened today. ; (
Now that the “Fire Klinsi” movement has begun in earnest –
based on the explosion of one of my private e-mail inboxes – I feel obligated
to don my “Mr. Brightside” hat and deliver some “Good News about the USA”
Let’s spread the “Gospel of Vice”
1) The Kraut Aegis
The Argentines may be partying hard tonight, but they’re
still NOT the World Champions. The real World Champions systematically handled
them in the 2014 World Cup Final, effectively shutting down Messi and making
Lavezzi look like the fool that he is. The U.S. Side remains managed by a true
World Champion; 1990 World Cup winner/diver Jürgen Klinsmann He’s assisted by
fellow World Champion Berni Vogts; the man who coached him. The USMNT is doing
just fine under the gentle aegis of thoughtful Krauts.
That isn’t to say that firing Klinsi is actually a bad idea.
He’s one of those coaches with a broad vision better implemented by the more
detail oriented. After he left the Fatherland following the 2006 tournament,
our Nationalmannschaft went with his often-failed journeyman assistant Jögi Löw
and never looked back. When Bayern sacked him back in 2009, it served as an apt
reminder to bring back Jupp Heynckes for his 2,034th “Caretaker
Term.” It worked.
There’s already a decent candidate in the form of Austrian
U-23 Assistant Andreas Herzog. He’d make a fine manager for the U.S. Side. He
can build on what Klinsi was trying entirely too hard to construct. Krauts have
the tendency to overthink matters. Sometimes what’s needed is for someone more
capable of keeping things simple to take over some solid foundational ideas and
complete the blueprints for the skyscraper.
2) The Third Place Match
There’s still life for the U.S. Side. We’ll get to play in
the Third-Place-Playoff on Saturday Night. Yeah! Don’t dismiss what some call
the “Loser Bracket” as a “Useless Consolation Prize.” Yes…I’m thinking of you,
28-M ; ( The Third Place Match provides fans with a pleasant final opportunity
to cheer on their team. Your friendly bookie thoroughly enjoyed cheering on his
National Side in the 2006, 2010, and 2015 (Women’s) Third-Place Match. It’s a
damn shame that the Euros don’t feature a Third Place Match. Germans are ALWAYS
satisfied with the Semi-Finals because it guarantees us seven chances to cheer
on our team.
Enjoy it!
3) The Progress and the Promise
MLS is getting better. Fans, drums, chants, and songs. Most
of it is taking place on the West Coast, but so what? American Outlaw Bars are
popping up in forgotten Hamlets like Columbia, MO. I know full well that most
Americans would rather bury their heads in the sand and watch NASCAR Races, but
don’t give up on football! It’s a great sport! Those Syndicate Members who have
the privilege of playing in a local amateur league know what I’m talking about.
It’s a great feeling to run your ass off for 90 minutes and then share a beer
with your best mates. Football remains a fabulous recreational sports option
for American Professionals. Softball, Dodgeball, and Kickball are cool too, but
football is still the best.
If you feel like you’re too inexperienced to run for 90
minutes, you can play in a co-ed indoor league. It’s easy, fun, and you’ll
probably even get laid!
No experience necessary!
It certainly beats brooding at home and arguing with random
idiots online.
Football rocks the World. Let it rock yours.
4) The Euros continue
Plenty of excitement left for “Anglo-Philes”. Wales just
topped their group. The “Three Lions” are through to the Knockouts. Northern
Ireland and the Republic of Ireland may live on life support, but they’re still
alive. Even if you’re not the biggest fan of Europe, there’s plenty of fun left
in store for you.
Bookie’s promise ; )
5) The 2017 Confederations Cup
The USA will participate in next Summer’s festivities.
You’ll win the CONCACAF Gold Cup next month. Why? Because Mexico just got
de-pantsed by Chile. That’s why. El Tri are in complete disarray. Bring back
Miguel Herrera you stupid fucks! Why on earth did you let him go in the first
place?!?
Speaking of First Place…
6) Still “World Champions”
Need I really remind you that America remains the World
Champions of Women’s Football? Alex Morgan and Carli Lloyd kicked my Kraut
Broads directly in the cunt. You won! Er…WE Won. Here’s your trophy lift.
Full draw-ups for both the Krauts and the Yanks tomorrow. The demands of “U.S. Damage Control” leave your friendly bookie just a bit tired. Your highest quality Riff comes courtesy of the hitherto for silent 88-M.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Twelve
Reader:
Wondo forgot his tennis-ball supported walker.
Vicey:
Yes…yes he did. He…christ I don’t even have anything close to a counter. Wondo
needs to take up Wii Golf. Time to retire, old man. Grow a
David-Letterman-Beard and let it be. Your fuck-up against the Belgians in 2014
isn’t forgotten. What a terrible decision from Klinsi to start him up front!
Fucking Wondo..
DAY THIRTEEN—PREVIEW
Iceland vs. Austria
vs. 
You guys are foolish romantics…just like me ; (
THE
LINE: Austria +1 Goal (rolling down soft from +2)
Hungary vs. Portugal
vs. 
Equal money on both sides. Interesting.
THE
LINE: Portugal +1 Goal (holding)
Italy vs. Republic of Ireland
vs. 
Equal money here too. Bizarre.
THE
LINE: Pick em’ (holding)
Sweden vs. Belgium
vs. 
Few dare to bet against the “Red Devils of Antwerp”. Fair.
THE
LINE: Belgium +1 Goal (holding)
