Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Das Bier”
Day 14: Recap
Record—
Spread: 12-27
Straight up: 19-11-9
Hot
Girl Standings
|
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
|
Croatia
|
33
|
4 (finished)
|
|
France
|
32
|
3
|
|
Poland
|
32
|
4
|
|
Switzerland
|
31
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Spain
|
31
|
3
|
|
Wales
|
29
|
4
|
|
Northern Ireland
|
28
|
4 (finished)
|
|
Germany
|
25
|
3
|
|
Italy
|
25
|
3
|
|
Turkey
|
24
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Iceland
|
23
|
3
|
|
Albania
|
23
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Romania
|
21
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Republic of Ireland
|
21
|
3
|
|
Austria
|
19
|
3 (finished)
|
|
England
|
19
|
3
|
|
Hungary
|
19
|
3
|
|
Belgium
|
19
|
3
|
|
Slovakia
|
18
|
3
|
|
Sweden
|
18
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Russia
|
16
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Czech Republic
|
16
|
3 (finished)
|
|
Portugal
|
15
|
4
|
|
The Ukraine
|
11
|
3 (finished)
|
Horrible shortage of goals today, brothers. Your friendly
bookie had the privilege of actually watching a few much-valued minutes of the
matches…and immediately regretted it. How reversely serendipitous that I can
only carve out time to watch the mediocre matches. ; ( I also find it patently
absurd that Univision was the only channel carrying the USA match. What?!? Fox
Sports One and Fox Sports Two were airing NASCAR Racing and UFC re-runs
respectively. Disgraceful. The USMNT is playing…and most Americans were given
re-runs poorly engineered cars driving around in endless ovals and tattooed
losers engaged in homo-erotic wrestling.
The boys fought hard, generating quality chances and never
relenting in their hustle. It was wholly unfair for them to suffer such an
iniquitous result. On the other hand, it was sad to witness American Broadcast
Networks neglect their National Team. Such neglect needs to be addressed. I
frankly don’t care if the country is mostly comprised of Rednecks. Get a few
beers in the Trailer-Park-Duck-Dynasty-Contingent and I’m sure they’d be happy
to cheer on the U.S. Side. Don’t refuse to air your national side. It’s an
unforgiveable sin ; ( ; (
Before covering the European matches, we’ll “draw it up” for
the U.S. Side.
Lineups come first:
LINEUP—USA
(Match One)—4-3-3 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
|
F. Johnson J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D. Yedlin
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Two)—4-3-2-1 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
|
Jermaine Jones Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
F. Johnson
J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D.
Yedlin
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Three)—4-3-3 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Jermaine Jones Alejandro
Bedoya
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
|
F. Johnson
J.A. Brooks G. Cameron D.
Yedlin
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Four)—4-4-2 |
Clint Dempsey Bobby Wood
|
|
Gyasi Zardes Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
Michael
Bradley Jermaine Jones
|
|
Matt Besler Fabian Johnson
|
|
J.A. Brooks G. Cameron
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
LINEUP—USA
(Match Five)—4-3-3 |
Clint Dempsey
|
|
Bobby Wood Gyasi Zardes
|
|
Jermaine Jones M. Bradley Alejandro Bedoya
|
|
Matt Besler DeAdre Yedlin
|
|
Geoff Cameron Michael Orozco
|
|
Tim Howard
|
Klinsi put his best attack forward, whilst being too
sentimental in his choice of keeper and centerbacks. Pardon his mistakes as everyone
makes them. He made similar choices in the 2006 Third Place Match and achieved
a very different result. Forgive the forlorn Kraut. I’m sure he feels bad
enough as it is. He’s already gone home to his American family and American
kids and went straight to bed without cuddling any of them. That’s how Krauts
think. A bad day at the office ruins everything ; (
Here are your grades:
GRADES—USA
(Match One) |
Michael Bradley
|
A
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
A
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
A
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
A-
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
B+
|
|
John Anthony Brooks
|
B-
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
B-
|
|
Darlington Nagbe
|
B-
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
C+
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
C
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
C-
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
D
|
|
Christian Pulisic
|
F
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Two) |
Jermaine Jones
|
A+
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
A+
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
A+
|
|
Chris Wondolowski
|
A
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
A
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
A
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
B+
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
B
|
|
John Anthony Brooks
|
B
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
B-
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
C+
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
C+
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
C+
|
|
Kyle Beckerman
|
C+
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Three) |
John Anthony Brooks
|
A+
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
A
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
A
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
A-
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
B
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
B
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
B
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
B
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
B
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
B-
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
C+
|
|
Michael Orozco
|
D
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
F
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Four) |
Clint Dempsey
|
A+
|
|
Brad Guzan
|
A
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
A
|
|
Kyle Beckerman
|
A
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
A-
|
|
Fabian Johnson
|
A-
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
B+
|
|
Michael Bradley
|
B
|
|
Matt Besler
|
B
|
|
Graham Zusi
|
C+
|
|
John Anthony Brooks
|
C+
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
C
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
D
|
GRADES—USA
(Match Five) |
Michael Bradley
|
A
|
|
DeAndre Yedlin
|
A
|
|
Clint Dempsey
|
A-
|
|
Gyasi Zardes
|
A-
|
|
Tim Howard
|
B+
|
|
Darlington Nagbe
|
B
|
|
Christian Pulisic
|
B
|
|
Bobby Wood
|
B
|
|
Matt Besler
|
C
|
|
Michael Orozco
|
C
|
|
Jermaine Jones
|
D+
|
|
Geoff Cameron
|
D
|
|
Alejandro Bedoya
|
D
|
Sorry, U.S. Fans. You deserved better in the Third Place
Match. With the pressure alleviated, footballers ordinarily play with
free-flowing courage and creativity. For some reason that didn’t happen today.
The performance we all witnessed merits a new chapter in the oft-mentioned
“Football Apologist’s Handbook”. It didn’t come together…and I’m deeply sorry ;
( ; (
Returning to Europe, I need to call everyone’s attention to
the INSANELY amazing finish produced by Xherdan Shaqiri in today’s Switzerland
vs. Poland match. Gorgeous goal. We’ve not seen a better one all year. I know
I’ve been tough on the little Albanian Winger for his comments about wishing to
be the Kosovar Captain…but a filthy finish like this reminds me that I need to
shut the fuck up:
Holy-motherfucking-shit! We’ll be talking about this goal
for years to come. What an amazing piece of athleticism! What a slippery-slick
piece of skill!!
Long live football!
Other than that, it’s been a boring day. The Wales vs.
Northern Ireland Match was decided by a lousy own-goal. Ronaldo came nowhere
close to replicating his sublime back-heel. Quaresma finished with a flourish,
but he benefitted from a tired Blazer-Back- Four.
The “Riffs Section” proves difficult as your friendly bookie
received so many questions about this goddamned “Br[e]-Exit”. I’ve little
choice but to condense all of the e-mails into one single riff.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Fourteen
Reader:
Your thoughts on the British Referendum, Vicey?
Vicey:
Greetings, “Generic Reader”. I have little to say on the decision by the U.K.
to leave the European Union. Your friendly bookie is no longer an “EU Scholar”.
Sorry, brothers. I used to care. I really did. As a Shadow Scholar, I literally
wrote hundreds of pages on EU Policy and the Continent’s attempt at regional
integration.
I
can’t be bothered to care anymore ; ( Academia threw my ass out, leaving me
destitute, dis-consulate, and dirt poor. The Ivory Tower has little use for
those of us not interested in licking the assholes of our professors.
Let
them have their niche. They deserve to lord over a world in which Donald Trump
wins a major party’s presidential nomination and the elderly tea-sipping ladies
of England vote to sever themselves from Europe.
The
Overpaid Academics can keep this world.
If no one else cares to pay attention, I won't pay attention.
Alzo
Sprach your friendly bookie. ; )
DAY FIFTEEN—PREVIEW
France vs. Republic of Ireland
vs. 
Thanks for rolling the Line, Irish fans. Betting is now
closed.
THE
LINE: Pick em’
(rolling
down soft from France +1)
(Betting
Closed)
Deutschland vs. Slovakia
vs. 
Thanks for not ruining this Line, brothers ; )
THE
LINE: Die Nationalmannschaft +2 Goals (holding)
Hungary vs. Belgium
vs. 
The Line holds. Anyone hoping for an upset needs to chime in
now!!
THE
LINE: Belgium +2 Goals (holding)
