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Day 5: Recap
Bookie’s Stats—
Spread: 4-4
Straight up: 5-1-2
Well, well, well. Prior to today, we women's footballing enthusiasts were counting our blessings that, despite some high score-lines, none of these teams overtly embarrassed themselves with a "fall-to-pieces" performance. Many of us had a bad premonition that one might be coming in the second round.
No one saw this coming tonight.
Goodness Grace Geyoro. A hat trick in the first half. Who does this girl think she is? Carli Lloyd? The bookie warned you that the former defensive midfielder now does her "own unique think" creeping into the box. She and literally all ten of her teammates did a bad, bad thing to an Italian side we all expected much more from.
So much for all the talk of Corinne Diacre running the team like Dana Carvey's Church Chat Lady. These girls apparently don't mind being clique categorized. We barely have a football match to discuss when it comes to this evening's marquee. Just carnage to reflect upon.
S.S.S. Tactical Breakdown
Three lineups. No sense in drawing it up for the French tonight. Diacre's XI almost perfectly mirrors that of the bookie's projection in the preview section, right down to Marie-Antoinette Katoto dipping back as a false-nine. Two personnel differences, with Aissatou Tounkara starting over Griedge Mbock-Mbathy alongside Wendie Renard in central defense and Sandie Toletti retaining her place in midfield above Kenza Dali.
We must nevertheless skip ahead to Italy in the hopes of divining some lessons out of it.
Smashed through a spaghetti grinder, the poor girls were.
Lineup—Italy—PROJECTED (4-3-3) (7/4/22)
Bookie took a few chances with his selection, flipping some things around and going with Caruso and Giancinti. Bertolini took more chances, going with both Caruso and Bergamaschi. It also looked like--before everything fell apart mind you--like Bonanza was supposed to operate behind the two strikers like a fluid ten.
Lineup—Italy—Match One (4-3-3) (7/10/22)
Guess we're all destined to forget Bonansea's free-header from close range in the 4th. That could have certainly prevented this massacre. It pains me to say this, but the real problem lay not with the back line but in the midfield....with some of my favorite players no less. This diamond proved a fragile piece of glass indeed.
Grades—Italy (Match One)
Martina Piemonte | A |
Barbara Bonansea | B- |
Lisa Boattin | C |
Sara Gama | C |
Laura Giuliani | C- |
Elisa Bartoli | D |
Cristina Girelli | D |
Arianna Caruso | D- |
Valentina Bergamaschi | F |
Manuela Giugliani | F |
Aurora Galli | F |
Elena Linari | F |
Not a pretty sight. A few positives to report. Bookie appreciated how Bonansea and Sara Gama didn't give up. Keeper Laura Giuliani wasn't a total disaster. She was mostly let down by all the outfielders ahead of her. Lisa Boattin managed to set up that pull-back consolation goal for Piemonte; a name we might as well all get familiar with.
With respect to damage mitigation, Bertolini did well to pull midfielders Galli and Giugliani at the half. They were the ones responsible for losing Geyoro directly. Torrid opening 45s for both them needed to be cancelled and forgotten as soon as possible. Assuming Valentina Cernoia can recover from COVID in time, she'll start for one of them.
Caruso probably needs to take a back-seat for now as well. The youngster just wasn't ready for this stage yet. The Italian trainer might have to dust off Martina Rosucci to replace her. In the bookie's opinion, Giugliano is too valuable to be benched no matter what a nightmare outing she just had. We'll thus see Bertolini maintain three midfielders.
Bergamaschi--courtesy of some very poor touches on the scant few services she received--must take a seat. Giancinti can snap in there in the revamped 4-3-3. Not too terribly much we can do with the back-four. Bergamaschi can always work as a fullback. Otherwise, there isn't really anybody with enough experience to replace the veterans who so underperformed.
It's far from over yet. We're going to discuss Belgium below. Three points remain in reach for Le Azzure. The could also potentially nick a point off the Ice Queens.
Remember that Euro 2008 side that got clobbered by the Dutch in the opener?
There can be a path back
Over to the "Ice-Dottirs". Yes, I know enjoyed watching them, gentlemen. Yes, I further know that you'd like tricots with that snazzy new crest. No, I will not answer any more mail about Icelandic naming customs. It's all laid out for you in the preview section, replete with a thoughtfully selected picture of Magnus ver Magnusson.
Ahem. Bookie remains a little pissed that the girls from the Volcanic Isle didn't meet his Line. They should have won. They certainly deserved the win, totally outplaying the Belgians with a vastly superior positional game.
Berglind Björg Thorvaldsdottir ultimately redeemed herself for that earlier soft penalty ...but dammit.....they should have won. So much for the opening round's pseudo upset-special.
Lineup—Iceland—PROJECTED (4-3-3) (7/4/22)
I have to say that the much simpler 4-3-3 that Thorstein Haldorsson ultimately did at times resemble the fever-dream-esque "Dottir-Traum" of your friendly bookie. Plenty of quality forward action from the Bundesliga girls Sveindis Jane Jonsdottir and Karlia Lea Vihjalmsdottir.
The Iceland trainer nevertheless kept it box-to-box tight in order to snuff out the Red Flames. Note that there's wild improvised rotation in this attack. Fizzy stuff from these girls.
Lineup—Iceland—Match One (4-3-3) (7/10/22)
It was all very well handled, right down to the S.J. Jonsdottir long-throws and Danny Brynjarsdottir's creep ups on every last dead-ball service. There wasn't been much going on around the penalty area in the first half. One still witnessed a certain cadence to how these girls handled possession. Off the ball, they were absolutely tenacious.
There's your silky smooth star, beautiful in so many ways. S.J. Jonsdottir earned "player-of-the-match" honors for all of her top-notch work over most every blade of grass on the pitch. Courtesy of the fact that Vihjalmsdottir and Thorvaldsdottir also cut around all the major lanes, she can pop up just about anywhere on the charge.
A mostly solid game from all the Icelandic Mädels, with some rather sad dips from two veterans. G.Y. Jonsdottir conceded the penalty that enabled the Belgians to equalize. Captain Sara Bjørk Gunnarsdottir also rather disappointed this observer. Truth be told, I haven't seen her play since she left Wolfsburg and had her baby. The 31-year-old definitely doesn't look the same player.
Much more remains possible with this one. Bookie confidently proclaims that we haven't heard the last of her in this tournament. Truly a shame that they couldn't snatch all three points here. Coupled with Italy's loss, that would have been tantamount to a punched ticket for the knockouts.
Before getting too excited, however, we have to consider the state of Iceland's back-line. More precisely, the lack of any knowledge about how it can stand up to a real test. Bookie honestly harbors no clue as the Belgians barely broke through to it.
Lineup—Belgium—PROJECTED (4-3-3) (7/10/22)
Well, sigh. The idea here was to present an attacking front that took advantage of De Caigny's form and Eurlings' potential. Ives Serenely still went with a rather gutsy call in giving Elena Dhont the start. No matter. Everything proved predictable and toothless.
Lineup—Belgium—Match One (4-2-3-1) (7/10/22)
No, no, no. Wrong! Watching this during the first half made the bookie want to bash the Belgian trainer over the head with a tactics board. No width. No counterattacking ability. Placing de Caigny directly behind vertically in such a tight cluster pairing totally robbed her of her ability to influence the match. This isn't something one should see at this level.
After Vanhaevermaet converted from the spot for the equalizer, the Red Flames woke up a bit towards the end. What qualifies as their rousing still amounted to little more than a solid shot on target from Tessa Wullaert and some inspired play from the subbed on Eurlings, who (say it with me) should have started in the first place.
We said they'd be erratic. The poor Red Flames. Awesome name. Great players. They've got the words, yet can't seem to find the tune. Trainer Serneels might do well to take another look at that music sheet. At least the fans came prepared.
Would have actually been cool to see the Dutch and Belgian horn sections face off in the knockouts. That lone trombone player in from the Portuguese brass section won't prove much of a match against the Oranje Band. No contest.
“Riffs of the Day”—Day Five
Reader: Jesus that Icelandic anthem is long!
Vicey: One of the longest in the world, 11-M. Interesting bit of trivia. Germany's long form is actually the longest. Japan has the shortest. Two teams that are slated to meet in the coming World Cup group stages. Incidentally, R.I.P Shinzo Abe. No joke there. That's sincere.
Reader: Looks like the Icelandic girls aren't afraid of white unis either!
Vicey: Syndicate Member 23-M with a parlay on last night's post. Rumors that women's footballers are wary of donning white for...well...what we might politely term "menstrual concerns" aren't something that the bookie's prepared to believe.
Everyone's fine and fearless as far as I can tell!
Bring on the rollerblades and labradors!
Reader: Why is ESPN showing women's tackle football instead of real women's football?
Vicey: I don't have an answer for that question, 15-M. In the event that you missed out on the day, France vs. Italy was not shown on any one of the broadcast networks. One could still stream it of course, but for some reason we got women's tackle football on the "deuce" instead.
Women's tackle football. Effectively American football. Didn't even know there was such a thing. How wonderful. Don't get the bookie wrong. Women have every right to all the steroids and brain damage they so desire. Good on them. Go in search of your dreams. I'll kindly not watch.
Reader: What can you tell me about rules ESPN rules expert Christina Unkel, Vicey?
Vicey: Not nearly as much as I would like to be able to be able to, 130-M. She's an incredibly sharp and snappy commentator who genuinely has me looking forward to VAR reviews. That's something ESPN got spot on. Your friendly bookie isn't one to pry into personal lives, but I absolutely had to check if she was, in fact, a lawyer.
Yup. A licensed attorney. One could just tell by her deliveries.
Cool.
One of the bookie's new favorite Schiris.
Reader: Manuela Giugliano with long hair is messing me up.
Vicey: Me too, 36-M. It looks like it's messing her up too.
My word, it looks as if that fresh-faced kid from three years ago has aged a decade or more.
Reader: I'm not messing with Martini Piemonte.
Vicey: 36-M with the double dip. Agreed.
This looks to be one very angry woman
Scoring a goal seems to have made her even angrier.
Reader: Not much we can say in terms of attendance today is there, Vicey?
Vicey: Not in Group D, 19-M. These are tiny venues. The Man City academy stadium only seats 5,000 while Rotherham's "New York" Venue only holds 12,000. There have been some complaints lodged by the players representing this country in this group.
Not sure if we can end up complaining since neither one of the fixtures came close to full capacity. Not our day. Tomorrow will be much, much better. We're back to watch the hosts at a 30,000 seat venue.
DAY SIX--PREVIEW
Austria vs. Northern Ireland
THE LINE: Austria +2 Goals (debuting)
England vs. Norway
vs. 
You may find this one surprising. Again, the coming Lines section will expand upon it further. Suffice to say that it's not a sentimental pick.
THE LINE: England +1 Goal (debuting)
GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS
