Shadow Scholar Syndicate: WM 2014--Day Twenty Recap

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Day 20: Recap

Record—

Spread: 20-38

Straight up: 29-20-9

Hot Girl Standings

Country	Tally	Games Played
Brazil	176	5
Columbia	136	5 (finished)
Netherlands	114	4
Germany	110	5
Argentina	108	4
France	108	5 (finished)
Costa Rica	103	4
Mexico	92	4 (finished)
USA	87	4 (finished)
Chile	74	4 (finished)
Nigeria	71	4 (finished)
Belgium	70	4
Greece	67	4 (finished)
Japan	66	3 (finished)
South Korea	65	3 (finished)
Australia	63	3 (finished)
Bosnia & H	59	3 (finished)
Spain	58	3 (finished)
Switzerland	53	4 (finished)
Ecuador	53	3 (finished)
Ghana	52	3 (finished)
Cote d’Ivoire	49	3 (finished)
Russia	41	3 (finished)
Italy	39	3 (finished)
Honduras	37	3 (finished)
Uruguay	36	4 (finished)
Algeria	36	4 (finished)
Croatia	33	3 (finished)
Cameroon	32	3 (finished)
Portugal	31	3 (finished)
England	29	3 (finished)
Iran	26	3 (finished)

Ju-Chu Syndicate Members!

DEUTSCHLAND IST INS HALBFINALE!!

That’s all that matters. Anything that comes after this is just icing on the cake.

WIR HABEN’S GESCHAFFT!!

WE did it! We’re now guaranteed seven matches. All is forgiven for Löw. He’s more than welcome to stay. I’d like to share some of yesterday evening’s i-phone photos with you. We “to took her out for the MOTHER OF ALL MOTHERFUKCING spins”. I’ve no clue how my car horn is still functional. A beautiful evening. I’ve got photos of Sri Lankan immigrants forming an impromptu drum circle. I’ve got photos of three flags sticking out of a Smart Car. I’ve got photos of German flags on steroids!!

The only problem is that a picture is worth a thousand words and I’m already averaging more than 5,000 per day. Hence, we’ll reprint my falsely pessimistic assessment of the German team’s prospects from the Preview Section, beset by the photos. After that, we’ll get to the more technical talk.

ENJOY!!

From WM 2014—Group G Preview:

Deutschland—“The Glorious Fatherland”

Heart palpitation time. How are we meant to do this without one single natural striker? Where will the goals come from? I need some Rolaids…STAT!! This team is going to put me in the Intensive Care Ward ; ( ; ( Never trust the Germans in a year in which their flag is displayed prominently on their uniform. It’s bad luck…or so I’ve just decided to say. The 1990 World Cup kind of torpedoes that theory, but I’m still haunted by Euro 2004.

If anyone’s wondering where Mario Gomez is, he never fully recovered from his ankle surgery back in July 2012. He staged a brilliant comeback some nine months after undergoing the procedure, but by that time had been supplanted by Bayern’s new signing Mario Mandzukic. He transferred to Serie A Side Fiorentina the following Summer, only to re-aggravate his injury early in the season. After he once again staged an improbable comeback, he tore through most of the ligaments in his left knee this Spring. He was thus never a serious contender to make this team.

Löw had other options in Borussia Mönchengladbach’s Max Kruse and 1899 Hoffenheim’s Kevin Volland, but he ultimately decided that neither one was ready to occupy a valuable roster spot. In a very surprising move, Kruse wasn’t even called up to the Provisional Squad. That leaves us with….35-year-old Miroslav Klose. Yes, he’s back. He obstinately refuses to go away. He’s the little Polish Engine that could. He defied everyone’s predictions by resurrecting his career with Italian Club Lazio Roma three years ago. The man just won’t go gentle into that good night.

Klose himself has struggled with injury this season and looked well past his prime when gifted a start in Euro 2012. This bookie considers it highly unlikely that he’ll be part of the starting eleven when the Mannschaft kicks off against Portugal on June 16^th. That means that Löw will be forced to trot out at least one midfielder who occasionally plays as a forward. At first glance that doesn’t appear to be a problem. Thomas Müller, Lukas Podolski, Marco Reus, and Andreas Schürrle can all play striker if need be. Götze’s been deployed as a Center Forward as well.

I’m still nervous. Reus does better as a winger. So does Schürrle. Podolski’s move back to central midfield is the primary reason he got his career up and running again. Götze and Müller serve better further down the pitch for the same reason: The can see more of the play develop and unleash vicious long-range efforts when the mood strikes. We’ve got this kid Julian Draxler, who’s improvisational attacking style will likely earn him a new contract/club before the summer is over. He’ll probably mature into a top tier striker at his new club. For the moment he’s nowhere near ready.

Projecting Löw’s lineup is an exceedingly difficult task, but we’ll give it the old “college try” anyway. I’ll predict that he places Müller and Reus up front. The former has the height while the latter has the speed. Götze gets the nod in central midfield, backed up by Podolski. Meshut Özil has just had too bad of a year at the Emirates, plagued by injury and some genuinely stupid play. He regained his form late on, but Podolski remains the safer bet. Another one of our exalted foreign-born heroes currently struggling with adversity is Sami Khedira. Injury and inconsistent form have sidelined him for most of the season over at Real. It doesn’t look like he’ll start.

The defensive midfield will be anchored by Schweine and Toni Kroos. For once I’m not too worried about Schweine. His never-ending saga with injury continues, but he’s had another fantastic year as Bayern’s “Flight Director”. He couldn’t possibly hope to emulate the 2013 Campaign, but he still looked good nonetheless. Kroos is another story. Again he appears not to be utilizing his talent. With respect to international competition, his soft performance had an awful lot to do with the loss to Italy in Euro 2012’s semifinals. Man, do I ever wish Kehdira could get it together. ; (

In terms of the back four, Jerome “Bringschuld Baby” Boateng retains his place at left back. Per Mertesacker has made the final squad, but it looks like Matt Hummels still has his center-back position. Holger Badstuber is hurt as is “sometimes” defender Ilkay Gündogan. Marcell Schmelzer and Marcel Jansen didn’t make the final cut. With Großkreutz still untested, I pick Benedict Höwedes as the most likely candidate to inherit Badstuber’s CB Spot.

That leaves us with our captain, the miracle-working Leprechaun known as Phillip Lahm. Hard to believe, but weeks ago many were speculating that he’d start as a midfielder. Bah-ha! We’ve got plenty of those! Besides that, to start Lahm in midfield would be like given detailed scene notes to a porn-star. Lahm does all the work of a midfielder from his fullback position. He needs no further direction.

Of course it’s a very good team! I’ve still got my bed in the Krankenhaus reserved. German elimination has never stopped the Syndicate before. Your friendly bookie will keep writing regardless. Just don’t act surprised if he files some very drunken dispatches after the Group Phase. Far too many of you falsely assume I file ALL dispatches tipsy. Not so. Not even close to true. If my Mannschaft get’s eliminated early…well…that's a different matter entirely.

The fate of my liver is riding on Lahm’s ingenuity.

“‘Drawing it Up’ For the Survivors”

1) Deutschland

LINEUP—Deutschland (Match One)—4-1-2-3

Thomas Müller

Mario Götze Meshut Özil

Sami Khedira Toni Kroos

Phillip Lahm

B. Höwedes M. Hummels P. Mertesacker J. Boateng

Manuel Neuer

LINEUP—Deutschland (Match Two)—4-3-2-1

Thomas Müller

Mario Götze Meshut Özil

Sami Khedira Phillip Lahm Toni Kroos

J. Boateng B. Höwedes

M. Hummels P. Mertesacker

Manuel Neuer

LINEUP—Deutschland (Match Three) 4-3-3

Thomas Müller

Lukas Podolski Meshut Özil

Phillip Lahm

Bastian Schweinsteiger Toni Kroos

B. Höwedes M. Hummels P. Mertesacker J. Boateng

Manuel Neuer

LINEUP—Deutschland (Match Four) (4-1-2-3)

Thomas Müller

Mario Götze Meshut Özil

Toni Kroos Bastian Schweinsteiger

Phillip Lahm

B. Höwedes P. Mertsacker J. Boateng S. Mustafi

Manuel Neuer

Projected Lineup:

“Die Mannschaft”—Match Five (4-3-3)

Thomas Müller

Andreas Schürrle Meshut Özil

Toni Kroos Sami Khedira

Bastian Schweinsteiger

E. Durm J. Boateng P. Mertesacker P. Lahm

Manuel Neuer

Actual Lineup:

“Die Mannschaft”—Match Five (4-2-1-3)

Miroslav Klose

Meshut Özil Thomas Müller

Toni Kroos

Bastian Schweinsteiger Sami Khedira

B. Höwedes J. Boateng M. Hummels P. Lahm

Manuel Neuer

Quite the shocker from Joachim Löw up front as he started Klose at Center Forward, moved Müller down to the right, and flipped Özil over to the left. It didn’t really work in terms of Klose and Özil, but Müller still looked comfortable out of the “Faux #9” position.

Kroos got to anchor the midfield with Khedira and Schweinsteiger buttressing. That move actually worked out quite well. Schweine and Sami regained some of their lateral touch and Kroos played excellently both in possession and off set pieces. Jogi gave into the country’s demands and started Lahm at left back. He showed a tremendous amount of faith in Höwedes at the opposite end of the pitch and the gamble yielded average results.

To our great national fortune, Hummels recovered from his muscular injury and his cold in time to score the winning goal. After a Trappatoni-like post-game interview, Mertesacker took a seat with Boateng occupying the other centerback position. He played a truly great match! Schürrle gets a grade following his 69^th minute substitution. Götze wasn’t a factor and Kramer was simply a way to wind down the clock.

GRADES—Deutschland (Match One)

Thomas Müller	A+
Matt Hummels	A+
Meshut Özil	A
Sami Khedira	A
Toni Kroos	A-
Jerome Boateng	B+
Per Mertesacker	B+
Benedict Höwedes	B
Manuel Neuer	B
Phillip Lahm	B-
Mario Götze	C+

GRADES—Deutschland (Match Two)

Miroslav Klose	A+
Bastian Schweinsteiger	A+
Matt Hummels	A
Manuel Neuer	B+
Per Mertesacker	B
Thomas Müller	B
Benedikt Höwedes	B-
Jerome Boateng	C+
Toni Kroos	C
Sami Khedira	C
Mario Götze	C
Meshut Özil	D
Phillip Lahm	D
Shkodran Mustafi	F

GRADES—Deutschland (Match Three)

Thomas Müller	A
Manuel Neuer	B+
Bastian Schweinsteiger	B+
Miroslav Klose	B
Matt Hummels	B
Per Mertesacker	B
Jerome Boateng	B-
Lucas Podolski	C+
Meshut Özil	C-
Benedict Höwedes	D
Toni Kroos	D
Phillip Lahm	D-

Grades—Deutschland (Match Four)

Manuel Neuer	A+
Andres Schürrle	A+
Thomas Müller	A
Bastian Schweinsteiger	A
Meshut Özil	A-
Phillip Lahm	B+
Jerome Boateng	B
Per Mertesacker	C
Sami Khedira	C
Toni Kroos	C-
Mario Götze	D
Shokdran Mustafi	D-
Benedict Höwedes	F

Grades:

Grades—Deutschland (Match Five)

Matt Hummels	A+
Manuel Neuer	A+
Jerome Boateng	A
Toni Kroos	A
Phillip Lahm	A
Sami Khedira	A-
Bastian Schweinsteiger	B+
Thomas Müller	B
Andreas Schürrle	B
Benedict Höwedes	B
Miroslav Klose	C
Meshut Özil	C-

Good grades all around. No call to bitch at Löw, who has delivered us the semi-finals and is now welcome to stay. It really wasn’t the most entertaining match for neutrals, I’m sure. It turned out to be an ugly win from the perspective of those without vested interests. For those of us who love our Fatherland, however, it was a great team effort!

2) Brazil

Projected Lineup:

“A Selecao”—Match Five—(4-3-2-1)

Bernard

Neymar Hulk

Oscar

Luis Gustavo Paulinho

Marcelo D. Luiz T. Silva D. Alves

Julio Cesar

Actual Lineup:

“A Selecao”—Match Five—(4-2-3-1)

Fred

Neymar Oscar Hulk

Paulinho Fernandinho

Marcelo Maicon

David Luiz Thiago Silva

Julio Cesar

Scolari stuck with Fred…to no avail whatsoever. Your friendly bookie, drawing up his lines several days in advance, forgot to take into account that Luis Gustavo was suspended. Oops. He certainly won’t forget to take into account that Thiago Silva is suspended for the semi-finals. No sirree.

A slight shift in the formation yielded little. In contrast, ditching Dani Alves in favor of Maicon turned out to be a very inspired move.

Two pressing questions heading forward?

1) How big is the Thiago Silva suspension?

FUCKING HUGE. Scolari either has to move Maicon inside or give Dante the start. Maxwell continues to look uncomfortable in any role other than fullback and Henrique can’t make it happen. Dante’s a good choice…but his German Bundesliga colleagues know him all too well

2) How big is the Neymar injury?

FUCKING HUGE. Scolari has only bad options. Jo, Willan, and Ramires are less than inspiring. He and Bernard don’t appear to have the best relationship and it’s probably too much ask of Luiz Gustavo to move up front.

……

Hmmm….I still might be persuaded, though. The absence of Neymar might draw this group closer when it matters most.

No Brazilian substitutes get grades this time.

Grades:

Grades—Brazil (Match Five)

David Luiz	A
Thiago Silva	A
Marcelo	A-
Maicon	B+
Oscar	B
Fernandinho	B
Neymar	B
Hulk	C+
Paulinho	C
Fred	D
Julio Cesar	F

Julio Cesar earns an F for that vicious tackle that led to the penalty. He should have been thrown off. Neymar and Hulk get inflated grades for their passionate play. Luiz and Silva also didn’t play great respective matches, but they got goals. Fred continues to just plain suck. Where the hell is the Fred from last Summer?

Goodbyes Section

France —“Les Bleaus”

-4 Games Played

-10 Goals Scored

-108 Hot Girls

Oh-la-la. This bookie’s French “Ames” were so quick to dismiss the Ribery injury as inconsequential. Greizemann and Matuidi could easily fill that gap, they said. The controversial decision to leave Samir Nasri at home? They pooh-poohed that one with gushing praise for Pogba and Cabaye. Well…you could have really used either one of them last night. Mrs. Nasri is one batshit insane bitch for immediately taking to Twitter after the French loss, but she has a point.

You got completely shut down in the middle of the park. Benzema, Valbuena, and Griezman made the most of what chances they were given, which happened to be few and far between. The striking trio all too often found themselves on the defensive end of matters. Bizarrely enough, they were more often seen clearing German cutbacks in the defensive third than in the danger area. Matuidi and Cabaye simply didn’t win enough of the one vs. one battles with Kroos and Schweine. A very good team thus heads home after a tightly contested match that I cannot imagine was much fun for the neutrals out there. A plus tard!

Benzema, Valbuena, and Evra all had worthy efforts stopped by Neuer. Manuel’s casual parry of Benzema’s rocket in the games dying moments. Nevertheless, Schürrle and Müller squandered much better chances. Moreover, Klose should have been awarded a penalty after Debuchy hauled him down early in the first half. The best team won. The victory was 100 percent earned.

Ze French are like family to those of us living in Karlsruhe. We’re situated only a few kilometers from the French border. Many Frogs live and work in the area. Even more Germans take advantage of lower land prices in the French countryside and commute into Karlsruhe to work. Hop in the car and half of the radio stations your antennae will pick up are French. Speaking of hopping in the car, it’s only a 40-minute ride to Strasbourg (The “City of Dreams”)! It’s the perfect Romantic Weekend Getaway. Your friendly bookie hops over there as often as he can; at least once a month on average.

Accordingly, about a third of the audience over at the brewery last night enthusiastically sang “La Marseillaise”. Those of us from Southwest Germany sung along with them….albeit a little less enthusiastically : ). After the game it was hugs and congratulations all around. They’re family! We forgive them for taking Strasbourg back…if only because they’ve done such a fantastic job with it.

Let’s draw it up for our “Border Brothers”!

Projected Lineup:

“Les Bleus”—Match Five (4-3-3)

Karim Benzema

Antoine Griezmann Moussa Sissoko

Blaise Matuidi Paul Pogba

Yohan Cabaye

P. Evra B. Sagna L. Koscielny M.Debuchy

Hugo Lloris

Actual Lineup:

“Les Bleus”—Match Five (4-3-3)

Karim Benzema

Antoine Griezmann Mathieu Valbuena

Blaise Matuidi Paul Pogba

Yohan Cabaye

P. Evra M. Sakho R. Varane M.Debuchy

Hugo Lloris

Deschamps opted to start Valbuena despite his downward trajectory. He mostly played a solid match. Your friendly bookie spent a good ten minutes trying to anticipate who the Froggy Centerbacks would be. I ultimately decided against Varane, because I thought it certain he would want to flip Koscielny. Since Sahko didn’t play that well against Ecuador, I augured that he would opt for veteran leadership in Sagna. Guess I was wrong, but at the same time right.

The centerbacks receive poor grades from me. They weren’t exactly responsible for the loss, but pairing Sagna with Kosicelny might have supplied Deschamps side with some better opportunites on set pieces. Koscielny was eventually subbed in for the ineffective Sakho in the 72^nd. He gets a grade, as does Remy Cabella. Giroud came on in the 85^th and made no difference whatsoever. No grade for him.

Grades:

Grades—France (Match Five)

Karim Benzema	A
Antoine Griezman	A-
Patrice Evra	B+
Mathieu Valbuena	B+
Laurent Koscielny	B
Paul Pogba	B-
Remy Cabella	B-
Hugo Lloris	C+
Yohan Cabaye	C
Blaise Matuidi	C-
Mamadou Sakho	C-
Mathieu Debuchy	D+
Raphael Varane	D

Very surprised we didn’t see Sissoko when it came down to the wire. Remy still played reasonably well. Ze French return as hosts and favorites to capture their THIRD European Championship in the Summer of 2016. It would be a mistake to part company with Deschamps, who appears to possess a fine tactical mind.

The squad will look very different. Ribery, Nasri, and Clichy can all fight their way back into the 23-man-roster by that time. Young prospects Kurt Zouma, Clement Grenier, and Alexandre Lacazette have two full years to ripen into regulars. Forwards Paul Georges Ntep, Florian Thauvin, and Yassine Benzia all light it up for the Willy-Sagnol-coached youth team. No player on the current French roster other than Evra will be too old to merit consideration for the “2016-23”.

Of course, one simply has to expect the unexpected from France. They have two high-caliber leagues and a very deep global talent pool from which to select. A few totally unexpected stars will emerge over the next two years. Looking forward to seeing who pops up on the radar from nowhere.

Columbia —“The Coffee Growers”

-5 Games Played

-12 Goals Scored

-136 Hot Girls

What an absolutely riveting nightcap that was last night, Syndicate Brothers! All the drama of a hotly contested regional rivalry. Certain scenes will remain etched into my memory forever: The throngs outside Fortaleza celebrating Thiago Silva’s opening goal, David Luiz dropping to his knees and engaging in some sort of Gregorian chant after nailing that set-piece, and (of course) Neymar writing in pain as the medical staff struggled to get him onto that stretcher.

The most enduring image, however, shall be the tears of James “Hammer” Rodriguez even as Luiz attempted to console him after the final whistle. What a scene. His tears are perfectly understandable. We’ve no clue when we’ll see “Los Cafeteros” again. Now 38-eight-years of age, captain Mario Yepes won’t set foot on an international pitch again. The Colombians will retain Hammer Rodriguez, Quintero, Jackson Martinez, and Pablo Armero for many years to come. They’ll also get Radamel Falcao back from injury. The youth and promise still means very little to a smaller country that must fend of Goliath-like giants in the immensely difficult COMNEBOL Conference. Yikes. Future very much uncertain.

Let’s focus on the positive. As the Tournament now winds down it’s extremely unlikely that there will be any more high-scoring matches. That means that Hammer Rodriguez remains this bookie’s pick to win the “Golden Boot”. He’s got a bright future ahead of him after a big-time club snatches him away from Monaco. Other players who look to secure new lucrative contracts are keeper David Ospinna, midfielder Carlos Sanchez, and (bit of a stretch) striker Teofilo Gutierrez.

They’ll all soon be playing against the world’s best competition. Might as well hope for the best; a new regional powerhouse that will compete in the top competitions for 6-8 years.

Let’s “draw it up” for them.

Projected Lineup:

“The Coffee Growers”—Match Five—(4-2-3-1)

Jackson Martinez

James Rodriguez Juan Cuadrado

Teofilio Gutierrez

Carlos Sanchez Abel Aguilar

P. Armero M. Yepes C. Zapata J.C. Zuniga

David Ospina

Actual Lineup:

“The Coffee Growers”—Match Five— (4-2-2-2)

James Rodriguez Teofilo Gutierrez

Victor Ibarbo Juan Cuadrado

Carlos Sanchez Freddy Guarin

Pablo Armero J.C Zuniga

Mario Yepes Christian Zapata

David Ospina

Very surprising moves from Jose Pekerman, who audaciously dropped Jackson Martinez, moved James up front, started Guarin in place of Aguilar, and gave Ibarbo the nod on the left. In addition to that, I thought for certain he would drop Gutierrez back behind as an anchoring striker after he showed distributive prowess against Uruguay. It was a brave choice that very nearly yielded the upset. That’s why he gets the big bucks.

Ibaro still turned out to be a total bust. Adrian Ramos took over for him at halftime. Substitute Ramos gets a grade, as does 70^th minute sub Carlos Bacca. Quintero came in just after the Rodriguez penalty and wasn’t a factor at all.

Grades:

Grades—Columbia (Match Five)

James Rodriguez	A
David Ospinna	A
Carlos Bacca	A
Mario Yepes	A-
Pablo Armero	B
Christian Zapata	B-
Juan Cuardado	C
Freddy Guarin	C-
Teofilio Gutierez	D
Adrian Ramos	D
J.C. Zuniga	D
Carols Sanchez	D-
Victor Ibarbo	D-

Once again, the better team won.

“Riffs of the Day”—Day Twenty

Reader: Vicey, this game [France vs. Germany] is putting me to sleep!

Vicey: I know, brother. We’re still having a great time over here! Sometimes it just a’int pretty for the neutrals.

Reader: How did Schürrle fail to score there?

Vicey: Good question. His super-hot girlfriend should deny him nookie this evening.

Reader: They’re placing Neymar on that stretcher all wrong!

Vicey: I COULDN’T POSSIBLY AGREE MORE!! What the hemorrhaging fuck was that?!?! The man (potentially) has a cracked vertebrae and you PICK HIM UP? Jesus H. fucking Christ. Müller-Wohlfahrt would never do that!

Reader: Congratulations on your boring “Teutonic Victory.”

Vicey: Hehehe…they’re still not quite as boring as the 1974 team, but we might be headed there.

Reader: Looks like the Brazilians might have some trouble finding their “backbone” against the Krauts. They’ll be “spineless”.

Vicey: Bwahahahaha

And…….DOUBLE ZING, Syndicate Member 13-M (at the last moment)!!!

Give it up for 13-M, everyone ; ) ; )

DAY TWENTY-ONE—PREVIEW

Two great matches on tap today. The Dutch face-off against Cinderella and Messi has everything to prove. Viel Spaß!

Belgium vs. Argentina