Greetings Syndicate Members,
Alright! Who’s fired up for Brazil vs. Holland? Yeah I know that’s the fixture on everyone’s mind! Neymar-less Brazil has some pride to salvage against a Dutch side that has already publicly stated that the match is meaningless! Arjen Robben calls it a “throwaway fixture”! Louis van Gaal has to coach with a skeleton staff. Most are already packed and on their way home just in time to catch a great re-run of “De Jongens tegen de Meisjes” (“The Boys vs. The Girls”)-- (Saturday 22:00 on Dutch RTL 4)!!
Okay. Okay. We all know that most of the Dutch will flip
over to “Scream 4” (ACTUALLY playing at the time of the match on Dutch
television), but still. Third Place Playoffs are free flowing and high-scoring
affairs. They’re a wonderful opportunity to scout new players with everything
to prove. Stars are born. Four goals in 2006! Five goals in 2010! Four goals
and a thrilling penalty shootout last Summer in the Confederations Cup! Seriously, no one?
These two guys in dresses seemed pretty pumped, don’t you
think?
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Alright. Fuck it. I capitulate. I know that all anyone wants
to talk about is Sunday’s finale at the historic Maracana. The only reason I
originally devoted an individual post to the Third Place Playoff is that the
Germans were participating in it both in 2006 and in 2010. This bookie
nevertheless recommends that you tune in if only because this constitutes your
FINAL chance to place a wager during your Shadow Scholar Syndicate’s 19th
Chapter. I’ve already opted to invoke “bookie’s privilege”. All bets are off
for the final.
Got that? I repeat. ALL BETS ARE OFF FOR THE FINAL.
The Final should be a time for us all to relax and catch up.
I personally wish to savor every moment of my country’s fourth World Championship
without any thought as to whether Die Nationalmannschaft beats the spread. I
also to hope to be able to phone and message with most of you. Yes, yes. I’ve
heard ALL of you. It is aggravating that the Syndicate used to be about running
up a $800 cell phone bill whilst we all got loaded and chatted throughout all
the matches.
Things have changed now that your friendly bookie finds
himself once again back in Europe and the membership swell makes coordinating
the whole project a bit of a logistical nightmare. Rest assured that we won’t
get too big for our breeches. That’s the way I’ve designed it. Writing in an
uncompromising long-winded personal style that features plenty of vulgar humor
and profanity ensures that only the members read the post. There may be some
fleeting interest from elsewhere, but no one really has the stamina to keep up
; ) ; )
Moreover, your friendly bookie will retire after a much
smaller Syndicate Chapter. Literally everyone and their mother gets up for the
FIFA World Cup, but the core will be able to reconnect regularly one last time
with something a bit more circumscribed. I won’t commit to when the next
chapter will commence. If the task of completing all the spreadsheets and
assembling all the Schwag Packs stretches too far into next year, we might be
on hiatus until next Summer.
What I can tell you is that the penultimate “Day 24 Recap”
post is due tomorrow. One of those gushy “Goodbyes and Championship Pick”
love-letters will follow. Note that the “Day 25 Recap” won’t be posted so as to
keep the blog’s first page neat and clean during the long dormant period. If
you’re one of the…er…one persons dying to know who ultimately wins the “Hot
Girl Standings”, you’ll simply have to wait until it’s once again time for the
Syndicate to convene. ; ) ; )
Possible Future Syndicates:
1)
U.S. 2014 Midterm Elections
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We actually did this. No really. We did! Nearly two years
ago your friendly bookie and his beloved members launched “Syndicate
Apocalypse”. We set lines for all of competitive U.S. House Races, all of the
Senate Races, and all 50 U.S. States in the Electoral College.
Coverage was broken up into three posts:
<http://shadow-scholar-syndicate.blogspot.de/2012/10/election-2012-us-house.html>
<http://shadow-scholar-syndicate.blogspot.de/2012/11/election-2012-us-senate.html>
<http://shadow-scholar-syndicate.blogspot.de/2012/11/election-2012-electoral-college.html>
Win or lose, all Syndicate Members of “Team Red”, “Team
Blue”, and “Team Ron Paul 2012 Dude!!” had a great time. Your friendly bookie
got THREE free copies of Nate Silver’s book out of it. It was frivolous fun.
The 2014 Midterms may be considerably less fun considering
there’s no nationwide election. In addition to that I’m not sure it’s worth my
time to write about Louie Gohmert. It’s probably not worth your time to read
about Louie Gohmert either. Might as well draw the conclusion that Louie
Gohmert is a waste of everyone’s time…and a waste of space. There’s really no
reason for Louie Gohmert to exist at all.
2)
2015 African Cup of Nations
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Another one we’ve done before and Christ was it a gas!!
FUCK AL-SHABAB
FUCK BOKO HARAM
FUCK ANSAR-DINE
It wasn’t one of the more chuckle-inducing Syndicates and
there are probably still at least 143 misspelled names strewn about the seven
posts. I’d gladly set lines for it again, though it would absolutely have to be
a seven-part syndicate with no dailies.
3)
2015 AFC Asian Cup
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Oh how intriguing. China, Uzebekistan, North Korea, Jordan,
Oman, Iraq, and….(wait for it)……PALESTINE! I never get a chance to write about
football in these countries, even if demand for them on the Shadow Scholar
Circuit never ceases. It runs concurrently with AFCON 2015, but it still might
be possible to run SMALL seven-part Syndicates for both.
4)
2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup
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No matter what, gentlemen. It’s only a question of scale.
Larger or smaller Syndicate? We’ll see. Either way, we’ll be there…just like
Manute Bol
Third Place Match
Brazil vs. Netherlands
vs. 
The Dutch have already surrendered. A Selecao will murder
them in a belated effort to leave a slightly less savory taste in the mouths of
their still shell shocked countrymen. Might as well play Fred. Even he can
score against the likes of Terance Kongolo, Joel Veltman, and Leroy Fer. Even
so, one of the Dutch reservists (probably de Guzman) can likely pull one back.
Kuyt may toss one in just for old time’s sake.
THE
LINE: Brazil +2 Goals
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
