Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Perrier”
Your friendly bookie remains more of a San Pellegrino man, but we’ll accord the hosts some respect for their second-rate club soda. Along with La Croix, it’s an acceptable option when the only other alternative happens to be Seltzer Water.
Day 29: Recap
Bookie’s Stats—
Spread: 48-66
Straight up: 66-32-16
What….a…..day. Two wildly entertaining Third Place Contests and a two tour-de-forces over at the AFCON. What’s a humble bookie to do when there are so many candidates to award the day to? Either the Swedes or English would qualify for their efforts.
Paulo Dybala and the Argentines could get it for fending off the Chileans in a nine-vs-nine thriller. The South Africans stood tall and booted the hosts out of their own tournament. If you’re keeping track of which team hasn’t been mentioned yet…
It has to be the Super Eagles. What a virtuosity. That was exhilarating stuff from start to finish. It edges out Argentina vs. Scotland in the FWM for your friendly bookie’s favorite fixture of the Summer. Long live football. What a game what….a….day.
So glad you’re back with us Super Eagles. Congrats to Bafana too.
A Syndicate Classic—“Bookie’s Promise”
As the bookie prepares to release a projected U.S. Win for the third consecutive Women’s World Cup, I’m obligated to remind you that I was actually wrong in 2011. In a long, rambling post to conclude FWM 2011, I declared that the match wouldn’t even be close and predicted that the U.S. would beat Japan by three goals.
Right. We all remember how that turned out. Undeterred, your friendly bookie made the same bold prediction against the same team four years later. This time he was spot on.
From FWM 2015—“Goodbyes and Championship Pick”
You’re about to win a World Championship, America. There’s little that even a tactical wizard like Ozaki can do to field an eleven that stands much of a chance against your girls. I won't bore you with the actual projections, but rest assured that I’ve taken the time to draw it up. You’ll win. You might even win big.
It’s a most wonderful feeling when the Flag of your Father captures the Title and, by extension, the world. It’s almost indescribable. All the exhaustion and pettiness of one’s otherwise perfunctory life melts away. A surge of rhapsodic fervor springs forth from deep inside. The ecstasy of victory certainly proves ephemeral, but it’s an experience that will remain unforgettable.
A few dozen Syndicate members now have the privilege of having kids. Though they may be a certifiable pain in the ass, watch this match with your progeny. Chant and cheer with them. Even if they’re far too young to form lasting memories, a World Cup Victory belongs to ALL LIVING GENERATIONS! Do your best.
If you don’t have any munchkins running around, watch the American Women hoist the trophy with your girl/wife. Should you not have one of those, get together with your best mates and some random girls to “take it out for a spin”.
You’re going to win. Grab the fucking car keys!
Buy some flags!
YOU’RE FRIENDLY BOOKIE DEMANDS THAT YOU “TAKE HER OUT FOR A SPIN!!
Get ready.
This time I REALLY MEAN IT! You won’t lose. Take her out for a spin. Make it happen, America.
USA vs. Japan
vs. 
I couldn’t be happier for Kelley O’Hara and Carli Lloyd. Two hot girls with foxy skills on the pitch are finally getting their moment after I’ve already spent an inadvertent amount of time writing about them. The latter now dons the Captain’s armband. The former scored the “Goal of the Tournament.” Well done, ladies. ; )
Lloyd, Rapinoe, and Lloyd again.
.
This one will be over with quickly.
Happy belated Fourth, America.
It was indeed over pretty quickly courtesy of Carli Lloyd. This team’s even more fearsome. Bookie says grab the car keys. Bookie says take her out for a spin.
“Riffs of the Day”—Day Twenty-Nine
Reader: I love the Senegalese national anthem. It’s so off-key in so many respects.
Vicey: Meant to pay homage to 16-M with this one too yesterday. Somehow I forgot to fit it in. Both of us have put our heads together and speculate that the reason the Senegalese national anthem sounds so weird is that it was written to be played on koras (an indigenous lute-guitar hybrid) and Balafons (an enormous wooden xylophone buttressed by gourds).
Er….16-M is the music guy, but I just don’t see how combining those two instruments can result in anything but a cacophonous mess. It would be like watching a jazz combo featuring a stand-up bass and bongo player. Still love my Lions, though ; )
Reader: The absolute highlight of Cameroon-Nigeria has to be watching Samuel Eto’o and Nwankwo Kanu sit awkwardly next to one another in the luxury box.
Vicey: Fucking aye right, 168-M I found myself somehow disappointed that there were only five goals in the match as the camera-man went directly to them every time there was a tally. At the very least I hoped we’d get extra time and penalties, because I just didn’t want to see those two go away.
Two African footballing legends watching an epic match together. Why, oh why, hasn’t no one posted a photo of these two online yet?
Bookie’s scouring the internet. Came close to posting a photo myself, but figured it really wasn’t my place.
Reader: Alex Greenwood did not just fuck up like that.
Vicey: I’m afraid she most assuredly did, 42-M. To make matters worse, she’s doing that thing where she’s yelling at everyone else as if they made the mistake. Very Hope-Solo-esque. Very disappointing.
Reader: Ellen White doesn’t get the “Hand of God” benefit.
Vicey: Yeah…that seems unfair. You’d think that karma could of made a case for its own existence at some point.
Reader: Nilla Fischer gives the best head of all.
Vicey: You’ve come full circle, 36-M. I’m so glad we could share this tournament together.
Reader: That may not have been a foul, but that quick start was fucking ingenious from Messi.
Vicey: (gushing like a school girl)
Bloody Shakespearean it was! I counted six chest bumps in that hysterically comical 37th minute “faux fight” with Gary Medel.
Whatcha gonna do about it?
No, what are YOU gonna do about it?
I asked YOU first!
No, fuck that! I asked YOU FIRST!
DAY THIRTY—PREVIEW
Get ready for U.S. Soccer’s finest hour. It’ll be the best one Americans shall ever experience. We will have a daily tomorrow, but don’t expect much text. Lines will be released in a championship pick post in a couple of minutes. Here they are for the over-enthused:
Championship Match
USA vs. the Netherlands
vs. 
Yes, you can bet. If you’re betting with this bookie, however, you’ll have to meet a high line.
THE LINE: USA +3 Goals (debuting)
Championship Match
Brazil vs. Peru
vs. 
You have to watch this one as well. I don’t care if the Spanish language broadcast is all you can get.
THE LINE: Brazil +1 Goal (debuting)
Congo DR vs. Madagascar
vs. 
We have our first “flip” line of the Summer. Surely we’ve reached some sort of upset quota at the AFCON.
THE LINE: Congo DR +1 Goal (rolling hard and flipping from Madagascar +1)
Algeria vs. Guinea
vs. 
We’ll roll down here for a pick. To those who don’t recall, a shootout win counts for bettor.
THE LINE: Pick em’ (rolling down soft from Guinea +1)
Championship Match
USA vs. Mexico
vs. 
Two trophy lifts in one day, gentlemen. Your friendly bookie even makes it easy for you with a low line.
THE LINE: USA +1 Goal (debuting)
GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS
