Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Heineken 0.0”
This dog don’t bite ;
)
Day 1: Recap
Record—
Spread: 1-0
Straight up: 1-0-0
Hot
Girl Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
Russia
|
9
|
1
|
Saudi Arabia
|
2
|
1
|
Great day for football globally, not to mention the bookie’s
pocketbook. Virtually all the overnight cash came in on the overrated Saudis. Don’t
mess with a bookie who has a Rabbi consecrate his lines ; )
One down and sixty-three to go. A worthy match awaits those
who haven’t caught up yet. You’ll also be treated to further than 234 candid
shots of awkward exchanges between Putin, bin Salman, and Infantini in the booth.
It gets far weirder than this past second half injury time.
S.S.S.
Tactical Breakdown
Russo-Philes rejoice as we’ll take a look at Cherchesov’s
starting arrangement. Far more aggressive than I had anticipated. Note that the
goals mostly came courtesy of the adjustments made after the Dzagoev injury. We’ll
discuss that in greater depth below.
Lineup—Russia—PROJECTED
(5-3-2) (5/26/18)
Artem Dzyuba Fyodor Smolov
|
Alan
Dzagoev
|
A. Golovin D. Cheryshev A. Yerokhin
|
Yuri Zhirkov
Alexsandr Samedov
|
F. Kudryashov S. Ingnashevich I.
Smolnikov
|
Igor Akinfeev
|
Lineup—Russia—ACTUAL
(4-2-3-1) (6/14/2018)
Fyodor Smolov
|
A. Golovin Alan Dzagoez A. Samedov
|
Yury Gazinsky Roman Zobnin
|
Yuri Zhirkov
Mario Fernandes
|
S. Ingnashevich I. Kuetpov
|
Igor Akinfeev
|
Here’s how it looked to me. Honestly didn’t think Zobnin
would have been ready by now. Gazinsky’s instructions are something of a
mystery, seeing as I saw him and Zobnin switch fields often. Smolov and Samedov
looked like decoys meant to draw attention away from Golovin. Of course it’s
difficult to say. Golovin may have inherited the lead striker role after the 24th
minute substitution while Fernandes and Samedov switched.
Golovin certainly made the case for start as
short-or-lead-striker in the next match. He directly set up three of the five
goal and even bent in a blazer himself. The immensely talented CSKA kid had his
way with virtually every challenger all afternoon. Precise crossing and crisp passing
as well. Looks like he’s finally arrived. I actually projected Cheryshev, the
only Russian outfielder to play outside the domestic league to start. Prior to
today I’d never even heard of Gazinsky. Amazing how much that injury altered
the lineup for the better. He should get the nod next time
Cherchesov will be overjoyed that he got veterans like Atrem
Dzyuba and Yuri Zhirkov involved early. Dzyuba in particular needed a
confidence boost. The towering Zenit St. Petersburg Striker, fawned upon by your
friendly bookie two years ago, got viciously cut down in his prime by a savage
injury that nearly ended his career. It’s been a long road back for him. Good
to see him back at all. Zhirkov also played an excellent match. He hasn’t lost
much, and that’s more great news for the underdog hosts.
I’ll still caution against anyone ready to hop on the Ruskie
Platform. Recall that they were playing a remorselessly atrocious team. Your
ten-year-old niece’s team could have scored twice against these godawful
Saudis. Things get more much more difficult
now, though the schedule should still enable them to advance.
S.S.S.
Half-Assed Culture Minute
If you’re interested in learning more about some of the
younger players whom we’ll encounter further on in this tournament, there’s
this fascinating documentary series called “Phenoms” that recently premiered.
Beautifully scored and shot over the course of two years, it follows the progress
of the next generation of young footballers attempting to earn a place their
respective national sides in time for this tournament. Syndicate mainstays know that your friendly bookie
could never get through a country’s write-up without expending at least a
paragraph on the team’s new “Phenom(s)”. He genuinely lovers that word, and is
by no means unique in doing so. Everyone wants to speculate on who the next
star will be.
A show like this sucks you in with the backstories of kids
from all over the world and keeps you absorbed with a longitudinal chronicle of
their struggles with injury, form, transfers, and life in general. It’s great
for both football fans and those who just love a good human interest story. Most
of the countries participating in this competition are allotted a full episode.
The Russian one apparently covers Zobnin and the Miranchuk twins among others.
No, “Phenoms” can’t rightly be said to be anywhere close to
the footballing equivalent of the Greatest Documentary Film ever produced.
That distinction still—and likely forever shall—belongs to “Hoop Dreams”. It’s
still worth a look.
Don’t even try to debate me on “Hoop Dreams”, brothers. You
won’t win. You know this. Might as well try and talk me out of Sauerkraut and Sunshine. It ain't happening.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day One
Reader:
Where’s Shakira, Vicey. You promised me Shakira!
Vicey:
I did indeed, brother. Sorry to make you settle for Robbie Williams and Aida
Garifullina instead. That was actually the tamest FIFA Opener I’ve ever seen.
It bordered on classy. An opera Soprano in a white dress? Tchaikovski?? Only
four pole-dancing contortionists? Was Lianne Hegemann really that hard of a ‘get’?
Reader:
Yaweh’s blessed lines triumphed over Allah.
Vicey:
Bwahahahaha
And….zing…33-M!
Blessings
and peace be upon you.
Reader:
Vice. Instead of re-posting your old jokes, why not just use the same ones? No
one will know the difference.
Vicey:
Hmmmm…Been ruminating over that tidbit of wisdom for several days. Guess I just
like a good challenge, even if it’s detrimental to overall syndicate quality.
Besides that, I think I’m boring enough without self-plaigarism. That’ll do.
Reader:
Nice job on the morbid German Death Rant, Vicey. Now you’ve killed Anthony
Bourdain.
Vicey:
Been hanging on to that one for several days too. Er…someone unfamiliar with us
Syndicate Members might not know that we’ve all punched our ticket to hell
quite some time ago. You can’t smite us. We’ve already done been smote. We be
slap-happy smitten.
DAY TWO--PREVIEW
Uruguay vs. Egypt
vs. 
Have we gotten enough updates on Salah’s shoulder today?
Christ! The country’s fate rests upon them…or not. Cuper can still use his
strong defensive acumen to keep the scoreline low. He might even do well to sit
him.
Bookie has no fear. The line holds.
THE
LINE: Uruguay +1 Goal (holding)
Morocco vs. Iran
vs. 
About equal money coming in on both sides here. Still far
too tepid interest for what should be a great match. Over/Under on the amount
of goals stands at two. Over/Under on the amount of added “Post Goal Prayer
Time” debuts at 6 minutes.
THE
LINE: Pick em’ (holding)
Portugal vs. Spain
vs. 
I cannot believe so many of you are sticking with the Spanish.
Jump into the Atlantic already. Fire Ships are headed your way! This wasn’t a
good team even before the dismissal. Most of the Spanish stars this year are Real
players who liked their coach. Abandon ship!
Tempted to roll this line up or close betting, but I’ll
maintain the projection.
THE
LINE: Portugal +2 Goals (holding)
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
