Your “Syndicate
Hangover” is proudly presented by “Heineken 0.0”
All of the calories
and none of the intoxication!
This dog don’t bite ;
)
Day 10: Recap
Record—
Spread: 11-18
Straight up: 18-8-3
Hot
Girl Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
Sweden
|
24
|
2
|
Mexico
|
23
|
2
|
Brazil
|
20
|
2
|
Iceland
|
19
|
2
|
Russia
|
19
|
2
|
Spain
|
19
|
2
|
Argentina
|
17
|
2
|
Iran
|
16
|
2
|
Egypt
|
15
|
2
|
Nigeria
|
15
|
2
|
Croatia
|
15
|
2
|
Belgium
|
15
|
2
|
Germany
|
15
|
2
|
Tunisia
|
15
|
2
|
South Korea
|
15
|
2
|
Denmark
|
14
|
2
|
Australia
|
14
|
2
|
Morocco
|
13
|
2
|
Portugal
|
12
|
2
|
Switzerland
|
12
|
2
|
Serbia
|
12
|
2
|
Costa Rica
|
12
|
2
|
Peru
|
10
|
2
|
Poland
|
9
|
1
|
Uruguay
|
9
|
2
|
Senegal
|
8
|
1
|
Columbia
|
8
|
1
|
France
|
8
|
2
|
Saudi Arabia
|
7
|
2
|
Panama
|
6
|
1
|
Japan
|
6
|
1
|
England
|
3
|
1
|
Verfickte Überscheiße! That about sums up the German mood
right now. Notice how subdued the fans were after Kroos’s wunderstrike? No
other country on earth would find itself in such dour a mood after such a
scintillating late goal. Why, you ask? Syndicate members know full well why.
I’ll reiterate for the uninitiated.
We expect the Semi-Finals from our team. Always. We
don’t necessarily demand the title. We do, however, insist upon the maximum
number matches. Precious few opportunities for Germans to gather in large
crowds and wave their flags about. Six times per Summer in World Cup years,
please. That’s the deal. Keep your end of the bargain or find a new job.
After today it’s clear we’ll have to temper our
expectations. We’ll be out in full force to support our Nationalmannschaft on
Wednesday, reconciled to the fact that it may be our last chance for quite some
time.
Ouch. The whole day’s been a literal kick in the teeth.
S.S.S.
Tactical Breakdown
Plenty of talking points supplied by the Belgians and
Mexicans today. I’ve rather enjoyed parsing through all the other countries
throughout this tournament. Looking forward to continuing that ongoing project.
We’ll get to all 32, brothers. Eventually we’ll get to all 126 lineups used
prior to the Final and all contrast them with all the original projections.
There’s still only one national eleven that we discuss on
these days.
It’s “Matchday in the Fatherland” and the news isn’t
encouraging. Your friendly bookie preferred the performance he witnessed in the
opening loss against El Tri.
Lineup—Deutschland—Match
One (4-2-3-1) (6/17/18)
Timo Werner
|
Julian
Draxler Toni Kroos Thomas Müller
|
Sami Khedira Meshut
Özil
|
Marvin
Plattenhardt Joshua Kimmich
|
Mats Hummels Jerome Boateng
|
Manuel Neuer
|
Lineup—Deutschland—Match
Two (4-3-2-1) (6/23/18)
Timo Werner
|
Marco Reus Thomas Müller
|
Toni Kroos Sebastian Rudy
|
Julian Draxler
|
Jonas Hector J. Boateng A. Rüdiger Joshua Kimmich
|
Manuel Neuer
|
Löw’s attempt to shore up the gaping holes in central
defense. He dropped his most dynamic player all the way back in the hopes that
he could catch up with runaway counters while Boateng and Rüdiger continued to
press forward around the edges of the box. We’ll never truly know if it might
have worked as the boot to Rudy’s face threw the whole system out of whack.
Seemed a little desperate if you ask this bookie. Dropping
Özil was expected, but he could have slotted Khedira in that role whilst
keeping Draxler involved in the offense. Ginter or Süle in front of the
centerbacks might have been a good choice too. Putting Draxler at the top of
that triangle seemed to throw him off. He obviously had no clue how to handle
the assignment. We heard virtually nothing from him the whole first half.
The first twenty minutes or so provided some encouragement,
but the uncertainty involved with whether Rudy would be able to re-enter
rattled Kroos horribly. I’ve not seen him have such a bad game since the Euro
2012 Semi-Finals. The giveaway that led to Sweden’s goal remained unforgiveable
right up until his last second technical redemption.
Not quite sure what to make of the fifteen minutes between
Gündogan’s insertion and halftime. It looked like Reus moved up to pair with
Werner while Müller kept a line with Rüdiger and Ilkay. In any event it was a
sordid mess. No one appeared confident on the ball or aerial challenges. Kroos
continued to crumble and most of the passes were in the wrong direction.
Some success early in the second half as they slid Werner
out to the left flank, moved Reus central, and deployed Gomez at striker in a more
stabilizing 4-4-2. Mostly they worked around the 18 trying to paint too pretty
a picture, generating some quality chances but also demonstrating some
amateurish attempts at finishing. Gut-wrenching hesitance from Gündogan and
still more awful mental errors from Kroos.
Creativity seemed conspicuously absent. Dominance of
possession yielded little more than a great deal of slow dribbling and futile
attempts at thread passes. The ideas simply weren’t there. Neither was any
sense of assurance or aplomb.
I know it wasn’t easy to hit the striking targets with
inswingers; not with as many as eight hulking Swedes laying back in the box.
Nevertheless, the attack was too centralized. This was precisely the problem in
the Mexico match. We couldn’t establish the lateral game and got torched on
several up-the-middle counters as a result. At least they had some ideas in the
Mexico Match. Frazzled and nervy, they seemed devoid of any artistic mettle
today.
Ugh. Let’s get to the grades and save my stomach further
churning. All subs were a factor, for better or worse.
GRADES—Deutschland
(Match One)
Joshua Kimmich
|
A+
|
Jerome Boateng
|
A+
|
Toni Kroos
|
A
|
Mats Hummels
|
A
|
Julian Draxler
|
A
|
Manuel Neuer
|
A
|
Julian Brandt
|
A
|
Thomas Müller
|
A-
|
Marco Reus
|
B+
|
Sami Khedira
|
B
|
Timo Werner
|
B-
|
Marvin
Plattenhardt
|
B-
|
Mario Gomez
|
C
|
Meshut Özil
|
C-
|
GRADES—Deutschland
(Match Two)
Manuel Neuer
|
A
|
Julian Brandt
|
A
|
Marco Reus
|
B+
|
Sebastian Rudy
|
B
|
Jonas Hector
|
B
|
Joshua Kimmich
|
B-
|
Mario Gomez
|
C+
|
Timo Werner
|
C
|
Antonio Rüdiger
|
C-
|
Toni Kroos
|
C-
|
Jerome Boateng
|
D+
|
Ilkay Gündogan
|
D
|
Julian Draxler
|
D
|
Thomas Müller
|
D
|
No grading on the curve here after what we just witnessed.
Kroos saved our ass from almost certain elimination but has to get a C- because
he was downright awful in midfield for most of that match and was the one most
responsible for Toivonen’s goal. I agree with the Bild Zeitung. His goal was
indeed “Kroosartig”. Everything else was just torrid.
Rüdiger put in some very hard work defensively and even
directed a few attacks, but lost possession too many times. Boateng again did
amazingly on the assaults, executed several life-saving tackles, and was an
absolute stud for most of the game….until he did his best impression of his
dolt half-brother and got himself suspended with that un-needed and un-useful
second challenge that led to the second yellow.
Expectations are higher this year, Jungs. Don’t toy with
your loyal and loving fans sincere desire to get out and support you! We do
this together every Summer. The flags are hung. The windows are bedecked.
Fanmilen are set up in every city. Public Viewing is available in even the
smallest Dorfs. We’re all out for you to show up and play. Even if you don’t
win, we expect your most earnest and exhausting effort. Today doesn’t suffice.
WIR sind Deutschland! Wir stehen auf EURE Seite. Und wir
holen den Sieg MIT euch!
Moving forward, we’ll have to reconcile ourselves to a
shorter tournament. As talented and dangerous as this team is, they’re really not
a threat unless they get an early goal. They crack all too easily under the
pressure. It’s surely only a matter of time before they come undone. Suppose
that’s just how it goes when defending a World Championship.
Boateng’s boots won’t be so easy to fill. Ostensibly, Süle
can step up just like he did last Summer and the rest of the team can play
themselves into form. The points were attained. They got a much needed
confidence boost and will undoubtedly get another one against a weak opponent
in the final group stage match. There’s so much talent. All they really need is
to get the pressure off and start playing more loosely and inventively.
It can get better….but this oddsmaker just isn't optimistic.
S.S.S.
Half-Assed Culture Minute
Yes, I taped “Nossa Chape”. Of course I taped it! It’s
fucking Jeffery Zimbalist, the acclaimed filmmaker who brought us masterpieces
like “The Two Escobars” and “Favela Rising”. I taped it. I’ll watch it. I’m
sure I’ll love it. Last night’s semi-tongue-in-cheek rant about “Documentary Overload”
notwithstanding, your friendly bookie really can’t refuse them.
Even at the end
of a long day that leaves me craving nothing more than something light and
brainless to watch, I opt for the documentary film over the stupid movie, just
like I’ll opt for the Economist over a light fictional read.
I’m a hopeless idiot. I concern myself with the problems of
the world, wounding myself entirely too tightly for no fucking rational reason
other than the fact that I’m a hopeless idiot. You guys know this about me.
You’ve known all along that I’m a hopeless idiot. Vicey only allows himself
some irreverent fun during the football tournaments because, as I believe I
might have mentioned before, I’m a goddamned hopeless idiot.
Right. Glad we established that. All the talk of “Nossa
Chape” does get me thinking about some good fictionalized film recommendations.
Zimbalist’s latest project chronicles the story of a town and a club’s recovery
from an air disaster that killed 71 members of the football club in 2016. I
don’t yet know how this film will address a familiar story, but I’m sure it
will do so profoundly and deeply.
Other very well done fictional films chronicle similar
incidents like the 1970 Southern Airways 932 Crash (“We are Marshall”) and the
1960 Munich Convair Disaster (“United”). Both films are good, but the latter
was really excellent considering it was a low-budget made-for-TV movie produced
by the BBC in 2011. You can watch the entire thing on Youtube for free. Good
acting and a decent script was all that was really needed to tell the story of
the unfortunate Initial Busby Babes.
These stories are endearing to us because they deal with the
need for all of us to somehow find a way to keep moving resiliently forward in
the face of extreme tragedy. This need is especially acute in the Sports
Context, where everyone relies upon the comforting knowledge that the games
must go on. Check out “United”. It’s surely not as heavy as “Nossa Chape”. I’ll
get to that later.
Weighing
in on VAR
Was
it a penalty, Vicey? Was it a penalty, Vicey? Was it a penalty, Vicey?
Reviewed it several times and I believe the answer is yes.
Boateng challenge on Berg’s breakaway wasn’t a flagrant professional foul, but
he did miss the ball entirely. Either the ref had a bad angle or thought Berg
went to ground too easily.
In any event, he tripped him up on a clear goal
scoring opportunity. Swedish fans have a right to be pissed.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Ten
Reader:
Instead of picking his nose, Löw should have picked Sané.
Vicey:
Er…we do “original riffs” here at the Syndicate, 56-M. Don’t plagiarize what
I’ve spontaneously elected to label the “Meme-o-Sphere”. Memes are the vaginal
queefs of riffs.
…but
I appreciate the effort ; )
Reader:
Jimmy Durmaz is a lumberjack and he’s okay.
Vicey:
That’s better
Zing…146-M!
Reader:
You came after Kroos scored, didn’t you?
Vicey:
No. I did scare the shit out of the cats, though. Haven’t seen them since. Mauser
came within centimeters of getting squashed.
Reader:
You’re perfectly set up for a re-match with Brazil. I’m sure they’ll be pleased
to see you guys in such great form!
Vicey:
(hiding underneath the couch with the cat)
Reader:
Your team is worse at finishing than you after a bottle of Jamesons.
Vicey:
She’s here. It wouldn’t be Summer without her ; ) Love ya, hon.
Reader:
It all comes to an end in Russia of all places.
Vicey:
At least it didn’t happen in Volgograd.
Reader:
Even shorthanded, it’s impossible to kill you Germans.
Vicey:
Don’t hate us. Hate only makes us stronger. Okay…not really. We just want a few
more matches. Then we’ll go away. Stop being so Italian and bitter, 33-M.
Reader:
I might have to go to church tomorrow. There might be a God.
Vicey:
13-M brings us in for the landing. We barely escaped our solemn dance with the
Macabre. The eternal oblivion of an endless night beckoned. The
slow-suffocation of our terminus filled our nostrils with the acrid stench of
the grave. The horror of permanent non-existence flashed before our eyes as
they light grew dimmer. All of our life’s accrued wisdom and knowledge faded
away into a dark, cold, and unforgiving ether from whence it could never be retrieved.
Yup.
It truly was in every sense a “German Day”.
DAY ELEVEN—PREVIEW
England vs. Panama
vs. 
Guess confidence is building that St George might be the
next team to erupt. No one’s feeling a subdued Anglo victory. We shall see. Is
this “Prince Harry’s” year?
THE
LINE: England +3 Goals (rolling up soft from England +2)
Japan vs. Senegal
vs. 
More to this fixture than just candid shots of Aliou Cisse.
Okay maybe there’s not much more than that if you’re not a football über-fan.
Japanese hotties in the stands?
Look just watch it. A solid matchup between two peaking
teams.
THE
LINE: Senegal +1 Goal (holding)
Poland vs. Columbia
vs. 
Deep breaths, Polish Syndicate Contingent. With the Wops and
Yanks gone, you’re the bookie’s largest WM Ethnic Block!
The line rolls up slightly.
THE
LINE: Poland +1 Goal (rolling up soft from pick)
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
