Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Perrier”
Your friendly bookie remains more of a San Pellegrino man, but we’ll accord the hosts some respect for their second-rate club soda. Along with La Croix, it’s an acceptable option when the only other alternative happens to be Seltzer Water.
Day 3: Recap
Bookie’s Stats—
Spread: 4-3
Straight up: 5-2-0
Somehow it’s managed to be both a great day for the Philly Contingent AND the bookie. Congratulations to all the Italian fans on your first major redemption in nearly three years. Bookie finds himself simply too even to bother with our time-honored ethnic slurs. What a great day of football! Those lovely Lionesses that I tapped as favorites played orgasmically awesome. I also got to see Eniola Aluko debut as a studio analyst.
But, nevermind all that. This day belongs to you, dearest dago brethren. Loved how those ladies belted out “Il Canto degli Italiani”.
“Uniamoci, amaimoci, l’unione e l’amore”
“La dilletta l’amoruccio, Tu sei il mio grande amore”
Yes, yes. The official tournament sweethearts. ; )
S.S.S. Tactical Breakdown 
Is it too early to write off the Aussies? Bookie says it’s never too soon. If you happen to be sensing a tactical rant on the horizon….you’re probably Syndicate Member 78-M. Ante Millicic says he likes his system. Bookie demurs. His system sucks.
We’ll also check in with bookie’s selected tournament favorites, the Limeys. If you haven’t had a chance to see them yet, they play football both pretty and scary at the same time. Great stuff. Good times.
Lineup—Australia—PROJECTED (4-3-3) (5/28/2019)
Caitlin Foord Lisa De Vanna Samantha Kerr
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Hayley Raso Emily van Egmond
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Elise Kellond-Knight
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Ellie Carpenter Steph Catley
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C. Polkinghorne A. Kennedy
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Lydia Williams
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Lineup—Australia—Match One (5-4-1) (6/9/2019)
Samantha Kerr
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Caitlin Foord Hayley Raso
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Chloe Logzaro Tameka Yallop
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Ellie Carpenter Emily van Egmond Steph Catley
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C. Polkinghorne A. Kennedy
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Lydia Williams
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Looks like the Australian FA may have picked the wrong man for the job…again. There was certainly no need for this. It makes no sense. The Matildas boast enough ultra-fast attacking options to obviate the need for an inward-collapsing formation that relies on a patient buildup from the back. Kerr doesn’t need to be all alone up there and she certainly doesn’t need to be a center forward.
Kerr should be given at least the opportunity to carve out space for herself on one of the wings. She’s more comfortable there. Either Lisa De Vanna or even Emily Gielnik can handle the central duties. If Milicic insists on keeping his star striker at the same spot, he would do well to instruct Raso and Foord to flank her on the same axis, and make doubly sure that no one else tries to crowd them. Got that? Leave the girls alone!
“Crowding” remains a subject of profound disdain for your friendly bookie as the infuriating thing about such formations is that they end up turning into wholly ineffective 4-1-4-1s or even more absurd 4-2-4s. Such was the case in a first half during which the Matildas lorded over possession, but couldn’t produce the put-away-goal.
Kerr, Foord, and Raso operated just fine when allowed to triangulate unperturbed. Carpenter and Catley were actually pretty good out of the back as well. To me it looked to get messy when Logzaro and Yallop tried to get too involved. After a slew of early chances and an overall strong first half, they mostly ended up just making the Italian defenders’ jobs too easy.
Not the grades I was expecting to file for one of the tournament favorites. All subs a factor.
Grades—Australia (Match One)
Hayley Raso
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A
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Ellie Carpenter
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A
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Steph Catley
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A
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Caitlin Foord
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A-
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Ellise Kellond-Knight
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B+
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Katrina Gorry
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B
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Chloe Logzaro
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B
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Emily van Egmond
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B
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Alanna Kennedy
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B
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Tameka Yallop
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C+
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Lisa De Vanna
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C
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Lydia Williams
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C
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Samantha Kerr
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C-
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Claire Polkinghorne
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D
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It’s Generally not a good sign when your captain and talisman gets a C-minus. What can I say? Kerr embellished her fall to draw that penalty, provided a weak first effort, and also failed to contest Bonansea on that last-minute goal. I considered docking her further for the halfhearted attempt at a Timmy Cahill “Kaiserslautern K.O.” goal celebration, but realized that would just be unnecessarily petty. Claire Polkinghorne, on the other hand, probably should have gotten an F for her giveaway, failure to clear off the line, and poor sportsmanship in making that tacky dive gesture. Tried to give her the benefit of the doubt.
Kerr will rebound and so will the Matildas. They remain heavy favorites against the Brazilians on Thursday. Even without Mary Fowler—whom we might still see debut—there remain plenty of bright spots on this team. It’s just that we’ve been down this road countless times with Aussie tactics. I’d scratch them off the list of title contenders.
No Sam! No! Don’t do Cahill! Do you.
That’s better. More of that.
Lineup—England—PROJECTED (5-3-2) (5/31/2019)
Fran Kirby Toni Duggan
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Beth Mead Jodie Taylor Nikita Parris
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Karen Carney
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Demi Stokes Lucy Bronze
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Alex Greenwood Steph Houghton
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Karen Bardsley
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Lineup—England—Match One (4-3-2-1) (6/9/2019)
Ellen White
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Beth Mead Nikita Parris
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Keira Walsh Jill Scott Fran Kirby
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Alex Greenwood Lucy Bronze
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Steph Houghton Millie Bright
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Karen Bardsley
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Fascinating. That’s why we love football. Expect the unexpected in these tournaments. Though it had been apparent, at least to those of us following England friendlies after the 2019 SheBelieves Cup, that Phil Neville was engaging in some tinkering, the England manager supplied something most unexpected here. This is evidently an English thing now; rather like the requirement that national managers suddenly must be clad in navy blue buttoned-up vests and shiny striped ties. Seriously. We get it already. You’re done with the foreign coaches. YOUR coaches can wear track suits again.
Perhaps Neville seeks to emulate colleague Gareth Southgate in both lineup selection and wardrobe. We all recall how we rubbed our eyes in disbelief when we first encountering that bizarre 3-1-4-2 last summer. Jordan Henderson running things out of the back? Deli Alli and Jesse Lingard inward? A badly slumping Raheem Sterling on the right buttressed by Kieran Trippier? Worked out fairly well until the semis.
I digress. Let’s unpack the surprises, beginning with the exclusion of Toni Duggan. An obvious masterstroke by Neville in giving both Ellen White and Jill Scott the starting nod. Both of them began racking up plenty of style points from the opening whistle onward. In terms of the midfield, I particularly like how coordinated and disciplined the midfielders on the third axis appear to be when it comes to entering the box. Depending on White’s positioning, Walsh, Kirby, and Scott organize their passing well and float in an out of the danger area with ease. Quite beautiful to observe.
Nikita Paris starting on the right is simply ingenious. To think I hesitated about shifting her out to pair with Bronze on the same vertical axis. Now I can’t imagine it any other way. Looks like we’re in for a long summer of “La Femme Nikita” references. Man can that 22-year-old can move! Watching her tear up that right flank all afternoon proved a real treat. Even when working with exceedingly tight space, she initiated some truly spectacular give-and-gos. She dekes like a veteran and finishes with a confident flourish. Wow. Wicked good she is.
I honestly thought we’d see Demi Stokes at Left back with Greenwood brought in center. No matter. This arrangement works much better. Houghton can still do great work with both Bright and Houghton, considering how she controls so much of the possession. The defensive ranks did get caught with their foot of the gas pedal later in the match, but I think that had more to do with McManus substitution. Even if they were playing at half speed, so what? It looks to be a long tournament. Might as well conserve some energy now.
Very high marks for the lovely Lionessess. They retain their status as favorites in my opinion. Georgia Stanway wasn’t an influence after her late introduction.
Grades—England (Match One)
Ellen White
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A+
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Karen Bardsley
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A+
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Nikita Parris
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A+
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Lucy Bronze
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A+
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Alex Greenwood
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A
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Jill Scott
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A-
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Millie Bright
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A-
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Beth Mead
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B+
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Steph Houghton
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B+
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Karen Carney
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B
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Fran Kirby
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B
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Keira Walsh
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B
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Abbie McManus
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C-
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Poor Steph Houghton would have had an A+ game were it not for that silly pass that led to the late Scotland goal. For those wondering why she wasn’t downgraded further, it’s because she really tried to hustle back and win the ball back. Keira Walsh was the one who essentially gave up on chasing after the possession change. The late tally was more her fault than Steph’s.
A very big fan of the hard work Alex Greenwood put in on the left this afternoon. Can’t say I’m a big fan of the jumbo fake eyelashes she clearly bought at the dollar store, but what do I know about fashion? Ellen White still shines bright. Beautiful curl on that finish. Lee Alexander didn’t stand a chance. Walsh earned late demerits for the late goal. Otherwise she had a great match. Kirby impressed as well, but failed to finish on a couple of occasions.
This looks to be the strongest XI, but we’ll likely see at three or four changes against Argentina on Friday. This bench is deep and Neville will have more experimenting to do against the group’s weakest opponent.
Weighing in on VAR
Should we be reviewing handballs?
Tonight’s topic: Women handling balls. Each of today’s matches featured women purportedly handling balls inappropriately within their own box. As you surely agree, there is a very right and very wrong to approach the highly sensitive subjective matter of “handling balls within the box”.
Alright that’s enough, gentlemen. You got you daily entendre, gentlemen Let’s move on.
I actually think VAR got it right twice and wrong once. Lisa De Vanna was clearly trying to tuck her arm in. It was worth checking the review to make sure that no-call was the right call, even if it did disrupt the flow of the match a bit. Additionally, and I know many will disagree, I think the penalty awarded in the England match was spot on as well. Docherty’s arm was obviously outstretched AFTER Kirby let fly with the shot. Definitely a penalty. We wouldn’t have gotten the call without review.
VAR would have gone 3 for 3 had they used it to overturn Chantelle Swaby’s handball in the Jamaica-Brazil match. That was unintentional. A less than perfect day for technology. I’ll nevertheless aver that we should be using review in these cases. It’s often clear whether the defender tried to get out of the way or not on the tape. Some now say that footballers will be forced to place their hands behind their backs in certain situations. Duh….yes. They should! I always did. It’s called fair play!
“Riffs of the Day”—Day Three
Reader: Is there some rule that all female players must be described as “livewires?
Vicey: I’m of the same mind, 14-F. Never heard a man described as a “livewire” in my life. Nothing in the etymology of that word suggests estrogen.
Reader: Italia, Italia!
Vicey: Let it all out you numberless Members. You’ve waited so long.
Reader: Ugliest uniforms? Australia or Jamaica?
Vicey: This isn’t a Paul Lukas column, but I’ll weigh in nonetheless. Australia by a fucking country mile. Is it 1994 down under?
Reader: What's with Alex Greenwood's eyelashes?
Vicey: Oh thank the fuck christ. I thought it was just me.
Reader: Don’t underestimate Italian women.
Vicey: Shut up, mom! You’re not a damn Syndicate Member. In fact, you never even said that. I’m just having an imaginary conversation with you in my head because…Freud.
DAY FOUR--PREVIEW
Argentina vs. Japan
vs. 
Looks like some of you are waiting for the Copa America to wager on your Samurai. Fair enough. It was a high line anyway, even against an unknown.
THE LINE: Japan +3 Goals (holding)
Canada vs. Cameroon
vs. 
We desperately need some Africa power in this tournament. It has to happen I’m sticking with this line, even if most of the money came in on the Maples.
THE LINE: Canada +1 Goal (holding)
GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS
