Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Perrier”
Your friendly bookie remains more of a San Pellegrino man, but we’ll accord the hosts some respect for their second-rate club soda. Along with La Croix, it’s an acceptable option when the only other alternative happens to be Seltzer Water.
Day 20: Recap
Bookie’s Stats—
Spread: 35-41
Straight up: 48-19-9
Football fans have been waiting for this moment for so goddamned long. Mohammed Salah with the stunner in front of a full home stadium. It’s your day, brother!
Careful not to have conversations with “questionable females” or the Egyptian F.A. will suspend you.
A Syndicate Classic—“In Defense of the ‘Football Season”
Quarterfinal Lines for two tournaments drop tonight, so we’ll roll with a re-post.
I’m told there’s a Presidential debate tonight and I’m told I should care. You rubes know better than to mess with your voracious reading bookie during the Summer International tournaments. The sad irony of what I’ve already termed the “World’s Worst 24-team-tournament” is that, in the final analysis, it’s actually only one team—our team—tearing itself apart. To make matters worse, we’ve got another year or so of this left to go.
Do we really need to pay close attention to at this point? If the Democrats nominate the reanimated corpse of Heinrich Himmler, I’d vote for it. If you’re preparing a self-righteous lecture on why your social media musings are, in reality, saving democracy….you’re likely not one of my members. You’re probably one of the whiny little emo kids who got us into this mess in the in the first place.
Members know of their bookie’s hopeless inability to cancel his Economist subscription. I’ve tried, but I keep re-upping. During the summer internationals, however, it collects dust
From WM 2018—Syndicate OSINT
Relax. Suspend. Accept. Surrender.
Postpone the “Weary World Worrying”. Resign your position as “The Great Universal Geo-political Manager”. Inactivate the outrage and indignation. Yield to the merriment and frivolity of the mellifluous days ahead.
One cannot deny that there’s much wrong with the world today and one might even proffer a robust argument that everything sucks precisely because most of the population gravitates towards silly distractions like this tournament. Na und?
“No one’s paying enough attention to the real problems,” say the people who tend to have difficulty managing their own. “We want to talk about the REAL issues,” moan the irritating chatterboxes who manufacture wholly unimportant issues for a living. “What about the terrible political consequences of FIFA’s current corrupt regime?” add people…well….people like my contrarian self on a bad day, but I’m willing to put that issue on the backburner for now.
Sadly, the Science of Proving Misery isn’t one of the more useful disciplines. Moreover, it’s a pretty damn lazy science. At the end of the day, the only thing that even the most elegantly constructed proof happens to be yourself. Your friendly bookie remains an unabashed Geo-Politics Junkie who excels at identifying disconcerting trends, but even he knows when to shut the hell up and enjoy a good show. There’s a time and a place for everything.
To hell with the “New Global Order”! For that matter, what’s the mis-prioritizing fuck is a bleeding bartender doing ruminating over the “New Global Order”? Christ I embarrass myself at times. Though it’s a great pleasure and privilege to inform yourself and learn about the world, one simply has to take a step back from all of the über-wonk analysis and ask if the big picture even makes basic logical sense.
vs. 
Riiight. Sure thing, guys. You let me know when you figure that out. In the meantime, we’ve got football to watch.
Simply stated, the FIFA World Cup is the “Greatest Fucking Show on Earth”. Nothing else comes close to unifying the planet than this quadrennial Festival celebrating the beautiful game that nearly every human being on the planet has played at some time. To miss out on it become of some snobbish pretensions concerning the sport, the host country, or your current socio-economic status would be a criminal waste of the one precious life you’ve been given.
Got that? We’ll talk politics later….or maybe not.
“Riffs of the Day”—Day Twenty
Reader: Why did Tobin Heath get her goal taken away?
Vicey: Because God doesn’t exist…but we knew that already. Take a second look. Andersson redirects it in.
Reader: I want to dance with the Guinean fans.
Vicey: I feel you, 72-M. One day we shall, my man. One day we shall.
Reader: Hard to tell the Zimbabwean and Ugandan flags apart.
Vicey: Understandable. All those vertical stripes make for bad OpArt. Bookie has found himself not wanting to know the difference.
Reader: You write faster than anyone can read.
Vicey: That’s why you pick up the phone, 133-M. You’re not supposed to read everything. There isn’t a test at the end!
Reader: I wish I had started following women’s football ten years earlier.
Vicey: Don’t look back, 68-M. You’re not going that way. None of us are going that way. I don’t know where we’re going, but we’re not going that way. ; )
DAY TWENTY-ONE—PREVIEW
The Quarters arrive on two continents. Wait for the posts if you need reasoning, which you don’t.
England vs. Norway
vs. 
What a match! Did you happen to know that the Norway won the second installment of the Women’s World Cup back in 1995? Thought I’d throw that in there.
THE LINE: England +1 Goal (debuting)
Brazil vs. Paraguay
vs. 
Can’t think of a bigger mismatch to kick off the South American knockout rounds. Also, I can’t think of any more Fernando Lugo jokes.
THE LINE: Brazil +3 Goals (debuting)
Madagascar vs. Burundi
vs. 
Never gave the Burundians much of a chance heading into this competition. Now I’ve got them possibly placing second in some of my longer-term projections. Africa just rocks.
THE LINE: Burundi +1 Goal (holding)
Senegal vs. Algeria
vs. 
We’re going to pick at least one correct champion in this summer’s three tournaments. Very confident in these Lions.
THE LINE: Senegal +2 Goals (holding)
Tanzania vs. Kenya
vs. 
Still room for a few more wagers if anyone wishes to exploit my pride.
THE LINE: Tanzania +1 Goal (holding)
GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS
