Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Perrier”
Your friendly bookie remains more of a San Pellegrino man, but we’ll accord the hosts some respect for their second-rate club soda. Along with La Croix, it’s an acceptable option when the only other alternative happens to be Seltzer Water.
Day 16: Recap
Bookie’s Stats—
Spread: 25-30
Straight up: 35-14-6
A glorious day of football across all three continents. So many talking points. The five-goal eruption from the hosts down south. A four-goal thriller to close out the day in Alexandria. Bookie finally got an “upset special” correctly tipped—with a little help from VAR—in Austrailia-Norway. Who does the day belong to? How about the “amazing Cranes”!
Damn! Not bad for one of the “worst teams in the tournament”. Africa always brings the upsets. This will be the first of many we'll see at CAN 2019. Shocking stuff from the Malagasy as well.
Then there’s my Mädels. Uganda wins the day, but Deutschland gets the tactical section all to themselves.
S.S.S. Tactical Breakdown
Loved what I saw from the Mädels today. First I’ll address the officiating controversy: Yes, Svenja Huth was offside on that goal. Yes, it’s my opinion that she influenced the play, just like Carli Lloyd did on Tobin Heath’s deflected effort in the USA vs. Sweden match. No, it’s actually not that big of a deal. The wins were too dominant in both cases. Neither of the opposing teams had much of a chance.
Lineup—Deutschland—Match Four (Projected) (4-4-2) (6/21/2019)
Alexandra Popp Lea Schüller
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Sara Däbritz Giulia Gwinn
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Melanie Leupholz Lina Magull
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Kathrin Hendrich Svenja Huth
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Marina Hegering Sara Doorsoun
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Almuth Schult
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Lineup—Deutschland—Match Four (Actual) (4-4-2) (6/22/2019)
Alexandra Popp Lea Schüller
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Sara Däbritz Giulia Gwinn
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Melanie Leupholz Lina Magull
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Verena Schweers Svenja Huth
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Marina Hegering Sara Doorsoun
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Almuth Schult
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A nearly perfect pick from the bookie, with the exception of Schweers at left back.
Much as she did in the second group stage encounter against Spain, Voss-Tecklenburg often shifted to a three-player defensive front. In this instance, Melanie Leupholz dropped back to join the center backs any time the Mädels organized a wide forward assault. Däbritz collapsed inward to pair with Magull this time. Schweers and Huth stormed ahead on every rush. Defensive work didn’t truly appear to on their instructional agenda today. The pair also switched field positioning quite often.
Sara Däbritz was by far the most mobile player, particularly in the first half. Lina Magull conducted most of the central distributive work as a “solo six” in the initial 45. Däbritz lurked around her in all manner of positions. Spectacular creative work from both of them today. With so much attention paid to a very static Gwinn, those two made the most of the space afforded them. One conjectures that Gwinn received instructions to draw as much coverage as she could by mostly remaining in place. If true, it constituted quite the cunning ploy from the German manager
Two substitutions at the restart saw a reformat to a 3-4-3. Carolin Simon replaced Schweers and took over at right back. Not only did Huth switch over to the left, she joined Lea Schüler and Klara Bühl (who came on for Leupholz) on the first axis to form a totally different attacking trident. Just as she did in the second match, Popp dropped back to the third axis to focus on forward threads and diagonals.
It did not appear to me that the shape altered much when Lena Oberdorf came on for Magull in the 69th. Gwinn rotated a bit more with Bühl at the right forward position, but mostly they were looking for Huth on the left. Huth herself never seemed to grow tired of bursting forward. She was indefatigable. It seemed she had a personal vendetta against, in all seriousness, a group of pigeons that kept settling on her side of the pitch! Those were some truly dumb fucking birds. They might have done better to land on Carolin Simon’s side.
Very high marks are in order for a truly superb match. All subs factored in.
Grades—Deutschland (Match Four)
Lina Magull
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A+
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Sara Däbritz
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A+
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Svenja Huth
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A+
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Alexandra Popp
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A+
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Melanie Leupholz
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A
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Verena Schweers
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A
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Almuth Schult
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A
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Lea Schüller
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A
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Lena Oberdorf
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A
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Sara Doorsoun
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A-
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Marina Hegering
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B+
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Klara Bühl
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B-
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Giulia Gwinn
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B-
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Carolin Simon
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C
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As much as I’d like to dock either Popp or Huth for picking up bookings, their overall performance was simply too substantial. Popp’s headed goal in the 20thwas every bit as technically gifted as Julie Ertz’s against the Chileans last Sunday. Marvelously slick stuff from two of the female game’s best! Popp also proved radiant in her midfield role later in the match. There were many beautifully telegraphed passes upfield, perhaps the most magnificent of which was a sparkler for the Carolin Simon in the 72nd. Huth was simply sensational. Ask those stubborn pigeons.
As noted above, Magull and Däbritz were the absolute stars of the show, hustling hard and displaying constant creativity deep into the match. Schweers and Leupholz looked comfortable and competent in their first half roles. Tremendous awareness from Oberdorf after she came on, particularly when she nearly set up Däbritz in the 79th. Even the much criticized centerbacks played well. For the most part they tackled and passed adroitly. Doorsoun and Hegering might have earned even higher marks, but I did observe some suspect decision making when it came to the direction of a few tackles. The ball got played out into touch on a few occasions when it shouldn’t have been.
Bühl and Schüller did get outrun on a few occasions. The latter atoned with that no-hesitation laser finish in the 82nd. Not the greatest match from the vaunted Gwinn, who took a few too many heavy touches, succumbed to a frustration foul, and also seemed to have trouble turning on the jets. She may have felt awkward playing the decoy. Honestly, who could blame her? Simon wasn’t terrible, but did have some marking problems and was far too off the mark in her set-piece deliveries.
Die Frauennationalmanschaft have now earned themselves a full week’s rest before facing either Sweden or Canada next Saturday in the quarterfinals. This shall prove vital for those players whose speed looks to be dipping a bit. Additionally, a long-rest cure will enhance the chances that Dzsenifer Maroszan can recover from her toe injury in time to rejoin the squad.
With continued improvements, a place in the final against the USA now seems more probable.
“Riffs of the Day”—Day Sixteen
Reader: Fuck those fucking pigeons!
Vicey: Damn straight, 56-M. There like those dumbass cowbirds my cats trap in the screen porch. How many times are you going to try to fly out of that screened alcove? I know imminent death doesn’t exactly focus the mind, but shit. I genuinely do my best to lead you in the direction of the WIDE open door, but you just won’t give up on that damned alcove.
Reader: How come the African players don’t get those hunch-back sports bras?
Vicey: This is why one must really respect the African women players. They’re already at a disadvantage boob-wise, carrying all that extra “Nubian Melon Weight”. Somehow they still play the fasted-paced football even without those boob-neutralizing sports bras. Much respect is order for players who can out-balance the “boobage-bounce”.
Reader: That wasn’t a handball. Thorisdottir cleared it with her right tit!
Vicey: …..Gentleman, this mail bag is suddenly getting very “boob-centric”. Why do we all have this on our mind today? Breast cancer awareness month isn’t until October!
Reader: Some “fan game” you’ve got going at Uganda-Congo DR. The empty seats are colorful.
Vice: It’s Africa, 182-M. Credit the five pockets of fans who could afford the trip….and listen to how fucking loud they are. Look at the potbellied painted dude drumming his own belly. Look at them bouncing around with their flags....and look at these guys!
Many Africans support their teams from home. They don’t have all that much of a choice in the manner.
DAY SEVENTEEN—PREVIEW
England vs. Cameroon
vs. 
Pay attention, American bettors. Listen to your friendly bookie. PAY ATTENTION. This is your Semi-final opponent. This is your REAL test.
THE LINE: England +2 Goals (rolling up soft from England +1)
France vs. Brazil
vs. 
Pay attention here too, brothers. PAY ATTENTION. This is your Quarterfinal opponent. These predictions are getting too easy for the bookie.
THE LINE: France +1 Goal (rolling down soft from France +2)
Senegal vs. Tanzania
vs. 
Maybe we get another big upset on Day Three of AFCON. Bookie’s wearing his lucky Taifa Stars trikot
THE LINE: Senegal +2 Goals (holding)
Algeria vs. Kenya
vs. 
Might as well dust off the old Harambee Stars jersey too. Too early for a Kenya-Tanzania-Uganda Kiswahili trifecta?
THE LINE: Algeria +1 Goal (holding)
Morocco vs. Namibia
vs. 
Got some nibbles here, so we’ll roll down accordingly
THE LINE: Morocco +3 Goals (rolling down soft from Morocco +4)
Qatar vs. Argentina
vs. 
Hasn’t been the greatest chapter for the upset special, but bookie really likes his tip here. We’re keeping it. Bookie’s wallet speaks to him; it whispers with all the calm aplomb of a non-existent God.
THE LINE: Qatar +1 Goal (holding)
Columbia vs. Paraguay
vs. 
Not much action. No reason to roll. Still available.
THE LINE: Pick em’ (holding)
GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS
