Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Perrier”
Your friendly bookie remains more of a San Pellegrino man, but we’ll accord the hosts some respect for their second-rate club soda. Along with La Croix, it’s an acceptable option when the only other alternative happens to be Seltzer Water.
Day 22: Recap
Bookie’s Stats—
Spread: 36-49
Straight up: 51-24-10
Of course we have to file today’s daily with the two Copa America matches still on tape. There’s no sense in concentrating on anything else when all we can focus on is….
USA! USA! USA!
Brilliantly done, legend! 23-M writes in tell me Rapinoe's been involved in some of “twitter feud” with President Fat-Boy-Kefka. We ordinarily don’t report on such matters here at the Syndicate your friendly bookie firmly believes that such a thing as a “newsworthy twitter feud” doesn’t exist in the adult world. I prefer to point out the fact that one of my first female footballing crushes just scored back-to-back braces in two World Cup Elimination fixtures.
FUCKING WOW!
USA! USA! USA!
S.S.S. Tactical Breakdown
An absolute tactical masterpiece from Jill Ellis and the U.S. Staff.
We’ll report on that.
We’ll report on that.
Lineup—USA—Match Five (Projected) (4-3-3) (6/26/2019)
Megan Rapinoe Alex Morgan Tobin Heath
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Julie Ertz
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Sam Mewis Rose Lavelle
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Crystal Dunn Kelley O’Hara
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Becky Sauerbrunn Abby Dahlkemper
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Alyssa Naeher
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Lineup—USA—Match Five (Actual) (5-3-2) (6/28/2019)
Megan Rapinoe Alex Morgan
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Tobin Heath
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Sam Mewis Rose Lavelle
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Crystal Dunn Julie Ertz Kelley O’Hara
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Becky Sauerbrunn Abby Dahlkemper
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Alyssa Naeher
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What an absolutely brilliant tactical set up from Jill Ellis! The American manager truly made all the right moves, out-maneuvering her French counterpart in every last area. Upon initially seeing the team sheet, it seemed the projected 4-3-3 would be the day’s strategy. Ellis even played his feint in the opening minutes of the match. Julie Ertz pressed high early and let fly with that stinging warning shot. Once the tone was set, however, she dropped back into defense and let Tobin Heath quietly and gradually slide into her position.
When previewing this match, we discussed how Beckie Sauerbrunn and Sam Mewis needed to assist Crystal Dunn as much as possible. The American left would see the most bombardment, either from Kadidiatou Diani or Delphine Cascarino. As it turned out, Sauerbrunn wasn’t really needed much. Mewis did a fantastic job of folding inward and cutting out the French wide attacks whenever Dunn was beaten. Rapinoe hustled back to help out too on several occasions. Wonderful box-to-box play from her tonight. Splendid execution from all the girls on that side.
We also noted that ceding control of some of the midfield and allowing pockets of space to develop would constitute a clever tactic. By moving Ertz all the way back to the fourth defensive axis, the Americans ensured that the French could produce some incisive central passes in the middle of the park, but would be absolutely stonewalled once they approached the 18. Corinne Diacre’s XI simply had no plays once they ran into that front. Strictly lateral balls yielded nothing. When the French did press forward in those instances, the disciplined American back five simply caught them offside. Les Bleaus were too frustrated to watch their lines.
As presaged, the U.S. Women allowed the French to expend energy on their possession game, absorbing the pressure and looking for counterattacking lanes. Such a quick counter led to the foul on Morgan and Rapinoe’s set-piece goal. There were other two-touch breaks over the course of that highly entertaining first half. But for some uncharacteristically weak passing from Rose Lavelle, the U.S. could have been up by two or three goals.
Heath did spend a great deal of time on the right, but usually tracked back center whenever the attacking chances had passed. We saw some great battling from her in all locations. It looked to me like she was a touch offside when setting up Rapinoe’s second goal. By contrast, it looked like Dunn was fully onside when Morgan played her in for Heath’s set-up in the 73rd. What can one say? If VAR officials can purportedly measure axis lines within a fraction of a toenail, we’ve little choice but to disbelieve our own eyes.
Lindsey Horan’s introduction in the 63rd saw Ellis re-format into an even more protective 5-4-1. Carli Lloyd for Mewis in the 82nd and Christen Press for Rapinoe in the 87th didn’t see any alterations to this approach. All subs receive grades regardless of how late they came on since they did have to execute in order to hold off the late French pressure.
Grades—USA (Match Five)
Megan Rapinoe
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A+
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Tobin Heath
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A+
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Becky Sauerbrunn
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A+
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Abby Dahlkemper
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A+
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Crystal Dunn
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A
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Alex Morgan
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A
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Sam Mewis
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A
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Alyssa Naeher
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A
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Christen Press
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A
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Julie Ertz
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A-
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Kelley O’Hara
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B+
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Carli Lloyd
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B
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Lindsey Horan
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C+
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Rose Lavelle
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C-
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It was truly an incredible performance from both centerbacks. Mewis and Ertz also deserve props for their defensive work in holding that back line. Dunn bought in on a couple of Diani’s fakes, but she should hardly be faulted for that. She wasn’t going to be perfect against such a talented player. The fact that she shut her down 70 percent of the time is frankly sensational.
Kelley O’Hara is the hardest one to grade. She did make some mistakes and committed a couple of bad fouls, one of which led to the French set piece goal. In the final analysis she can’t be given average marks as she did make some excellent tackles and kept herself involved in the run of play. Her hard work on the flanks kept the French occupied and prevented much action from Amel Majri and Eugenie Le Sommer. That side wasn’t an option for the hosts thanks in large part to her.
Lloyd and Horan didn’t do all that well defensively, but that has everything to do with the fact that they’re not defenders. Throwing them into a 5-4-1 wasn’t a natural fit for them. Lavelle’s low marks similarly reflect the fact that this wasn’t the system for her. For most of the night she didn’t even really have a partner to work with or a direct striker to feed. Hence, the passes to nowhere. There were nevertheless some really poor touches and baffling decisions in possession. Very little chance we’ll see her dip further. She simply had an aberrant match.
Up next for the USWNT comes the crucial encounter with England in the semi-finals on Tuesday. When previewing this tournament, your friendly bookie selected the Three Lionesses as favorites to win it all based on the fact that they would likely face the U.S. at precisely this point; the point where they happen to be most vulnerable. We’ll explore whether or not this is still a possibility in the coming days.
For the time being, just ENJOY
USA! USA! USA!
“Riffs of the Day”—Day Twenty-Two
Reader: Why is there STILL a sideline reporter?
Vicey: I know, 35-M. You and I have every right to continue bitching about this travesty until someone listens to us. We do not do sideline reporters in football. Bookie’s all set to punctuate this point with the Caps Lock Key for the 6,589thtime.
WE DO NOT DO SIDELINE REPORTERS IN FOOTBALL!!
Watching the U.S. broadcast today, I was overjoyed to hear that booth commentator Aly Wagner—who fucking rocks by the way—gave those in our opinionated camp a perfect assist today. Here’s how it went down.
SIDELINE BIMBO: The U.S. Training Staff is very focused on fitness, giving the players regular “hydration tests”.
ALY WAGNER: “Hydration tests” just mean the trainers look at the color of your urine, but it sounds more technical when you put it that way.”
….Thank you, Aly. I love you, Aly. You’re the best booth commentator ever ; )
Reader: Looks like the French didn’t follow your lineup projections.
Vicey: …and that would be why they lost. Fucking insipid horseshit from Diacre today. Why didn’t she start Cascarino? What the shit was Thiney doing that high up?! Gauvin central just like she was in that total debacle against Norway. No adjustments when it became clear it wasn't working. What was she thinking?
Argh. Have I mentioned that no one screws themselves like the French? I do believe I have. I’ve mentioned it more often than the whole sideline reporter thing. I’ve literally mentioned it at five times in this chapter.
Argh. Have I mentioned that no one screws themselves like the French? I do believe I have. I’ve mentioned it more often than the whole sideline reporter thing. I’ve literally mentioned it at five times in this chapter.
Reader: I really have to take a piss, but I can’t take my eyes of this match.
Vicey: Piss in a bottle, 11-M. Once you’re done, submit it to me. I need to give you a “hydration test”.
Reader: Watch as Megan Rapinoe doesn’t sing the national anthem.
Vicey: 23-M is actually not being a dick here. He’s pointing out the source of the Trump-Rapinoe “twitter feud”. I’d like to point out that Germans have never cared if our players sing the national anthem. It’s totally up to them. The same is true of virtually every other country on earth….except for Spain, where there are no words to the national anthem.
Only in America, which has quite possibly the most anachronistic and irrelevant national anthem on earth, is this somehow a source of controversy. So it goes in a country where “twitter feuds” are considered salient news.
Reader: This is France’s saddest day since 1944.
Vicey: I think that American invasion was a mite more appreciated than this one. On the other hand, I’m sure most of the French males are glad that there are a lot of totally tanked female U.S. fans roaming around the streets of Paris tonight. Knowing French dudes as I do, they’ll find a way to win even though they lost.
Reader: I think this U.S. team “out-arrogants” the French. Is this possible?
Vicey: Bwahahahaha…and…ZING, 36-M!
Reader: Thoughts on the USMNT CONCACAF Gold Cup run?
Vicey: ….there’s a men’s team in this country?
Alright. That was harsh. Yeah, I watched the Panama game. They’re good. They’ll be fine. Bookie’s covering three tournaments over here!
Reader: What a game. This should have been a semi-final.
Vicey: ….you know something, 142-M? I actually wrote the same thing about the Germany-France quarterfinal four years ago, and the England-France quarterfinal eight years ago. These poor froggy women can never seem to catch a break in this tournament.
It’s like they’re forced to make love in the afternoon before properly cleansing themselves in the Bidet….not that I would have…er…lodge such a complaint out of experience or anything.
Reader: How can the French boo Kelley O’Hara after she took that thunderbolt shot straight to the boob? She needs some time to get up!
Vicey: Bring us home with a boob reference, 56-M. Well done.
DAY TWENTY-THREE—PREVIEW
Mauritania vs. Angola
vs. 
Some bets and injury news require a hard roll. Bookie still thinks the Chinguettis are the worst team in the tournament.
THE LINE: Angola +1 Goal (rolling down hard from Angola +3)
Cameroon vs. Ghana
vs. 
A very good match indeed. Bookie remains satisfied with pick and Line.
THE LINE: Cameroon +1 Goal (holding)
Benin vs. Guinea-Bissau
vs. 
Bookie done warned your asses about the “Surging Squirrels”. Great picks for a deep run.
THE LINE: Benin +1 Goal (holding)
The Netherlands vs. Italy
vs. 
More, Lieke. We must have more Lieke. Gotta have more Lieke, baby. We’ve got a fever, and the only prescription is more Lieke. Bruce Dickenson needs more Lieke.
THE LINE: The Netherlands +2 Goals (holding)
Deutschland vs. Sweden
vs. 
Bookie had a “no-beuno” nightmare involving “Big Momma Hedvig” last night, but his concern dissipated not long after waking.
THE LINE: Deutschland +2 Goals (holding)
Uruguay vs. Peru
vs. 
We don’t “re-instate” favorite status at the Syndicate. Once it’s taken it’s gone. Even if we see something special here, I think La Celeste are done.
THE LINE: Uruguay +1 Goal (rolling down soft from Uruguay +2)
GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS
