Shadow Scholar Syndicate: EM 2020--Day Six Recap

Your Syndicate Daily is proudly presented by "Bündnis 90" and the European Greens.

With warm preemptive congratulations to Kanzlerin Baerbock :)

Your friendly bookie wholeheartedly endorses a German velvet revolution. Let's go Europe!

Day 6: Recap

Bookie’s Stats—

Spread: 5-10

Straight up: 6-7-2

Well, damn. Some day. It would appear your friendly bookie isn't much of a tipster this year as he can't seem to pick a correct line! Hopefully I'm as wrong in my assessment of the German national team as I've been in round two. One day into round two and we're down in the whole 0-3.

Oh well. Hearing from the elated Azzuri faithful can serve as its own reward. The whole in my wallet was self-inflicted. This day belongs to you and your historic brace scorer Manuel Locatelli. I complimenti on Immobile as well.

After five long years it's also such a treat to see the Italian national football team's trademark celebrations once again.

Yes, gentlemen. Please join me in welcoming back the good-old fashioned "Italia Man-Pile". It's a veritable orgy of perspiration and jubilation.

Hit me up with a close up of that "healthy man-love!"

Alright, Philly-contingent. That's about all the love you're going to get for this evening. You've a very good squad that seems to get better the more supposedly crucial players get injured. This team appears just fine without Verrati, di Lorenzi, and now even Chiellini.

La Felicitazione on the knockout-stage berth, not to mention extending the unbeaten run to 24 fixtures and the clean-sheet streak to an incredible 900 minutes. I'd say I'm legitimately scared of meeting your deep side deeper in this tournament. As you know, of course, the Vaterland won't make it that far.

S.S.S. Tactical Breakdown

A bit of catching up to do tonight with the victors. Neither Russia nor Wales received draw ups after their opening group stage games. We'll also take a look at why the Swiss proved such a flop in the border battle. Since there isn't much to report on the straight-arrow plug-ins to Mancini's squad, the Italian analysis ends with pictures.

Ruskies first.

Lineup—Russia—PROJECTED (5-3-2) (5/30/2021)

Basically, Stanislav Cherchesov found his way into the forecast back-five midway through the first match. He tried something a bit more traditional initially against the Belgians; something that happened to fall apart after two injuries in the opening 45.

Lineup—Russia—Match One (4-2-3-1) (6/12/2021)

Kuzyaev (or Kuzyayev if you'd like the other enunciative interpretation from the Cyrillic) was first to fall, replaced by Denis Cheryshev after that head collision with Timothy Castagne shortly before the hour mark. Old man Zhirkov also couldn't make it the full half. Vyacheslav Karavayev had to come on for him.

Cherchesov took off Barinov at the break, replacing him with Igor Diveev. He then decided he wasn't really satisfied with Cheryshev and subbed off his subbed-on player in the 63rd in favor of Maksim Mukhin, while also introducing Aleksei Miranchuk for Roman Zobnin.

Whew. Look. I'll level with you. It was a complete splitting headache for your bookie on the day of the Christian Erkisen collapse. I honestly felt like collapsing myself. Between all the different names and the constantly shifting tactics, the bookie was just glad to see them lose.

When setting the round two lines, I was almost certain they would lose again. When Finland's Joel Pohjanpalo scored early, I was almost completely certain that they would lose. When the goal got called back, I looked forward to preparing a Finnish draw-up.

Instead, I get to tell you about Russia. Apologies if the names appearing contain mixed German and English spelling. Your friendly bookie is honestly too tired to decide what language he's thinking in, let alone select one for this particular team.

Lineup—Russia—Match Two (5-2-3) (6/12/2021)

Meh. Better, but still not good. As expected, we've seen a keeper change in this tournament. Igor Akinfeev's boots are some rather large ones to fill. World Cup flops Roman Zobnin and Aleksei (Aleksey for Germans) Miranchuk (the successful one of the twins) played a decent game.

It was Miranchuk who scored the game winning goal after missing several opportunities. Another injury to report as Mario Fernandes had to be replaced at 27 minutes. Karvavev (or Karavayev if you want the English spelling) came on for him.

Then your friendly bookie's most disliked player spelling-wise, striker Rifat Zhemaletdinov, came on for Ozdoev (or Ozdoyev if you insist) and moved up with Miranchuck and Artem (or Arytom) Dyuba to partner in a late 4-3-3.

Yawn. Lord, do I hate this team! Now that Zhirkov and Fernandes are hurt there isn't a single player who has consistent spelling across both languages. Won't the football Gods please send them outta here like Wladimir?!?

Shit. Sorry. "Vladimir".

Let's talk about a different team from another land of an unpronounceable tongue. Thankfully, eight centuries of Anglo-Saxon rule give us easily spelled names here.

Lineup—Wales—PROJECTED (3-4-3) (5/28/2021)

Ha! This projected lineup was meant almost as a joke. Your friendly bookie was convinced that the Welsh would be one in this tournament. Three quick matches and they would be back into the arms of Ryan Giggs....which in itself nearly sets up another joke that would, admittedly, be in somewhat poor taste.

Interim trainer Rob Page saved your friendly bookie some time by trotting out the exact same XI in both matches. We'll present the dragons in that wonderful yellow Socceroo copycat kit that they wore today.

Lineup—Wales—Match 1/2 (4-2-3-1) (6/13-16/2021)

This worked because...well...largely because Turkey sucked. Something of a shame that we have to wait until the day of the final group stage game to confirm their elimination, along with Senol Günes' retirement. The Turkish 4-1-4-1 got completely shredded almost by accident.

When one factors in the number of Ramsey misses, and Gareth Bale's missed penalty, the match could have ended 4-0. Your friendly bookie seems to recall the xG stats suggesting as much, though he doesn't have time to look them up.

Günes again tried to reverse course with a halftime shift not dissimilar to the one he employed against Italy. It produced nothing. Time to send this old managerial horse to the glue factory. I suppose those of us with Turkish sympathies can look forward to seeing Faith Terim back for his fifth stint.

The Cyd Dragons still don't have a particularly convincing squad. Nevertheless, with four points from two matches, we can almost certainly count on them at least going through as one of the third-placed teams. Would you believe it? They might play Cinderella again!

The man with the widest mouth in all of football sports a wide grin!

A German now wishes to spend a bit of time bitching about his disappointing southern neighbors. Special thanks to my rustic, alpine, hick cousins for yet another monumental fiduciary failure.

Lineup—Switzerland—Match Two (4-3-1-2) (6/16/2021)

Pardon me, but what the shit was this? This was uglier than Schaffhausen dialect. Vladimir Petkovic used to be a manager I eminently respected until this crystalized. Presumably, the idea was to deploy a Swiss version of Catennacio. It worked about as well as Swiss attempts at Hochdeutsch.

Boy, did the we-go-blahs ever get spaghetti grinded here. They never managed to break through. For the entire first half, it looked as if there was only one team on the pitch. Rolling Italian counterattacks swept through those large pockets of space.

Odd to call them "counters-attacks" seeing as there were really no Swiss attacks to speak of. Shaqiri couldn't do much without supporting midfielders and the re-positioned wingbacks were always chasing Locatelli and Barella.

This was just an odd choice for such a big match. I thought most of us were in agreement that Seferovic shouldn't start until he regained his touch. Moreover, Zuber, Mehmedi, Vargas, or Fassnacht could have started on the wing for extra attacking support.

I think many of us with Germano proclivities expected some more changes from Petkovic. The same XI, with fullbacks Mbabu and Rodriguez placed in higher pressure positions looked like a half-baked afterthought against the mighty Squadra.

Yes, Italians. Your team is good. One still has to say that this group proved surprisingly weak.

Poor Blondie couldn't do it all on his own.

Nice of Ciro to give him the first meaningful touch he got all night.

“Riffs of the Day”—Day Six

Related image

Reader: Christ, Vicey. You didn't have to write the Germans off with a dissertation.

Vicey: Some of us aren't good at much else, 121-M. My grades were actually far less harsh than those of most of the German press.

To the neutral eye, the Germans didn't play all that badly. To the citizens of the Bundesrepublik, the laser focused-eyes on our team confirmed our worst fears.

Also curious as to how the neutrals speak of an "okay" performance that featured ZERO SHOTS ON TARGET.

Reader: That full capacity Hungarian crowd sends me into a state of long-lost bliss.

Vicey: Never thought I'd be praising a country run by Viktor Orban in my life. Perhaps we just need to declare this pandemic over already. If you're vaccinated, it's over. Forget about the masses who have no interest in coming with us. They bear their own risk at this point.

Reader: Those might be the best Portuguese alternate kits yet.

Vicey: A valid point, 56-M....but I think the Euro 2012 ones just edge them out.

Reader: A bit hard on Robin Gosens, Vicey?

Vicey: I think he was a bit hard on Benjamin Pavard, 33-M.

Call it unintentional if you want, but how on earth could he have missed him when contesting this ball?

Reader: Lovely watching this Wales-Turkey match. It's gif-gitch-tastic!

Vicey: Dug this one up just for you, 84-M.

The poor broadcast team in Baku found themselves subject to hundreds of thousands of these gifs online today. What was really fucked up is that everyone was blaming their local broadcasters.

It all comes from one feed, people. We're all watching the same thing. That's part of the beauty of it.

DAY SEVEN--PREVIEW

North Macedonia vs. Ukraine

vs.