WM 2014--Day Nine Recap

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Day 9: Recap

Record—

Spread: 7-19

Straight up: 12-10-4

Hot Girl Standings

Country	Tally	Games Played
Netherlands	74	2
Brazil	70	2
Costa Rica	64	2
France	58	2
Australia	52	2
Columbia	44	2
Ecuador	42	2
Japan	41	2
Mexico	35	2
Spain	31	2
Cote d’Ivoire	31	2
Argentina	29	1
Chile	28	2
Belgium	28	1
Germany	27	1
USA	27	1
Honduras	25	2
Uruguay	24	2
England	24	2
Italy	24	2
Cameroon	23	2
Greece	22	2
South Korea	21	1
Russia	20	1
Switzerland	19	2
Nigeria	18	1
Bosnia & H	17	1
Croatia	17	2
Ghana	12	1
Portugal	9	1
Iran	4	1
Algeria	1	1

PURA VIDA Syndicate Members,

PURA VIDA!

PURA VIDA!

PURA VIDA!

Apologies, Philly Wop Contingent, but the “Cinderella Freight Train” just flattened you. The “Fantastic Frogs” also further fattened your friendly bookie’s wallet and it’s “Ecuadorian Ecstasy”!. Another Latin American team has the whole world dancing to a Hispanic Rhythm. What a mind-blowing day!! Let’s get to work.

If only Lauren Chinchilla could have been on hand to witness the Ticos scalp the heavily favored Azzurri. “Who is Laura Chinchilla?” you may ask. Syndicate Members know. ; ) ; ) The rest of you have to listen to me ramble about Geopolitics for a page or two.

 

Chinchilla served one term as the President of Costa Rica. She also held a far more meaningful post for two-separate terms. Ahem. From May 8^th 2010 to August 5^th 2011 she held the not-at-all-dubious distinction of being “Vicey’s Hottest Female World Leader.” She again assumed the mantle for a second term that lasted ONE SOLITARY DAY (May 7^th 2014-May 8^th 2014) before involuntarily abdicating in favor of Denmark’s Helle Thorning-Schmidt (the current title holder)

 Confused? No worries. Vicey will sort it all out for you.

The idea for the honorable distinction of “Vicey’s Hottest Female World Leader” was born on the morning on February 9^th, 2010. Like all ingenious notions it popped into my head right after I had finished the newspapers, gulped down that fourth cup of coffee, and made a b-line for the toilet. I had been reading about recent elections in Costa Rica.

Then Costa-Rican President Oscar Arias had gotten a lot of press as the principal regional mediator between the two sides of the Honduran coup. Arias, some will recall, is a former Nobel Laureate with a reputation for effective diplomatic tactics. Beyond that, South/Central American elections are always interesting in that a center-left or center-right party (usually with militant roots) emerged as the dominant force after the country’s revolution.

Through Proportional Representative Democracy, however, interesting new political entities invariably spring up from the grass roots level. Such parties typically alternate positions with the established revolutionary party as these nation states make impressive progress toward better implementation of their founding constitutions. Fascinating stuff.

In the case of Costa Rica, the National Liberation Party (PLN) has mostly been a stabilizing force since the brief but bloody Civil War in 1949. Since declaring itself sovereign from two of the failed post-colonial “Mexican Superstates”, Costa Rica fought three protracted civil conflicts, two of which resulted in prolonged periods of governance by military junta. PLN Founder Jose Figueres Ferrer restored democratically elected governance and won the country’s first free-and-fair elections in 1953. Since then, the country has largely oscillated between the Socialist Party (which mirrors Social Democratic Parties found in Europe) and a Christian Democratic Party (which also mirrors most Christian Democratic Parties). Peace, stability, and prosperity thus mostly reign.

It was thus good news that Chinchilla won….and yes I’m getting to the title of “Vicey’s Hottest Female World Leader.”. There had to be some ground rules. No, you dipshits, the Queen of England doesn’t count. No hot Dutch Princesses. No Jordanian Queens. We’re talking popularly-elected leaders here. Yes, leaders like Merkel, Rouseff, Bachelet are eligible. Brains are sexy too! No, I never found Argentina’s Christina Fernandez de Kirchner particular attractive or intelligent. She was never in contention.

Chinchilla assumed the position (er….the “post” or “office” I might clarify) on May 8^th 2010. She had barely been in office a month before facing a stiff challenge from Australian Deputy Prime Minister Julia Gillard. Gillard ousted then Australian Prime Minister Kevin Rudd in an intra-party coup. In the run up to the 2010 Australian elections, Rudd had lost popular support after poorly perceived implementation of immigration policies and a controversial mining tax. It was a tough call, but I stuck with Chinchilla.

Then, in the Summer of 2011, Thaksin Shinawatra’s Peu Thai party nominated his sister Yingluck as the leader of the “Thai Red Shirts”.  I foresaw a change coming. Sure enough, Yingluck’s party received 47 percent of the popular vote and she quickly cobbled together a workable coalition to assume office on August 5^th. We had ourselves a changing-of the-guard.

Shinawatra maintained the title through the slow implementation of her anti-poverty initiatives, the 2011 floods, the 2012 Cabinet reshuffle and most of the “Yellow Shirt Demonstration Crisis”. I took her down, however and installed Gillard as matters started heating up on April 15^th, 2013. Gillard was then, in turn, ousted by Rudd in a reverse intra-party coup on June 24^th 2010. Shinawatra thus reclaimed the title until she was deposed in a military coup on May 7^th. It appeared she had regained control of the country with the dissolution of parliament and the promise of early elections. Didn’t see that one coming.

Now it gets fucking ridiculous. (Some readers are surely muttering to themselves, “wait a second…NOW it gets fucking ridiculous?) Precluded by term limits from running again, Chinchilla’s party had long since lost the Costa Rican elections to Luis Guillermos Solis of the upstart Citizens Action Party (PAC). She was still technically in office until Solis was sworn in on the 8^th. Thus, Chinchilla retained the title for 24 hours until she left the Casa Presidencial. Denmark’s P.M. Helle Thorning-Schmidt now holds the title, but she’s had trouble keeping her coalition together too. We very well have a year in which four women have the title. Merkel is currently on place two. Stay tuned.

Everybody with me? Look…this is going to be on the test so I might as well give you a Study Guide. Mercifully, I don’t have enough time to delve into my views on Thai Politics or Schmidt’s betrayals. Let’s just post this list and get back to talking football.

“Vicey’s Hottest Female World Leader” (2010-present)

 1) Laura Chinchilla (Costa Rica)---(first term) 

(May 8^th 2010-August 5^th 2011)

 2) Yingluck Shinawatra (Thailand)—(first term) 

 

(August 5^th 2011-April 15^th 2013)

 3) Julia Gillard (Australia)—(first term) 

 

(April 15^th 2013-June 24^th 2013)

 4) Yingluck Shinawatra (Thailand)—(second term) 

 

(June 24^th 2013-May 7^th 2014)

 5) Laura Chinchilla (Costa Rica)—(second term) 

 

(May 7^th 2014-May 8^th 2014)

 6) Helle Thorining-Schmidt (Denmark)—(first term) 

 

(May 8^th 2014-present)

I reiterate: THIS IS GOING TO BE ON THE TEST.

Let’s talk some football. How’s that for a segue? I really like these Ticos. Given the way that the groups are structured, it’s entirely possible to see them punching through all the way to the Quarterfinals. Head Coach Jorge Luis Pinto deploys a deceptively simple looking 5-4-1 that, upon closer inspection, uniquely features three strong centerbacks and NO REAL defensive midfielder. They distribute the ball well, maintaining possession to produce some fabulous counters.

Keylor Navas, the “Superstar keeper” will get a new contract soon. I don’t see him staying with Levante or even in La Liga. Some Premiership club would do well to scoop him up. Same applies to captain Bryan Ruiz. He’s been just phenomenal. I’m monitoring this Joel Campbell injury closely, but there’s simply no reason Bolanos and Tejeda can’t step it up if need be.

In terms of the Wops, jeers to Prandelli on what was a horribly shitty lineup selection. Abate as the starting left midfielder and Thiago Motta on the left wing? Really? No wonder you guys couldn’t get anything going up the left flank. Candreva on the right wing? C’mon. He’s got to serve behind your lead striker! And what the hell was up with the Cassano substitution at half-time. Seriously, that’s your idea of how to light a spark? Where the hell was Immobile?

 

Speaking of Immobile, he should be given serious consideration to start of Balotellti…who looked downright awful last night. No question he’s got the presence, but THAT is how he performed (or rather summarily fails to perform) against three disciplined centerbacks. The straightforward strategy for shutting him down is out there for all to see. I’m starting to get worried about your prospects, Wops.

GO FROGGIES GO!! It should have been a six-goal night! Benzema should have had his Hat Trick. What kind of vile and spiteful behavior was Brazilian referee Sandro Ricci engaging in when he denied him that goal? Deschamps made all the right moves. Starting Giroud at center forward and moving Benzema to the left was a stroke of genius. Moving up Matuidi and giving Sissoko the shot. Oh-la-la. What a delectable French recipe!

Cabaye had a monster night in central midfield. Evra looks really strong despite those lapses. Didn’t I tell you that I liked this team? I told you how much I believe in Les Bleus. All the way to the Semifinals, just as we augured!

From WM 2014—Group E Preview 

This bookie likes their chances. Ze Frogs follow a pattern that, while capricious, is perfectly predictable. It’s almost as if they’re nothing more than a bunch overly-ruminative bi-polar rubes! Don’t believe me? Consider the evidence:

1998—World Champions

2002—Cataclysmic embarrassment that lost to their former colony, finished dead last in their group, and failed to score a single goal

2006—World Runners-up

2010—Absolute travesty that collapsed amid a internal revolt, finished dead last in the group, and sent one quarter of the players home before the final match.

2014—Champions? Runner’s Up? Bronze Medalists?

It’s France, Gentlemen. They’re essentially your bi-polar girlfriend. Instead of running on an eight-hour-cycle, they run on an eight-year-cycle. One year they’re making passionate love to you, astounding you with their overwhelmingly brilliant pontifications, and making you believe in the universal connectedness of all sentient life. Four years later they’re screeching incoherent accusations at you, chain smoking Gauloises, and threatening to jump off the roof. Four years after that they’re tenderly rekindling your belief in a higher power, going down on you twice daily, and cooking you sumptuous dishes that release endorphins you never dreamed existed. Four years down the road, they’re slashing your tires, threatening castration, and mailing your mother death threats.

You get the idea. It’s France. They rise high. They burn. They emerge from the ashes. They burn again. It’s the most bi-polar country in the history of the world. They guillotine a monarchy, and then reinstate it. They expel a general, then take him back They popularly elect a leader, then destroy his approval ratings even faster than Americans do. Expect nothing less from an overly philosophical race that looked to America for inspiration.

So many gorgeous goals to discuss. Emphatic header from Giroud in the 17^th. Pure poetry. Some will blame Swiss keeper Diego Benaglio, but he didn’t have a chance from the beginning. Brilliant shuffle out wide from Benzema two minutes later. An even better precision finish from Matuidi. Marvelous first touch!

 

Did I mention that Benzema missed a spot kick and that Cabaye was unlucky to watch his splendid effort off the rebound carom off the post? This one could have gotten much uglier for the Swiss. Giroud redeemed himself with a perfect square for Valbuena seven minutes later. THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE!! Pogba, skillfully deployed as a substitute, then placed one right on the tip of Benzema’s boot for the fourth goal. Beautiful. Benzema then worked in a diagonal for Sissoko. This team’s hot. They set each other up with centimeter perfect passes. I LOVE THIS FUCKING TEAM!!

Very entertaining nightcap as well. Enner Valencia is every bit the creative little speedster that Rueda’s proscribed 4-4-2 requires. Twenty bucks says we see him playing for a top-flight Premiership Club within a year. He would have even had a Hat Trick had he not blasted that effort over in the 19^th. The way he stroked it home in the 34^th was world class. Rising above no fewer than three worthy aerial challengers, he gave us the game winner in the 65^th.

 

There would ordinarily be much more to say about that action-packed fixture, but it’s “MATCHDAY IN THE FATHERLAND”, people. Our beloved Chancellor (and current #2 on the list of “Vicey’s Hottest Female World Leader”) Angie Merkel spent the night partying with our half-naked boys after they disemboweled Portugal. She gave them quite the inspirational address too.

AUF GEHT’S DEUTSCHLAND!!

“Riffs of the Day”—Day Nine

 

Reader: Your work ethic may be American, but your style is still European

Vicey: That's…..very nearly THE COOLEST RIFF IN THE HISTORY OF THE SYNDICATE! YOU ROCK! I need to know more. Shadowing me an e-mail from a discreet e-mail address simply isn't going to do it. Who are you? Are you a man or a woman? Are you…er…my mother by chance? Mom! Don't do this to me

Reader: You’re producing posts faster than I can read them.

Vicey: Take a speed-reading course, 23-M. Or you could just go straight to the lines like 90 percent of your “brothers” do ; ) ; )

DAY TEN--PREVIEW

Blockbuster day in every sense of the word.

AUF GEHT’S DEUTSCHLAND!!!!

Argentina vs. Iran

  vs. 

Higuain is rumored to be injured. Big loss for La Albicleste if he is. It still shouldn’t matter. The line holds

THE LINE: Argentina +3 Goals (holding)

Deutschland vs. Ghana

 vs. 

We a’int scared of you, Kevin Prince-Boateng. You’re the one who will get his legs broken this time!

THE LINE: Mannschaft +1 Goal (holding)

Bosnia & Herzegovina vs. Nigeria

 vs. 

With so many Syndicate members deeply invested in both teams, this one has rolled hard in both directions. It’s been a crazy day. Hoping for a “crazy night” as well.

THE LINE: B & H +1 Goal (rolling up from “pick em”)

GENTLEMEN, ENTER YOUR WAGERS