Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by
“Pißwasser Pils”
BITTE EIN PIß!!
Day 1: Recap
Record—
Spread: 0-1
Straight up: 1-0-0
Hot Girl
Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games
Played
|
Brazil
|
18
|
1
|
Croatia
|
6
|
1
|
Good morning Syndicate Members,
It is a POSITVELY GORGEOUS morning here in the Fatherland;
dazzling, radiant and glorious. The sun shines unimpeded. A gentle breeze
wafts. Birds sing and church bells ring. Chruch bells? On a Friday? Indeed. The
bells toll to announce the conclusion of the Holy Week of Pentecost. Sometimes
referred to as the “Feast of Weeks”, these six days commemorate the descent of
the Holy Spirit upon the Apostles as described in the Book of Acts. “Acts” (and
its prequel by the same author, “The Gospel of Luke”) are widely regarded as
the best-written books in the New Testament. It was their thoughtful prose that
ultimately allowed an early divided church to settle on the “Trinity
Compromise” and adopt a universal creed to unite the apostolic faith.
Germans know how to honor a good writer ; ) Most Krauts get
two days off during the festival. Others get the entire week off of work.
Er…you ultra religious Americans don’t mark the “Feast of Pentecost” do you?
Even your most devout snake-handling Pentecostal Zealot doesn’t know what it
is. Ooops. Well….I’m off to the bakery from a fresh-baked Laugenbrötchen and
Lachs. You just sit tight in your depressing little cubicle until I get back. :
) ; )
……
……
Okay I’m back. Took my time. Stopped by the café for a
couple of espressos and the newspapers. Ah. Life is just too damn hard. ; ( How
I wish I could be checking “out-dates” on Kethcup bottles right about now ; ) ;
)
Of course, Syndicate members know the real reason those
church bells are ringing. It a’int for Jesus. They’re ringing for us! We’re off
to a fantastic start after last night’s full throttle encounter in Sao Paulo.
We witnessed a nation of 200 million collectively press the panic button after
Marcelo’s 11th minute own goal, then exhale with Neymar’s
scintillating 29th Minute Strike. Neymar might have been gifted a
soft penalty, but he gave it is all and could have easily scored a Hat Trick
had David Luiz not got in the way.
The opening ceremony was every bit as fucking ridiculous as
we could have hoped for. The A Capella singing of the Brazilian national anthem
was so touching that this bookie got all misty-eyed. Even the Doves didn’t get
devoured by ravenous crows after their release! Upon returning home from last
night’s festivities, your friendly bookie found himself the recipient of his
very own “Schwag Pack”. And not just any “Schwag Pack”, this was “the MOTHER OF
ALL SCHWAG PACKS”.
I have to take a moment to recognize Syndicate Member 13-M.
He sent your bookie (among other things) some outright sumptuous Honduran Coffee,
some delightful Cajun-Boiled Sunflower seeds, and some out-of-this world smoked
beef jerky. Hell yes! That’s the way to start the day. Your friendly bookie
also now has his very own “U.S. Soccer Trikot” and a brand new stainless-steel
flask. Perfect timing, brother. Such gifts will be put to immediate use as I
head out on “Night Two” of our month long football extravaganza.
Syndicate Member 13-M is one of a handful of top class guys
who have been with us since the beginning, twelve years ago. Like many others,
he dove all the way over the course of dark days in which the Syndicate served
as a much-needed distraction. Also like many others, he’s now finally enjoying
some of the professional success he so richly deserves. We’d also like to
congratulate 7-M, 32-M, 77-M, and 103-M on exciting news careers. We continue
to send our very best to 121-M and 128-M as they struggle through great
personal adversity. Get through all this stuff guys. ; ( ; ( All of your
friends will be here waiting for you.
In other Syndicate News, 72-M has wagered a carton of
“Marlboro Red 72 Cigarettes” (your bookie’s favorite) on the Americans beating
Ghana. Clever Bastard! 33-M is rumored to be Brazil-bound. Lucky Bastard! 89-M
managed to get his wife pregnant again. Poor Bastard!
Overall, all is well in Syndicate Land. Let’s have another
cup of that savory speedball coffee and discuss last night’s match:
Vicey
gets it……DEAD WRONG?
I honestly have no clue whether or not I’ll have the stamina
to make this a recurring segment, but let’s find out how bad your friendly
bookie’s predictive powers turned out to be.
From WM 2010—Group A Preview:
Kovac
retains plenty of tools at his disposal, arguably many more than Billic had in
2012. Mandzukic, Modric, and Rakitic have all improved greatly over the course
of the past two years. Still, Everyone’s left guessing as to whether or he’ll
be able to make good use of weapons. Projecting a lineup was difficult enough
before we learned that Strinic, Kranjcar, and Olic would have to withdraw
because of injury. Some trades predict a 4-3-3 with Persic and Kovacic on the
flanks. Others foresee a 4-4-1-1 with Kovacic in the anchoring role. Still
others prognosticate a 4-2-3-1 with Rakitic and Modric hanging back. All we
truly know for certain is that the Superstriker Mario Mandzukic will be
deployed alone up front. Kovac must devise some way of supplying his lynchpin
with ample support.
Editors
Retroactive Notes:
We got what looked like a 4-5-1 (though one could also label
it a 4-2-3-1). Rakitic and Modric played defensive midfield, just as your
bookie predicted. Got another right with Perisic on the right flank. I happened
to be DEAD WRONG with respect to the left flank. Kovac did not deploy
20-year-old Inter Star Mateo Kovacic. Instead, he entrusted 34-year old
VfL-Wolfsburg Winger Ivica Ollic with that spot. With Mandzukic out, he moved
Jelavic up front and let Kovacic serve as anchor.
In general the Blazers played a hell of a lot better than I
anticipated. Olic moved well. It was his inviting cross that led to the early
own-goal. Olic was also harshly penalized for a light touch on Oscar that led
to the disallowed goal. Rotten officiating throughout. ; (
Nice creativity from Rakitic and Modric in the center of the
park. I also liked what I saw from Kovacic. Yes, I met a Croatian girl in my
roamings yesterday evening. She remained quite satisfied. I assured her that
her country would win their next match. Poor lass was too shy to let me take
her picture for the blog : (
From WM 2010—“Round One”:
After
spitting on the transmitted picture of Blatter just for good measure, it’s time
to kick back, relax, and watch Neymar do his thing. During last year’s dress
rehearsal it took him all of three minutes to feed off the energy in the crowd
and produce a magical moment. We’ll allow the lad a few more minutes this time,
what with butterflies and all. I still say he scores within the first quarter
of an hour. It’ll be epic.
Editors
Retroactive Notes:
Oh we came sooo close. Neymar could have scored inside of
ten minutes. In the final analysis we missed getting this one spot on by
fourteen minutes. Not to shabby!
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day One
Reader:
Vicey, what are J-Lo and Pitbull doing on my television screen? Seriously. WHAT
ARE THEY DOING?
Vicey:
……Dude. Didn’t I warn you NOT to get high before the Opening Ceremony??!
Dammit. No one listens.
Reader:
In honor of Brazil, I ordered the Vatapa…bad choice.
Vicey:
……Dude. Didn’t I warn you NOT to get high before the Opening Ceremony??!
Dammit. No one listens.
Reader:
Marcelo just signed his own death warrant.
Vicey:
Whoa, whoa, whoa. Easy now. We don’t need another Escobar Incident on our
hands.
Reader:
Neymar appears to a have a slinky for a spine.
Vicey:
…..why don’t you come work for me?
Reader:
You’re already in debt!
Vicey
….why don’t I come work for you?
DAY
TWO--PREVIEW
Great day on tap! Now we really get rolling! Three matches.
All for pleasure ; )
Mexico vs. Cameroon
vs. 
Mexico and Cameroon will get us started in the early match. Both
teams find themselves best by problems, but are holding it together for now.
Volker Finke has done as well of a job as one can expect with the latest
(seemingly traditional) row over his player’s bonuses. (you’ll recall the same
thing happened four years ago). The Mexicans emerge from their nightmarish
qualifying campaign to hopefully get back on track against frazzled opposition.
This tactically intriguing match kicks off in the early evening for the
European audience and just before lunch for those stuck stateside
THE
LINE: Mexico +1 Goal (holding)
Spain vs. Netherlands
vs. 
The Prime Time Blockbuster has everybody talking. It’s
definitely going to be a great night for your friendly bookie. Wonderful
Spanish community here in Karlsruhe! Hopefully we’ll get some great shots, but
no time for senioritas as we’ve another match to play….
THE
LINE: Pick em’ (holding)
Chile vs. Australia
vs. 
Tonight’s midnight special should be a high-scoring affair.
I think that Aussie back four is going to leak worse than a day-old diaper.
Head to bed dreaming of goals!
THE
LINE: Chile +2 Goals (holding)
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
