Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by
“Pißwasser Pils”
BITTE EIN PIß!!
Day 16: Recap
Record—
Spread: 16-34
Straight up: 22-19-9
Hot Girl
Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games
Played
|
Brazil
|
145
|
4
|
Columbia
|
106
|
4
|
Netherlands
|
96
|
3
|
Argentina
|
90
|
3
|
Costa Rica
|
79
|
3
|
France
|
76
|
3
|
Chile
|
74
|
4 (finished)
|
Japan
|
66
|
3 (finished)
|
USA
|
65
|
3
|
South Korea
|
65
|
3 (finished)
|
Germany
|
64
|
3
|
Australia
|
63
|
3 (finished)
|
Nigeria
|
61
|
3
|
Mexico
|
59
|
3
|
Bosnia & H
|
59
|
3 (finished)
|
Spain
|
58
|
3 (finished)
|
Belgium
|
55
|
3
|
Ecuador
|
53
|
3 (finished)
|
Ghana
|
52
|
3 (finished)
|
Greece
|
50
|
3
|
Cote d’Ivoire
|
49
|
3 (finished)
|
Russia
|
41
|
3 (finished)
|
Italy
|
39
|
3 (finished)
|
Honduras
|
37
|
3 (finished)
|
Uruguay
|
36
|
4 (finished)
|
Switzerland
|
35
|
3
|
Croatia
|
33
|
3 (finished)
|
Cameroon
|
32
|
3 (finished)
|
Portugal
|
31
|
3 (finished)
|
England
|
29
|
3 (finished)
|
Iran
|
26
|
3 (finished)
|
Algeria
|
24
|
3
|
Ahoy Syndicate Members,
WHAT ANOTHER FANTASTIC SUMMER’S EVE!! Those were two
absolutely gripping matches were they not? One can’t beat the drama of penalty
kicks, particularly when the hopes of the high-strung hosts are involved. So
many storylines this morning. How about Vidal pushing himself to the absolute
limit for the underdog Chileans? How about Gary Medel fighting hard to stay on
the pitch even after both of his legs had gone? How about Pinella’s hellfire
missile of an effort in the 120th, and Neymar’s tears after he
converted what proved to be the match-winning penalty!
The poor Chileans have now been eliminated by the Brazilians
in the Knockout Phases of their last three World Cups (1998, 2010, and 2014).
Your friendly bookie watched all the drama unfold amongst hundreds of Chilean
enthusiasts in the Great Hall of the Karlsruhe Rheninhafen Harbor. There was a
festival last night that I simply couldn’t refuse. WM Public Viewing on a
30-foot high HD Projector! Hell’s yes. We all sang, cheering, and gorged
ourselves on Bratwurst, Dampfnudeln, and fish burgers. What an electrifying
experience.
Is there a better place to watch a football match than on a 30-foot HD Projector? As it turns out, THERE IS! After the gripping first match it was time to walk around a little bit, down a few draft beers, and head for a cruise on the Rhein! Yes sir, you’re friendly bookie found himself “on a boat”. He shits you not! He was on a boat, on a boat,
TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THE MOTHERFUCKING BOAT!!
……
……
……
……
……
……
…….
…….
…….
……
…….
…….
…….
Undulating waves on the Rhein as the weather turned every
bit as intense as the second fixture. Great acrobatic keeping from David Ospinna.
Amazing technical skill from Teofilio Gutirrerz. And James Rodriguez. …….more
fish burgers too……. ; )
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
I’M ON A BOAT, MOTHERFUCKER!!
Another magical twilight. If you haven’t had a chance to get
out and make yourselves some 2014 World Cup memories, GET ON IT. You only have
NINE match days left.
Let’s review all the action, starting with this link. Viel
Spaß!
“‘Drawing
it Up’ For the Survivors”
1)
Brazil
Projected
Lineup:
"The
Samba Kings” (4-3-3)—Match Four
Fred
|
Neymar
Hulk
|
Oscar Paulinho
|
Luis Gustavo
|
Marcelo D. Luiz T. Silva D. Alves
|
Julio Cesar
|
Actual
Lineup:
“The
Samba Kings” (4-2-3-1)—Match Four
Fred
|
Neymar Oscar Hulk
|
Luiz
Gustavo Fernandinho
|
Marcelo
Dani Alves
|
D. Luiz T. Silva
|
Julio Cesar
|
That’s how your friendly bookie saw it at least. No major
surprises in defense. It made perfect sense to position Gustavo and Oscar
further up the pitch. Fernandinho got the surpsie start over Paulinho, but
didn’t perform especially well.
We might see
Hulk move up to center forward after his spunky performance on the wing. My
immediate reaction is that the disallowed goal was a false call. I’ll have to
review the tape again of course, but it looked to me like Hulk brought it down
with his shoulder. Scolari needs serious help at striker. Jo came on for the
ineffective Fred in the 64th, to absolutely no avail. Ramires served
as a sort of pseudo-faux-number 9 after Fernandinho went off in the 72nd.
Once again, he seemed to have failed in this charge. Willan replaced Oscar in
the 106th, but didn’t see enough action to merit a grade.
Here are the marks:
Grades:
Grades—Brazil
(Match Four)
Julio Cesar
|
A+
|
Neymar Jr
|
A
|
Thiago Silva
|
A
|
David Luiz
|
A-
|
Hulk
|
B
|
Oscar
|
B-
|
Dani Alves
|
B-
|
Marcelo
|
C+
|
Luiz Gustavo
|
C
|
Fernandinho
|
C-
|
Fred
|
D
|
Ramires
|
D
|
Jo
|
F
|
Might as well emphasize this again: Scolari needs SERIOUS
help at striker. Fred and Jo just don’t have what it takes this go-around. We
might see him move either Hulk or Neymar up front and give Bernard the start on
the wing. He really doesn’t have too many options beyond that.
2)
Columbia
Projected
Lineup:
“The
Coffee Growers” (4-3-2-1)
Teofilo Gutierrez
|
J.G.
Cuadrado
Jackson Martinez
|
J.F. Quintero F. Guarin V. Ibarbo
|
Pablo Armero
J.C. Zuniga
|
Mario Yepes C. Zapata
|
David Ospina
|
Actual
Lineup:
“The
Coffee Growers” (4-2-2-2)
Teofilo Gutierrez Jackson
Martinez
|
J.G.
Cuadrado
James Rodriguez
|
Abel Aguilar Carlos Sanchez
|
Pablo Armero
J.C. Zuniga
|
Mario Yepes C. Zapata
|
David Ospina
|
Spot on in terms of the back four. Their defense is actually
quite strong. Yepes is the VERY old (38-years-old!) captain and spiritual
leader. The younger and hungrier trio of Amero, Zapata, and Zuniga besets him.
They’ve even got a very acrobatic keeper in Ospina. Brazil will have serious
trouble cracking this nut.
Of course, your friendly bookie got almost everything else
wrong. Count him among many who simply didn’t see James Rodriguez coming. How
could I? He did start the first two matches, grabbing a goal in each one. He
was nevertheless benched in favor of Quintero against Japan. He came off the
back to tally in that match as well. Now he’s the leader for the Golden Boot!
Many were picking him to be the “next Valderama” as far back
as two years ago, but it looks like your friendly bookie just wasn’t paying
close enough attention. Apologies, kid! You’re fucking incredible.
Guarin did come as a late substitute, yet neither he nor
Adrian Ramos will get grades. Alexander Meijda did a fair-to-middling job in
relief of Teofilio Gutierrez.
Marks upcoming
Grades:
Grades—Columbia
(Match Four)
James Rodriguez
|
A+
|
Teofilio Gutierrez
|
A
|
Abel Aguilar
|
A
|
David Ospina
|
A
|
Pablo Armero
|
A
|
Mario Yepes
|
A-
|
J.C. Zuniga
|
B+
|
C. Zapata
|
B+
|
Jackson Martinez
|
B
|
J.C. Cuardado
|
B-
|
Carlos Sanchez
|
B-
|
Alexander Meija
|
C+
|
A VERY STRONG SIDE. An upset of Brazil in the Quarters is
VERY POSSIBLE!
Goodbyes
Section
Chile
—“La Roja Americana”
-6 Goals Scored
-74 Hot Girls
They shall be sorely missed, at least by this bookie.
Uniquely inequitable structure to the elimination brackets this year, even more
so than usual. Harried Hosts Brazil must fend off Chile, Columbia, and
(presumably) either France or Germany if they’re to have any hopes of making
the finals. By contrast, the bottom half of the brackets afford nations like
Greece, Holland, and Argentina an easy path to the finals should they
advance.
The brackets are, of course, never fairly balanced. Neither
is life. Last night cruel chance and circumstance claimed its first casualty in
this highly entertaining Chilean side that could have made the semis if not for
the hard luck of the draw. They sure as hell gave us a great show, and made
your friendly bookie look like even more of a damn fool by defying his dire
predictions.
From WM 2014—Group B Preview
Argentine
manager Jorge Sampoli has undeniably assembled the most talented Chilean squad
in over fifty years. He picked up right where his mentor (fellow Argentine
Marcelo Bielsa) left off. The whole staff scouted and recruited with remarkable
success. The result is a squad comprised of a record 13 players playing in
Europe’s top leagues. With so much ability and momentum working for them, the
Chileans have become the fashionable pick among amateur bookies to serve as
this tournament’s Cinderella. In nearly every match they turn out to be
comeback kids! Surely the Glass Slipper fits a country now run once again by
Michele Bachelet!!
Oh how
alluring it is. I want to don my Romantic Robes and tell you that this team can
improbably punch through to the knockout stages, just as they did in 1998 and
2010. I just don’t see it happening. Might as well tell you why.
Editor’s
Retroactive Notes:
This
should be good…
Alexis
Sanchez and Eduardo Vargas are certainly upgrades over Humberto Suarez and Mark
Gonzalez, but Vargas still strikes me as a “work in progress”. He needs to find
a steady team and display more consistency.
Editor’s
Retroactive Notes:
Vargas
took all of twelve minutes to set up Alexis Sanchez’s magnificent goal in the
opener against Australia. He was involved in the run up to the second goal two
minutes later. He’d add his goal from the spot in the Spain upset and deserves
full credit for the equalizer last night. It was him who pounced on that slack
throw in to set up Sanchez square. He should have no difficulty finding a
regular place now.
Nothing
too critical to say about Sanchez, especially not after his marvelous season
for Barça, but he benefited greatly from some of the set ups he got from
veteran leaders like Suazo, M. Gonzalez, and Pizzaro. Sampoli can’t be accused
of opting for youth in his selection, but questions regarding chemistry abound.
Editor’s
Retroactive Notes:
As intimated
above, Vargas had no problems squaring or crossing for him. The Barça man had
no problems finishing.
Why
isn’t Beausejour hitting his teammates anymore? Did it have something to do
with his saga with Borghi? Why doesn’t Vidal seem at home on the national side
anymore? He’s been doing great for Juventus Turin. What’s wrong? Why is it
taking so long for Marcelo Diaz to blossom on the grand stage? Why don’t
Gonzalo Jara and Marcos Gonzales pour forward more often? They’ve got the
aerial skills!
Editor’s
Retroactive Notes:
Who the
hell cares? Even with all his theatrics, Vidal played another beast of a game
last night. Beausejour barely factored in despite an added time goal against
the Aussies. Jara and Diaz did just fine. Marcos Gonzalez didn’t make the final
cut. Isla, Mena, and Medel turned out to be better choices
What a show they put on for us last night! So many memorable
scenes that will stay with this bookie forever. The way Vargas snatched up that
loose ball. The way Vidal just ran his heart out (he covered nearly 11
Kilometers in only 87 minutes of play!). There was the way Gary Medel kept
fighting to stay on the pitch with both of his legs taped up. He waved off the
fourth official when Sampaoli signaled for his substitution in the 108th.
He just didn’t want to quite! How about that fighting spirit?
There was the manner in which Pinella audaciously unleashed
that long-range effort in the 120th. The reverberating crossbar let
us all know that more thrilling drama was to come. Speaking of reverberating
woodwork, how about Jara’s spot kick that brought the enthralling shootout to
its conclusion? What a titillating blast to end on! The whole match was a
blast, perhaps the best all-around fixture we’ve witnessed thus far.
For Latin American fans, the “Red Hot Chile Peppers” return
as hosts of the 2015 Copa America. This Continental Championship runs from the
11th of June to the 4th of July next Summer. Even if he
wanted to make the COMNEBOL Championship next summer’s event, your friendly
bookie just can’t do it. The 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup runs contemporaneously
(er… “at the same time” in the event that anyone just decided to NEVER bother
with this blog again).
Wave goodbye to Beasajour and Jose Rojas. Everyone else
should be back. Vidal, Vargas, Sanchez, Mena, Medel, Isla, and “Über-Keeper”
Claudio Bravo all look set to return.
Uruguay
—“La Celeste”
-4 Goals Scored
-74 Hot Girls
This why one must resist the tantalizing aromas wafting from
Italian shoulders. They’re heavenly aren’t they? Italian shoulders (I’m told)
taste like Proscuitto. “Chewy Louis” was simply hungry. That provides an
excellent segue into my favorite “Headline Riff” of the tournament. I believe
it was the British edition of “The Huffington Post” that went with “Chewy Louis
and the Blues”.
Coming in a distant second we have that gag about what Louis
Suarez has in common with a serviceable laptop (they both have good access to
net and can store a minimum of 8 [Giga] Bytes. Har-de-har-har? Apart from the
most bizarre on the pitch-incident since Marco Materezzi uttered the immortal
words to Zinedine Zidane --“I prefer your sister!”—one just always knew the
Blues couldn’t do it without their Talisman.
From WM 2014—Group D Preview
La
Celeste’s chances of making the Knockout Stage without Suarez are greatly
reduced. Diego Forlan cannot hope to replace him, not at this stage in his
career. He’s playing in Japan for fuck’s sake. Palermo’s Abel Hernandez may be
a very competent forward, but the Italians know him all to well. That’s the
primary reason why Tabarez opted not to start him in last summer’s
Confederations Cup Third Place Playoff. Even if Suarez defies the odds and
makes it back for the second group stage match against England (luckily the
first pits La Celeste against hapless Costa Rica), we can assume he won’t be
100 percent.
From WM 2014—Day 15 Recap
Columbia vs. Uruguay
Without Suarez…..I’m sorry the difference is NIGHT and
DAY. I don’t care how good Cavani can be, this team cannot operate without
their Talisman. By contrast, the Coffee Growers adjusted to life without
Radamel Falcao without skipping a beat. Jackson Martinez and James Rodriguez
overcome a Maxi Pereira set-piece strike.
THE
LINE: Columbia +1 Goal (debuting)
With respect to the incident itself, I stand by my analysis,
even if it’s by now become clear that the bite was at least partially
intentional.
From WM 2014—Day 13 Recap
The
Talisman—Luis Suarez
He’s a douche. His flagrant handball sent the poor Black
Stars home early in 2010. Even if he was adequately penalized, he remained on
the pitch to celebrate and made obnoxious remarks afterward. He earned a
completely justified suspension for despicable racist remarks made against
Patrice Evra. Again, punishment was meted out fairly. It wouldn’t have been so
bad if Suarez hadn’t refused to shake Evra’s hand his first game back. What
more could you ask for? The “international asshole”. He dives. He whines. He
pouts. He’s also the Premiership Player of the Year.
In
addition to these better-publicized incidents, Suarez has twice been suspended
for biting players. He received a seven-match-ban in 2010 when playing for Ajax
after biting PSV midfielder Otman Bakkal. Three years later, when playing for
Liverpool, he bit the arm of Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic. That incident earned
him a ten-match-ban.
He’s
taunted David Moises. He’s punched other players in the face. He’s flagrantly
cheated again, again, and again. So then….an "open and shut case"?
Not quite. Admittedly, I was hopping mad alongside my Azzuri “half-brothers”
when the collision took place. You’re looking at an actual photo taken with my
i-phone that documents the audience reaction to the purported bite. Your
friendly bookie was waving and shouting too. Of course Suarez was guilty. He’s
ALWAYS GUILTY!!
Not so
fast. I’ve reviewed the tape and the contact actually looks incidental. If
Suarez intended to bite Chielleni, why is he holding his teeth afterwards? It
just looks like a freak-accident. Having given this a great deal of thought,
I’m coming around to Uruguayan coach Oscar Tabarez’s position. What the fuck
was that Theaterstück from Chielleni all about? Typical poor sportsmanship from
the Italians. When not the better team, they flail their arms about and look to
influence the officiating. Man up, fratello!
It’s remains possible to summon up some sympathy for this
unfortunate country of less than three million football fantatics. There may
not have been a FIFA Conspiracy, but they could have delayed their
investigation until after last night’s match. In the end, the punishment meted
out was fair, but the incident wasn’t serious enough to throw him out of the WM
altogether. I’ll reiterate, “love the country, hate the team”. It would have
been really cool to see them face off against Brazil in an epic Quarterfinal
battle. So much history there. Oh well. Brazil vs. Columbia should prove very
entertaining too.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Sixteen
Reader:
So….are you and Syndicate “Membress” 2-F gonna settle down and have some kids
or something?
Vicey:
Bwahahahahahah! Quality riff. I’m afraid that NO ONE can hope to tame a “Wild
Vice”; not even a hellcat. Being single has sooo many advantages. 99
problems…goes the not-so-old adage. Anyway, the coinage of “Syndicate Membress”
is damn cool, but you know full well that the twelve female members of the
Syndicate are collectively known as “The Syndi-Cats”. We’ll be keeping that
one.
DAY
SEVENTEEN--PREVIEW
Everyone up for a “Super Sunday”? Many American Syndicate
Members are backing Mexico in an unanticipated show of regional solidarity. The
line is thus rolling down hard and betting is closed. A highly entertaining
fixture awaits us regardless. Greece vs. Costa Rica should be tons of fun too.
The Netherlands vs. Mexico
BETTING IS CLOSED! Good luck, Stateside Syndicate Members.
Perhaps you’ll get to “take her out for a spin” with some of your Mexican
colleagues.
THE
LINE: “Pick em” (rolling down HARD from Holland +2) (closed)
Costa Rica vs. Greece
No one interested in taking advantage of Vicey’s “Upset
Special”. You’ve still got time, gentlemen?
UPSET
ALERT!
UPSET
ALERT!
UPSET
ALERT!
THE
LINE: Costa Rica +1 Goal (holding)
Gentlemen,
Enter Your Wagers