Sunday, June 29, 2014

WM 2014--Day Sixteen Recap


Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by “Pißwasser Pils”

 
BITTE EIN PIß!!


Day 16: Recap


Record—
Spread: 16-34
Straight up: 22-19-9

Hot Girl Standings

Country
Tally
Games Played
Brazil
145
4
Columbia
106
4
Netherlands
96
3
Argentina
90
3
Costa Rica
79
3
France
76
3
Chile
74
4 (finished)
Japan
66
3 (finished)
USA
65
3
South Korea
65
3 (finished)
Germany
64
3
Australia
63
3 (finished)
Nigeria
61
3
Mexico
59
3
Bosnia & H
59
3 (finished)
Spain
58
3 (finished)
Belgium
55
3
Ecuador
53
3 (finished)
Ghana
52
3 (finished)
Greece
50
3
Cote d’Ivoire
49
3 (finished)
Russia
41
3 (finished)
Italy
39
3 (finished)
Honduras
37
3 (finished)
Uruguay
36
4 (finished)
Switzerland
35
3
Croatia
33
3 (finished)
Cameroon
32
3 (finished)
Portugal
31
3 (finished)
England
29
3 (finished)
Iran
26
3 (finished)
Algeria
24
3

Ahoy Syndicate Members,


WHAT ANOTHER FANTASTIC SUMMER’S EVE!! Those were two absolutely gripping matches were they not? One can’t beat the drama of penalty kicks, particularly when the hopes of the high-strung hosts are involved. So many storylines this morning. How about Vidal pushing himself to the absolute limit for the underdog Chileans? How about Gary Medel fighting hard to stay on the pitch even after both of his legs had gone? How about Pinella’s hellfire missile of an effort in the 120th, and Neymar’s tears after he converted what proved to be the match-winning penalty!

The poor Chileans have now been eliminated by the Brazilians in the Knockout Phases of their last three World Cups (1998, 2010, and 2014). Your friendly bookie watched all the drama unfold amongst hundreds of Chilean enthusiasts in the Great Hall of the Karlsruhe Rheninhafen Harbor. There was a festival last night that I simply couldn’t refuse. WM Public Viewing on a 30-foot high HD Projector! Hell’s yes. We all sang, cheering, and gorged ourselves on Bratwurst, Dampfnudeln, and fish burgers. What an electrifying experience.
Day 16 Recap (3)

Is there a better place to watch a football match than on a 30-foot HD Projector? As it turns out, THERE IS! After the gripping first match it was time to walk around a little bit, down a few draft beers, and head for a cruise on the Rhein! Yes sir, you’re friendly bookie found himself “on a boat”. He shits you not! He was on a boat, on a boat,

TAKE A GOOD HARD LOOK AT THE MOTHERFUCKING BOAT!!

……
……
……
……
Day 16 Recap  (1)……
……
……
…….
…….
…….
……
…….
…….
…….

Undulating waves on the Rhein as the weather turned every bit as intense as the second fixture. Great acrobatic keeping from David Ospinna. Amazing technical skill from Teofilio Gutirrerz. And James Rodriguez. …….more fish burgers too……. ; )
Day 16 Recap (2)
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..
…..

I’M ON A BOAT, MOTHERFUCKER!!

Another magical twilight. If you haven’t had a chance to get out and make yourselves some 2014 World Cup memories, GET ON IT. You only have NINE match days left.

Let’s review all the action, starting with this link. Viel Spaß!



“‘Drawing it Up’ For the Survivors”

 1) Brazil 

Projected Lineup:

  "The Samba Kings” (4-3-3)—Match Four 

                     Fred
       Neymar             Hulk   
           Oscar         Paulinho
                Luis Gustavo
Marcelo D. Luiz T. Silva D. Alves
                  Julio Cesar

Actual Lineup:

 “The Samba Kings” (4-2-3-1)—Match Four 

                     Fred
       Neymar Oscar Hulk   
   Luiz Gustavo   Fernandinho
    Marcelo              Dani Alves
            D. Luiz T. Silva
               Julio Cesar

That’s how your friendly bookie saw it at least. No major surprises in defense. It made perfect sense to position Gustavo and Oscar further up the pitch. Fernandinho got the surpsie start over Paulinho, but didn’t perform especially well.

 We might see Hulk move up to center forward after his spunky performance on the wing. My immediate reaction is that the disallowed goal was a false call. I’ll have to review the tape again of course, but it looked to me like Hulk brought it down with his shoulder. Scolari needs serious help at striker. Jo came on for the ineffective Fred in the 64th, to absolutely no avail. Ramires served as a sort of pseudo-faux-number 9 after Fernandinho went off in the 72nd. Once again, he seemed to have failed in this charge. Willan replaced Oscar in the 106th, but didn’t see enough action to merit a grade.

Here are the marks:

Grades:


 Grades—Brazil (Match Four) 
Julio Cesar
A+
Neymar Jr
A
Thiago Silva
A
David Luiz
A-
Hulk
B
Oscar
B-
Dani Alves
B-
Marcelo
C+
Luiz Gustavo
C
Fernandinho
C-
Fred
D
Ramires
D
Jo
F

Might as well emphasize this again: Scolari needs SERIOUS help at striker. Fred and Jo just don’t have what it takes this go-around. We might see him move either Hulk or Neymar up front and give Bernard the start on the wing. He really doesn’t have too many options beyond that.

 2) Columbia 

Projected Lineup:

 “The Coffee Growers” (4-3-2-1) 

               Teofilo Gutierrez
 J.G. Cuadrado      Jackson Martinez
J.F. Quintero F. Guarin V. Ibarbo
Pablo Armero             J.C. Zuniga         
      Mario Yepes C. Zapata   
                David Ospina

Actual Lineup:

 “The Coffee Growers” (4-2-2-2)

       Teofilo Gutierrez Jackson Martinez
 J.G. Cuadrado                  James Rodriguez
        Abel Aguilar   Carlos Sanchez   
Pablo Armero             J.C. Zuniga         
      Mario Yepes C. Zapata   
                David Ospina

Spot on in terms of the back four. Their defense is actually quite strong. Yepes is the VERY old (38-years-old!) captain and spiritual leader. The younger and hungrier trio of Amero, Zapata, and Zuniga besets him. They’ve even got a very acrobatic keeper in Ospina. Brazil will have serious trouble cracking this nut.

Of course, your friendly bookie got almost everything else wrong. Count him among many who simply didn’t see James Rodriguez coming. How could I? He did start the first two matches, grabbing a goal in each one. He was nevertheless benched in favor of Quintero against Japan. He came off the back to tally in that match as well. Now he’s the leader for the Golden Boot!

Many were picking him to be the “next Valderama” as far back as two years ago, but it looks like your friendly bookie just wasn’t paying close enough attention. Apologies, kid! You’re fucking incredible.

Guarin did come as a late substitute, yet neither he nor Adrian Ramos will get grades. Alexander Meijda did a fair-to-middling job in relief of Teofilio Gutierrez.

Marks upcoming

Grades:

 Grades—Columbia (Match Four) 
James Rodriguez
A+
Teofilio Gutierrez
A
Abel Aguilar
A
David Ospina
A
Pablo Armero
A
Mario Yepes
A-
J.C. Zuniga
B+
C. Zapata
B+
Jackson Martinez
B
J.C. Cuardado
B-
Carlos Sanchez
B-
Alexander Meija
C+

A VERY STRONG SIDE. An upset of Brazil in the Quarters is VERY POSSIBLE!

Goodbyes Section

Chile —“La Roja Americana”

Shirt badge/Association crest-4 Games Played
-6 Goals Scored
-74 Hot Girls

They shall be sorely missed, at least by this bookie. Uniquely inequitable structure to the elimination brackets this year, even more so than usual. Harried Hosts Brazil must fend off Chile, Columbia, and (presumably) either France or Germany if they’re to have any hopes of making the finals. By contrast, the bottom half of the brackets afford nations like Greece, Holland, and Argentina an easy path to the finals should they advance. 

The brackets are, of course, never fairly balanced. Neither is life. Last night cruel chance and circumstance claimed its first casualty in this highly entertaining Chilean side that could have made the semis if not for the hard luck of the draw. They sure as hell gave us a great show, and made your friendly bookie look like even more of a damn fool by defying his dire predictions.

From WM 2014—Group B Preview

Argentine manager Jorge Sampoli has undeniably assembled the most talented Chilean squad in over fifty years. He picked up right where his mentor (fellow Argentine Marcelo Bielsa) left off. The whole staff scouted and recruited with remarkable success. The result is a squad comprised of a record 13 players playing in Europe’s top leagues. With so much ability and momentum working for them, the Chileans have become the fashionable pick among amateur bookies to serve as this tournament’s Cinderella. In nearly every match they turn out to be comeback kids! Surely the Glass Slipper fits a country now run once again by Michele Bachelet!!

Oh how alluring it is. I want to don my Romantic Robes and tell you that this team can improbably punch through to the knockout stages, just as they did in 1998 and 2010. I just don’t see it happening. Might as well tell you why.

Editor’s Retroactive Notes:

This should be good…

Alexis Sanchez and Eduardo Vargas are certainly upgrades over Humberto Suarez and Mark Gonzalez, but Vargas still strikes me as a “work in progress”. He needs to find a steady team and display more consistency.

Editor’s Retroactive Notes:

Vargas took all of twelve minutes to set up Alexis Sanchez’s magnificent goal in the opener against Australia. He was involved in the run up to the second goal two minutes later. He’d add his goal from the spot in the Spain upset and deserves full credit for the equalizer last night. It was him who pounced on that slack throw in to set up Sanchez square. He should have no difficulty finding a regular place now.

Nothing too critical to say about Sanchez, especially not after his marvelous season for Barça, but he benefited greatly from some of the set ups he got from veteran leaders like Suazo, M. Gonzalez, and Pizzaro. Sampoli can’t be accused of opting for youth in his selection, but questions regarding chemistry abound.

Editor’s Retroactive Notes:

As intimated above, Vargas had no problems squaring or crossing for him. The Barça man had no problems finishing.

Why isn’t Beausejour hitting his teammates anymore? Did it have something to do with his saga with Borghi? Why doesn’t Vidal seem at home on the national side anymore? He’s been doing great for Juventus Turin. What’s wrong? Why is it taking so long for Marcelo Diaz to blossom on the grand stage? Why don’t Gonzalo Jara and Marcos Gonzales pour forward more often? They’ve got the aerial skills!

Editor’s Retroactive Notes:

Who the hell cares? Even with all his theatrics, Vidal played another beast of a game last night. Beausejour barely factored in despite an added time goal against the Aussies. Jara and Diaz did just fine. Marcos Gonzalez didn’t make the final cut. Isla, Mena, and Medel turned out to be better choices

What a show they put on for us last night! So many memorable scenes that will stay with this bookie forever. The way Vargas snatched up that loose ball. The way Vidal just ran his heart out (he covered nearly 11 Kilometers in only 87 minutes of play!). There was the way Gary Medel kept fighting to stay on the pitch with both of his legs taped up. He waved off the fourth official when Sampaoli signaled for his substitution in the 108th. He just didn’t want to quite! How about that fighting spirit?

There was the manner in which Pinella audaciously unleashed that long-range effort in the 120th. The reverberating crossbar let us all know that more thrilling drama was to come. Speaking of reverberating woodwork, how about Jara’s spot kick that brought the enthralling shootout to its conclusion? What a titillating blast to end on! The whole match was a blast, perhaps the best all-around fixture we’ve witnessed thus far.
 
For Latin American fans, the “Red Hot Chile Peppers” return as hosts of the 2015 Copa America. This Continental Championship runs from the 11th of June to the 4th of July next Summer. Even if he wanted to make the COMNEBOL Championship next summer’s event, your friendly bookie just can’t do it. The 2015 FIFA Women’s World Cup runs contemporaneously (er… “at the same time” in the event that anyone just decided to NEVER bother with this blog again).


Syndicate Members will thus have to wait a minimum of two years before your friendly bookie covers the Chileans again. The Copa America celebrates its Centennial in the Summer of 2016. In commemoration, COMNEBOL will merge with CONCACAF for one special “Super Tournament” to be held in the United States. If all goes well, this could pave the way for the potentially awesome CONCACAF-COMNEBOL merger that all of us diehard football fans have long advocated.  It overlaps with the 2016 European Championship, but your friendly bookie is considering making an effort to cover both.

Wave goodbye to Beasajour and Jose Rojas. Everyone else should be back. Vidal, Vargas, Sanchez, Mena, Medel, Isla, and “Über-Keeper” Claudio Bravo all look set to return.


Uruguay —“La Celeste”

Shirt badge/Association crest-4 Games Played
-4 Goals Scored
-74 Hot Girls

This why one must resist the tantalizing aromas wafting from Italian shoulders. They’re heavenly aren’t they? Italian shoulders (I’m told) taste like Proscuitto. “Chewy Louis” was simply hungry. That provides an excellent segue into my favorite “Headline Riff” of the tournament. I believe it was the British edition of “The Huffington Post” that went with “Chewy Louis and the Blues”.

Coming in a distant second we have that gag about what Louis Suarez has in common with a serviceable laptop (they both have good access to net and can store a minimum of 8 [Giga] Bytes. Har-de-har-har? Apart from the most bizarre on the pitch-incident since Marco Materezzi uttered the immortal words to Zinedine Zidane --“I prefer your sister!”—one just always knew the Blues couldn’t do it without their Talisman.

From WM 2014—Group D Preview 

La Celeste’s chances of making the Knockout Stage without Suarez are greatly reduced. Diego Forlan cannot hope to replace him, not at this stage in his career. He’s playing in Japan for fuck’s sake. Palermo’s Abel Hernandez may be a very competent forward, but the Italians know him all to well. That’s the primary reason why Tabarez opted not to start him in last summer’s Confederations Cup Third Place Playoff. Even if Suarez defies the odds and makes it back for the second group stage match against England (luckily the first pits La Celeste against hapless Costa Rica), we can assume he won’t be 100 percent.

From WM 2014—Day 15 Recap

Columbia vs. Uruguay

  vs. 

Without Suarez…..I’m sorry the difference is NIGHT and DAY. I don’t care how good Cavani can be, this team cannot operate without their Talisman. By contrast, the Coffee Growers adjusted to life without Radamel Falcao without skipping a beat. Jackson Martinez and James Rodriguez overcome a Maxi Pereira set-piece strike.

THE LINE:  Columbia +1 Goal  (debuting)

With respect to the incident itself, I stand by my analysis, even if it’s by now become clear that the bite was at least partially intentional.

From WM 2014—Day 13 Recap

The Talisman—Luis Suarez

He’s a douche. His flagrant handball sent the poor Black Stars home early in 2010. Even if he was adequately penalized, he remained on the pitch to celebrate and made obnoxious remarks afterward. He earned a completely justified suspension for despicable racist remarks made against Patrice Evra. Again, punishment was meted out fairly. It wouldn’t have been so bad if Suarez hadn’t refused to shake Evra’s hand his first game back. What more could you ask for? The “international asshole”. He dives. He whines. He pouts. He’s also the Premiership Player of the Year.

In addition to these better-publicized incidents, Suarez has twice been suspended for biting players. He received a seven-match-ban in 2010 when playing for Ajax after biting PSV midfielder Otman Bakkal. Three years later, when playing for Liverpool, he bit the arm of Chelsea’s Branislav Ivanovic. That incident earned him a ten-match-ban.

He’s taunted David Moises. He’s punched other players in the face. He’s flagrantly cheated again, again, and again. So then….an "open and shut case"? Not quite. Admittedly, I was hopping mad alongside my Azzuri “half-brothers” when the collision took place. You’re looking at an actual photo taken with my i-phone that documents the audience reaction to the purported bite. Your friendly bookie was waving and shouting too. Of course Suarez was guilty. He’s ALWAYS GUILTY!!

 
Not so fast. I’ve reviewed the tape and the contact actually looks incidental. If Suarez intended to bite Chielleni, why is he holding his teeth afterwards? It just looks like a freak-accident. Having given this a great deal of thought, I’m coming around to Uruguayan coach Oscar Tabarez’s position. What the fuck was that Theaterstück from Chielleni all about? Typical poor sportsmanship from the Italians. When not the better team, they flail their arms about and look to influence the officiating. Man up, fratello!

It’s remains possible to summon up some sympathy for this unfortunate country of less than three million football fantatics. There may not have been a FIFA Conspiracy, but they could have delayed their investigation until after last night’s match. In the end, the punishment meted out was fair, but the incident wasn’t serious enough to throw him out of the WM altogether. I’ll reiterate, “love the country, hate the team”. It would have been really cool to see them face off against Brazil in an epic Quarterfinal battle. So much history there. Oh well. Brazil vs. Columbia should prove very entertaining too.

“Riffs of the Day”—Day Sixteen

 

Reader: So….are you and Syndicate “Membress” 2-F gonna settle down and have some kids or something?

Vicey: Bwahahahahahah! Quality riff. I’m afraid that NO ONE can hope to tame a “Wild Vice”; not even a hellcat. Being single has sooo many advantages. 99 problems…goes the not-so-old adage. Anyway, the coinage of “Syndicate Membress” is damn cool, but you know full well that the twelve female members of the Syndicate are collectively known as “The Syndi-Cats”. We’ll be keeping that one. 

DAY SEVENTEEN--PREVIEW

Everyone up for a “Super Sunday”? Many American Syndicate Members are backing Mexico in an unanticipated show of regional solidarity. The line is thus rolling down hard and betting is closed. A highly entertaining fixture awaits us regardless. Greece vs. Costa Rica should be tons of fun too.

The Netherlands vs. Mexico

  vs. 

BETTING IS CLOSED! Good luck, Stateside Syndicate Members. Perhaps you’ll get to “take her out for a spin” with some of your Mexican colleagues.

THE LINE: “Pick em” (rolling down HARD from Holland +2) (closed)

Costa Rica vs. Greece

  vs. 

No one interested in taking advantage of Vicey’s “Upset Special”. You’ve still got time, gentlemen?

UPSET ALERT!

UPSET ALERT!

UPSET ALERT!

THE LINE: Costa Rica +1 Goal (holding)

Gentlemen, Enter Your Wagers