Your “Syndicate Hangover” is proudly presented by
“Pißwasser Pils”
BITTE EIN PIß!!
Day 7: Recap
Record—
Spread: 6-14
Straight up: 10-7-3
Hot Girl
Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games
Played
|
Netherlands
|
74
|
2
|
Brazil
|
70
|
2
|
Australia
|
52
|
2
|
Mexico
|
35
|
2
|
Spain
|
31
|
2
|
Argentina
|
29
|
1
|
Belgium
|
28
|
1
|
Chile
|
28
|
2
|
Germany
|
27
|
1
|
USA
|
27
|
1
|
Columbia
|
25
|
1
|
Cameroon
|
23
|
2
|
Costa Rica
|
21
|
1
|
Cote d’Ivoire
|
21
|
1
|
South Korea
|
21
|
1
|
Japan
|
20
|
1
|
Ecuador
|
20
|
1
|
Russia
|
20
|
1
|
France
|
19
|
1
|
Nigeria
|
18
|
1
|
Bosnia & H
|
17
|
1
|
Croatia
|
17
|
2
|
Ghana
|
12
|
1
|
Switzerland
|
12
|
1
|
Portugal
|
9
|
1
|
Uruguay
|
9
|
1
|
Italy
|
9
|
1
|
Greece
|
8
|
1
|
Honduras
|
8
|
1
|
England
|
4
|
1
|
Iran
|
4
|
1
|
Algeria
|
1
|
1
|
Buenos Dias Syndicate Members,
….
….
….
Qué Cojones??
!CARAMBA!
WHAT?!? No way that just happened. Chile con Carnage! Down
goes Espana. Hasta Luego! Unbelievable. Less than a week into proceedings…it’s
all over. The eight-year-long reign of La Furia Roja is finished. The longest
reigning international football giant has been slain. Goliath has fallen. Ken
Jennings has lost. The era has finished. For the first time since 2006, your
friendly bookie will have to compose a “Goodbyes Section” for the Spanish
Eleven. 2006!
Less than 24 hours from the official “retirement” of the “Vicey
gets it DEAD WRONG?” Segment we must resurrect it for the purposes of this
write-up. Very few were expecting this. We all knew that del Bosque’s boys
wouldn’t be able to repeat as champions for a fourth consecutive international
tournament, but for them to get outright spanked and go crashing out at the
Group stages after only two matches was not at all anticipated.
Well….nobody expects the Spanish Inquisition.
From WM 2014—Group B Preview
Oh
they’re back in a big way. Two years ago I noted that the Spanish cadre earned
over 800 million Euros collectively. Mind you this was a team that didn’t even
feature David Villa (out on injury). They’ve done nothing but improve over the
intervening two years. La Furia Roja are now officially the first “Billion
Dollar Team” in the history of organized sport.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
A billion-dollar fucking disaster. They’re the
“Merrill-Lynch” of organized sport.
From WM 2014—Group B Preview
Prognosticating
doesn’t get much easier than this. La Furia Roja will sail through this group,
felling their soft opposition will all the ease of Javier Bardem holding the
infamous air-gun. Thunk. We’d like to think that “El Tiki-Taka” has finally
been cracked by the likes of Carlos Ancellotti (we’ve been claiming that
tacticians have beaten the celebrated short-passing scheme for around six years
know). We like to think that Xavi Alonso and Xavi Hernandez just don’t have the
legs for tournament football anymore, that Diego Costa isn’t ready, and that
Carlos Puyol was the master cylinder that kept the whole operation motoring on.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Yeah “we” like to think a lot of things that turn out to be
absolutely correct if we just had the courage of our convictions. Javier Bardem
just got T-boned at the intersection. Someone get him a shirt.
From WM 2014—Group B Preview
It’s
tempting to declare and end to the era of Spanish International Football
dominance, particularly when we find ourselves in a strange sphere where
Athletico Madrid can capture La Liga and make it all the way to the Champions
League final. Nonsense. The Reds now have Athletico forward David Villa back
from injury and his teammate Diego Costa ready to rock the world. Athletico’s
surprising surge only makes the national team stronger. The Chileans would make
for the perfect Dark Horse candidates were they not in this group. Not only
will the Spaniards have their way with the most talented Chilean side ever
assembled, the resurgent Dutch will crush them as well.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Er…when the cops come, you didn’t see me. I was already
gone.
From WM 2014—Round One
Spain
vs. the Netherlands
Blockbuster,
baby. La Roja defend the World Championship and TWO consecutive European
Championships. They may be the best team ever…and they have no intention of
abdicating their throne…..like….oh fuck it. That joke’s just too obvious.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Del Bosque and Juan Carlos will soon be eating oatmeal and
drooling on themselves in some far-off secluded Old Folks Home. Perhaps they
should try Italy. Berlusconi could serve them.
From WM 2014—Day Two Recap
Okay.
Let’s settle down a bit and analyze matters. It’s not quite as dour as everyone
thinks. I’ll begin by emphasizing that “El Tiki-Taka” is not dead. The Spanish
short-passing game remains alive and well, as evidenced by a strong first half
during which del Bosque’s men were highly competitive and could have easily
gone up 3-0. I aver that the system still works provided a few ghastly
defensive errors don’t fling open the floodgates. We shouldn’t forget that this
was a tight contest all the way up to the 65th minute.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
It’s dead. Xavi Alonso, Busquets and Iniesta could barely
get any touches in at all last night. It didn’t even look as if they were
attempting to establish a midfield pocket. Mostly they just fired over from
long range. Likewise, Silva and Pedro didn’t even attempt to cycle. I suppose
the key to beating the system is crystal clear: Grab an early lead. Then they
can’t even begin to implement their gameplan.
From WM 2014—Day Two Recap:
Bottom
Line: The strategy still works. Iniesta and the two Xavis can still generate
good movement and triangulation. They need better finishing from their
strikers, but that’s not really a problem considering how deep this bench is.
Del
Bosque illustrates this with his substitutions. He swapped out Costa and Xavi
Alonso for Torres and Pedro in the 62nd. Torres has gotten into the
swing of things over at The Bridge. Even if he hadn’t revitalized his career
over at Chelsea, he’s still the national side’s good luck charm; a great
late-game “Number 9” option. So is Barça’s Pedro. I’m convinced that Villa
isn’t done yet either, even if he’s headed to semi-retirement in MLS.
Del
Bosque’s double substitution was a great move. Unluckily for him, Stefan De
Vrij scored Holland’s third goal three minutes later and the whole tactical
switch was essentially rendered moot. Torres got some good looks. So did 78th
minute sub Fabregas. Del Bosque has the new Chelsea-signing at his disposal
coming off the bench. He also has Santi Carzola, Juan Mata, and Javi Martinez.
This squad is too deep and too talented to simply fade away without a fight.
Relax, Spanish fans. You’ll be back!
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
HA! You’ll be back home is where you’ll be. Del Bosque
simply wasn’t courageous enough in his lineup selection. He moved Iniesta and
Xavi Alonso into central midfield, dropped Xavi Hernandez, and gave Pedro the
start on the left wing. He favored Javi Martinez over Gerald Pique in central
defense…..but that’s all! How in the hell can you make only TWO changes after a
5-1 thrashing? To give Costa and Ramos the start was just stupid! This of
course brings us to…
From WM 2014—Round Two:
The
road back begins with this pressing keeper question. Something tells me del
Bosque isn’t quite the type to embarrass his captain with a potentially
destabilizing benching. “The Walrus” doesn’t roll that way. Pepe doesn’t star
Merseyside anymore anyway and to make such a public show of panicking would
only serve to send a signal to the players that the ship is sinking.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Dammit. He should have benched him. Casillas looked awful on
both those goals. On the first one he overcommitted on Vargas and couldn’t get
back into position in time. The second tally was entirely his fault. What the
hell kind of punch clear was that, Iker? Tip it out into touch, collect it, or
REALLY PUNCH IT!!
From WM 2014—Round Two
Maintain
calm. Adjustments need to be made, but they can be done quietly. Pique and
Ramos appear completely out of sync at the back. Their failure to hold the
defensive line directly led to van Persie’s equalizer. To replace one of them
seems unthinkable, but Juanfran deserves a shot. The Athletico defender is more
effective on the wing, so it might be prudent to move Azpilicueta in or simply
start Raul Albiol in a reformatted 3-5-2.
Bad
news in the defense quickly turns into terrible news for del Bosque. He took
only six defenders to make way for his 10 midfielders and 4 strikers. A
reworking of the formation appears the only real solution at this stage. It’s
not as if “La Roja” can afford to sit back and defend in this match anyway.
They need to make a statement early. Go for the 3-5-2, Vincente!
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Oh why don’t you listen, Walrus. WHY?
From WM 2014—Round Two
Replacing
either David Luiz or Sergio Busquets with Fabregas shouldn’t be too scandalous.
Taking off one of the Xavis for Javi Martinez also won’t cause a ruckus. Santi
Carzola deserves some serious consideration if he’s fit.
It’s
anyone’s guess who he might choose up front. In Euro 2012 he began with
Fabregas as his primary center forward, then settled on Torres for a little
while. Before allowing Fernando to get comfortable he then switched to Silva,
gave Negredo a shot, and then switched back to Fabregas for the final. Del
Bosque loves to mix it up with his deep kader. He’s a great trainer for
tournament football, acutely aware that his player’s fitness levels must be
closely monitored.
It
will be a game-time decision. Factors such as chemistry and projected opposing
defenses come into play too, of course. All we know for sure is that Diego
Costa is done…for now. He’s got to go sit in the corner and think about what
he’s done. Come back when you’re ready to turn on the jets.
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Oh why don’t you listen, Walrus. WHY?
From WM 2014—Day Six Recap
We’re just getting started. Go find a Spanish bar tonight
and cheer along with the La Roja enthusiasts. Grab a pretty girl and give her a
twirl on the dance floor. Sing “Ole Ole” until you lose your voice. It’s the
World Cup, gentlemen. It’s Summer. It’s MAGIC.
….
Spain vs. Chile
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!! It’s do-or-die time for La Roja.
They must win or go home. They’ll win ; ) Be a part of it!
THE
LINE: Spain +2 Goals (rolling from +1)
Editor’s Retroactive Notes
Well…..I hope at least some of you a had a good time anyway.
It’s only a game at the end of the day. There’s so much more important than
football. As seriously as many might think I take it, your friendly bookie is
actually quite stoic about wins and losses. Far more important is how one
watched the game.
Still, what an astounding Tsunami the Spanish Exit was. No
one expects the Spanish Inquisition.
Perhaps Mariano Rajoy should have visited the dressing room
like our Angie.
The Spanish Shellshock was sandwiched in between two other
high-octane matches that featured plenty of goals. The Netherlands-Australia
affair was a real sizzler. Robben and van Persie both kept up their impressive
respective runs of form with more goals. Robben’s 20th minute opener
was all sublime skill and hustle. Van Persie’s 58th minute equalizer
similarly came at the end of a nice long run. Both burst through the defensive
ranks and finished immaculately. We even got to see a 68th minute
scorcher from this new kid Memphis Depay. He’s come out of nowhere to challenge
Belgium’s Eden Hazard for “best porn name of the tournament”.
In terms of the Socceroos, I was really impressed by the
play of this young winger Mathew Leckie. He was responsible for most of the
creativity that kept the Aussies in the game. The 23-year-old Leckie plays for
FC Ingolstadt 04 in the German second division. He’s on your friendly bookie’s
radar now. We also got to see Timmy Cahill show us the “Kaiserslautern KO” on
the corner flag…for likely the last time. What an amazing first-time goal that
was! It still sits on place three for me in terms of the tournament’s best
goals. The Sturridge-Rooney Combo occupies first place with the Robben
Swan-Dive coming in second.
Volker Finke’s Indomitable Lions confirmed my recent
prediction that they would turn out to be the worst team in the tournament.
From WM 2014—Round Two:
Cameroon
vs. Croatia
Volker Finke’s “Indomitable Lions” just plain suck. They
may be the worst team in the tournament. They’re not just bad…they’re Brad
Paisely—LL Cool J bad; one of the worst Black-White partnerships ever!
One
has to feel bad for the proud football enthusiasts of Cameroon. Twelve years
ago they were celebrating back-to-back African Continental Championships. In
2003 they were Confederations Cup runners up. Now Eto’o is just finished. No, I
don’t care that he rattled a shot of the post. His timing is awful. As much as
I adore Alex Song and Chupo Moting, they showed me nothing against the
Mexicans. Assou-Ekotto has all of the heart and none of the help.
God do they suck! Mandzukic and Ollic raped Chedjou and
Nounkeu hard. And..what the hell was that from Alex Song? He never struck me as
THAT kind of player. Dirty and un-called for. Les Indomitables now have to face
the very hungry hosts in their final group stage match. Ugh. They’re virtually
assured to finish in dead last.
“Riffs
of the Day”—Day Seven
Reader:
Okay. I changed my mind. I’ll take that pity now
Vicey:
Take a hug as well. You’ll be back in two years as strong as ever. La Roja
won’t return to mediocrity indefinitely. Mark my words.
DAY
EIGHT--PREVIEW
All lines are holding for the first time since Day Two.
Still time to get into the action.
Cote d’Ivoire vs. Columbia
vs. 
Cheer up, Africa fans. You’ve still got yourselves a big dog
in this fight. A win here won’t come easy, but it should come
THE
LINE: Cote d’Ivoire +1 Goal (holding)
England vs. Uruguay
vs. 
Feeling great about the Three Lions chances here. It looks
to be another memorable night for Sterling and Sturridge. La Celeste will
likely have to keep Suarez on the bench. They still have Cavani, but Forlan
just doesn’t have the legs to supply him with useful balls anymore. Lugano and
Godin appear less than fit. The Maxi Peirea suspension doesn’t bode well either
THE
LINE: England +1 Goal (holding)
Japan vs. Greece
vs. 
And we’ve got ourselves a nice nightcap as well. To Piratiko
can throw their defensive strategy out the window. Can they play with enough
pace?
THE
LINE: Greece +1 Goal (holding)
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
