Servus Syndicate Members,
Completing your quick “one-two punch”, here are your Round
Two Lines. Many will roll, so get your wagers in early.
TUESDAY—
Belgium
vs. Algeria
vs. 
Everyone’s favorite little “shining star” country debuts.
Lukaku & Co. could hardly hope to debut against weaker opposition. The
Desert Foxes have undergone a complete overhaul (see preview section if
necessary). It’s unclear whether this reconstituted eleven can get coordinated
in time.
On the topic of the Preview Section, this bookie happens to
believe that Halihodzic’s adjustments were especially clever. Thus, a lower
line seems reasonable. It’s more than a plausible possibility that the
over-hyped “Red Devils of Antwerp” won’t come bursting out of the gate as
strongly as some would augur.
THE
LINE: Belgium +1 Goal
Have we been here before?
Negatory. This hasn’t come to pass.
Brazil
vs. Mexico
vs. 
Where in the hell was Fred last Thursday night? I
mean….besides flopping on his ass in a blatant dive that gave the match to the
jittery hosts. We’ll just have to assume that David Luiz, Daniel Alves, Thiago
Silva, Marcelo, and Julio Ceasar overcame their “Opening Night Nerves”. Christ,
the entire Brazilian back five looked like they had all been infected by an
incurable case of the “heebie-jeebies”.
Understand that the Brazilians are on “Mission Impossible”.
They carry the considerable weight of 200 Million citizens on their shoulders.
Many of said citizens are on the cusp of emerging from poverty, thanks to
innovative Family Planning and Social Welfare Policies.
Syndicate members are well aware of my long-standing and
undying respect for initiatives such as “Bolsa Familia”. What may surprise you
is that I’m genuinely worried about my “Samba Kings” following their temperate
initial performance.
They face a tough task ahead. El Tri should have had (at
least) two more goals in their opening match. Peralta, dos Santos, Herrera, and
even Marquez looked solid. Chicharito as a “Super Sub”? Why not?
Terrible opening match for Fred, Hulk, and Luiz Gustavo.
This is what I was worried about. ; ( One must nevertheless believe that Neymar
will find a way. If not him, maybe Oscar. No one fails the “Big Dog” when it
counts.
C’mon Selecao.
THE
LINE: Brazil +2 Goals
Have we been here before?
Unbelievable!! The answer is no. We’ve all missed out!!
Russia
vs. South Korea
vs. 
Difficult to see a result coming out of this one. It’s 4-3-3
against 4-2-2-2. As tempted as I find myself to pick a draw, I somehow have the
feeling that Heung Min Son has something special in store for us. I see him
puncturing Ingashevich’s stronghold, ISIS-style.
If not him, than Chu-Young Park or Ki-Seung Young. Capello’s
squad fails the “Trappatoni Tenet”. Call it a hunch.
THE
LINE: South Korea +1 Goal
Have we been here before?
Dick Advocaat (Schwanz Befürworter) has been here before,
but we haven’t. Football doesn’t cooperate with close borders. It just doesn’t.
Sorry.
WEDNESDAY—
Australia
vs. the Netherlands
vs. 
Don’t be getting cocky on me, “Oranje Enthusiasts”. Remember
Euro 2008? You spanked the Dagos 3-0, bitchslapped the French 4-1, then
dispatched the Romanians 2-0. And what happened when you got out of the group
you so effortlessly and efficiently topped. You got embarrassed by the Ruskies
in added time.
All hail Louis van Gaal? You mean the guy who ruined your
2002 Qualifying Campaign? Older and wiser he may be, but anyone who has failed
spectacularly once has an Achilles Heel.
That being said, it’s highly unlikely that the Socceroos
will find it. Van Gaal’s selection rose to the occasion. Many questioned his
choice of van Marwijk’s “also-ran” Ron Vlaar. The Aston Villa centerback
justified his selection with a calm and disciplined defensive performance that
would have earned him “man of the match” honors were it not for all the goals.
Bruno Martens Indi turned in a good one as well. It was a dream match for
youngster Stefan de Vrij as well. How in the hell did an obvious 5-3-2 manage
to produce so many goals?
Tremendous work from De Guzman and De Jong. Jamaat and Blind
owned the flanks. There will come a time when this Dutch side has little choice
but to come crashing back down to earth. That time isn’t now.
The only threat van Gaal faces is his own myopia. He should
seriously consider pulling van Persie early, perhaps replacing him with either
Lens or Wijnaldum. A start for either Kuyt or Jan Huntelaar? That’s overdoing
it a bit. Still, he’d do well to get them in early. To risk an injury to either
van Persie or Robben at this point would just be silly.
The Dutch go through. They may very well be the first team
to clinch.
THE
LINE: The Netherlands +3 Goals
Have we been here before?
Nope….nor shall we ever again. Farewell Socceros.
Spain
vs. Chile
vs. 
The road back begins with this pressing keeper question.
Something tells me del Bosque isn’t quite the type to embarrass his captain
with a potentially destabilizing benching. “The Walrus” doesn’t roll that way.
Pepe doesn’t star Merseyside anymore anyway and to make such a public show of
panicking would only serve to send a signal to the players that the ship is
sinking.
Maintain calm. Adjustments need to be made, but they can be
done quietly. Pique and Ramos appear completely out of sync at the back. Their
failure to hold the defensive line directly led to van Persie’s equalizer. To
replace one of them seems unthinkable, but Juanfran deserves a shot. The
Athletico defender is more effective on the wing, so it might be prudent to
move Azpilicueta in or simply start Raul Albiol in a reformatted 3-5-2.
Bad news in the defense quickly turns into terrible news for
del Bosque. He took only six defenders to make way for his 10 midfielders and 4
strikers. A reworking of the formation appears the only real solution at this
stage. It’s not as if “La Roja” can afford to sit back and defend in this match
anyway. They need to make a statement early. Go for the 3-5-2, Vincente!
Replacing either David Luiz or Sergio Busquets with Fabregas
shouldn’t be too scandalous. Taking off one of the Xavis for Javi Martinez also
won’t cause a ruckus. Santi Carzola deserves some serious consideration if he’s
fit.
It’s anyone’s guess who he might choose up front. In Euro
2012 he began with Fabregas as his primary center forward, then settled on
Torres for a little while. Before allowing Fernando to get comfortable he then
switched to Silva, gave Negredo a shot, and then switched back to Fabregas for
the final. Del Bosque loves to mix it up with his deep kader. He’s a great
trainer for tournament football, acutely aware that his player’s fitness levels
must be closely monitored.
It will be a game-time decision. Factors such as chemistry
and projected opposing defenses come into play too, of course. All we know for
sure is that Diego Costa is done…for now. He’s got to go sit in the corner and think
about what he’s done. Come back when you’re ready to turn on the jets.
The Chileans were everyone’s favorite Cinderella candidate
even before they enchanted us all with their three-goal performance against the
Aussies. I wasn’t convinced when typing up the Group B Preview, and I stand by
my initial assessment. If Old Man Cahill can find a way to split Jara and
Medel, surely one of the Super Country’s four top class strikers can. Don’t be
surprised if Villa gets the start.
If there are any out there in Roja-Land who doubt that their
nation will bounce back, I offer a reprint of my pep talk from the “Morning
After Recap”:
From WM 2014—Day Two Recap
Okay.
Let’s settle down a bit and analyze matters. It’s not quite as dour as everyone
thinks. I’ll begin by emphasizing that “El Tiki-Taka” is not dead. The Spanish
short-passing game remains alive and well, as evidenced by a strong first half
during which del Bosque’s men were highly competitive and could have easily
gone up 3-0. I aver that the system still works provided a few ghastly
defensive errors don’t fling open the floodgates. We shouldn’t forget that this
was a tight contest all the way up to the 65th minute.
Further
discussion of “El Tiki-Taka” shall be deferred to the riff section. Your friendly
bookie tires of this conversation. Ever since Pep Guardiola’s Bayern crashed
out of the Champions League, it’s all the European Football Media wishes to
talk about. One should treat such shallow pontifications in the same manner one
deals with the American 24-Hour-News Media’s speculations on the 2016
Presidential Race. Turn the damn television off! As soon as one hears, “Is it
really over for the zonal passing game….”, turn the damn television off!!
Likewise, should one hear “How does Hillary’s new haircut affect her chances…”,
throw the damn television out of the window!!
Spanish
dominance in early possession could have led to a very different outcome had
Iniesta done better with his chances in the 10th. Iniesta also set
up Costa beautifully in the 13th and David Silva marvelously in the
43rd. In the former instance, Costa just took a bad first touch.
Dutch keeper Jasper Cillessen deserves all the credit for keeping out Silva’s
effort in the 43rd. Bottom Line: The strategy still works. Iniesta
and the two Xavis can still generate good movement and triangulation. They need
better finishing from their strikers, but that’s not really a problem
considering how deep this bench is.
Del
Bosque illustrates this with his substitutions. He swapped out Costa and Xavi
Alonso for Torres and Pedro in the 62nd. Torres has gotten into the
swing of things over at The Bridge. Even if he hadn’t revitalized his career
over at Chelsea, he’s still the national side’s good luck charm; a great
late-game “Number 9” option. So is Barça’s Pedro. I’m convinced that Villa
isn’t done yet either, even if he’s headed to semi-retirement in MLS.
Del
Bosque’s double substitution was a great move. Unluckily for him, Stefan De
Vrij scored Holland’s third goal three minutes later and the whole tactical
switch was essentially rendered moot. Torres got some good looks. So did 78th
minute sub Fabregas. Del Bosque has the new Chelsea-signing at his disposal
coming off the bench. He also has Santi Carzola, Juan Mata, and Javi Martinez.
This squad is too deep and too talented to simply fade away without a fight.
Relax, Spanish fans. You’ll be back!
The Blogosphere literally brims with amateur bookies picking
Chile for the upset (Yes…there are plenty of guys and gals other than me
keeping an online book). I’m sticking with my Spaniards. Back in the saddle.
Back in gear.
THE
LINE: Spain +1 Goal
Have we been here before?
Yeah…and it was damn cool. :) Let’s take a journey back to
2010. It won’t go down in the annals of history as the most attack-oriented
competition. It ranks near the bottom of all the tournaments in terms of goals
scored. We nevertheless got three in this one and it was a real treat.
From WM 2010: Round Four (Part IV)
Chile vs. Spain
vs.
Two of
my hot reds, hot picks, hot tamales. I will not get too verbose on you. Though
we have seen far too many upsets and surprises in this tournament, La Roja will
take care of business and get through. This team is not the culprit of a
haughty game plan. Some awful luck is to blame for their early troubles. They
are merely warming up and will be ready. That being said, if anyone still
wishes to bet on Spain retaining their title of champion is welcome to bet. I
maintain that German guilt gave them that Euro 2008! This team will choke
eventually. Not now, though.
THE
LINE: Spain + 1 Goal
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT:
Spain 2, Chile 1. Del Bosque debuted yet ANOTHER formation, this time putting
Torres atop a 4-1-2-2-1. (Yes I know that was painful to read). Busquets was
back, this time as defensive midfielder, with the two Xavis backing up Villa
and Iniesta on the wing. While I am by no means qualified to assess this man’s
tactical genius, rarely has his unorthodox approach failed to work. The opening
goal came courtesy of a Torres run forward. For some odd reason, Chilean keeper
and Captain Claudio Bravo thought it might be wise to run forwards and meet him
some 45 yards out. Though he was able to effectively neutralize Torres, the
trailing David Villa picked up the loose ball and floated into a completely
empty net.
Chile
played one of the dirtier games I’ve ever seen. Center Forward Alexis Sanchez
pulled Torres to ground in the most cynical of challenges. Fullback Waldo Ponce
stabbed Iniesta with his cleats in flagrant frustration. Gary Medel gave Xavi
Alonso a cheap shot worthy of a wrestling ring. Finally, in the 37th,
Marco Estrada was made to pay for this shockingly squalid run of play with
double yellows for tripping both Villa and Fernando Torres. Torres had been
clipped as Villa fed Iniesta for the second goal. Two minutes after the
restart, one half of Chilean coach Marcelo Bielsa’s halftime adjustments
grabbed a fluke goal off a deflection from Gerard Pique. Rodrigo Millar
celebrated as if he had scored the goal himself. Just as well. Mercifully, the
slovenly play of the Chileans subsided. Del Bosque brought in Cesc Fabregas and
Javi Martinez, who ate up the clock with a passing display.
Cameroon
vs. Croatia
vs. 
Volker Finke’s “Indomitable Lions” just plain suck. They may
be the worst team in the tournament. They’re not just bad…they’re Brad
Paisely—LL Cool J bad; one of the worst Black-White partnerships ever!
One has to feel bad for the proud football enthusiasts of
Cameroon. Twelve years ago they were celebrating back-to-back African
Continental Championships. In 2003 they were Confederations Cup runners up. Now
Eto’o is just finished. No, I don’t care that he rattled a shot of the post.
His timing is awful. As much as I adore Alex Song and Chupo Moting, they showed
me nothing against the Mexicans. Assou-Ekotto has all of the heart and none of
the help.
The Blazers get Mandzukic back, and ride the momentum of
above-average performances from Rakitic, Modric, Ollic, and Perisic. This one
won’t be pretty. If “Les Indomptables” ever hope to get out of a World Cup
Group for the first time since 1990…….STOP HIRING GERMAN COACHES!! Go the
“Keshi Way”
THE
LINE: Croatia +2 Goals
Have we been here before?
These two always appear to just miss one another. Hard luck
for all of us as they’ve both got great footballing traditions.
THURSDAY—
Columbia
vs. Cote d’Ivoire
vs. 
“Les Elephants” are up and running. That 2-1 victory over
the Blue Samurai continues to taste sweeter than a piece of wet and warm….I’ll
give you a hint: five letters, starts with “p” and ends with “y”. Who the hell
dares bet against Sabri Lamouchi’s renegades after that scintillating jewel of
a match? Drogba is introduced, and then they fire in two ravishing goals in
rapid succession? I’m not betting against THIS picture. Drogba looks even more
Christ-like than Pirlo. He’s the REAL football Jesus….even the right complexion
; ) ; )
Even if Drogba’s usefulness as a good luck charm has been
exhausted, Yaya Toure still has a lot to show us. As I opined in the preview
section, he deserved serious consideration over Suarez as the Premiership
Player of the Year.
I say they top the high-flying “Cocaine
Snorters”….er…“Coffee Growers”. Where’s my button?
UPSET
ALERT!!
The
LINE: Cote d’Ivoire +1 Goal
Have we been here before?
Expect a classic. They’ve not met on this level. All 22
participants will make it up as they go along.
Uruguay
vs. England
vs. 
Get in on this action early if you want. THIS LINE WILL
ROLL. I liked what I saw from my Three Lions and from Hodgson. Ballsy move
giving Sterling the start. It paid dividends. He was by far the best player on
the pitch. Even ballsier subbing in tyros Ross Barkley, Jack Wilshere, and Adam
Lallana with the game on the line. They all got off good efforts. Hodgson has
himself a formula. I can just feel it.
Conversely, Oscar Tabarez is too hesitant on the trigger.
Why not sub in Suarez when confronted with an hour-mark deficit? Lodeiro and
Gonzalez were understandable, but Abel Hernandez in the 76th? Suarez’s
prospects, accepted wagers, and any fresh news coming out of the England camp
will cause this line to tip. Consider yourself warned. I’ll repeat it doubly
(IN CAPS) for all those skimmers out there:
THIS LINE WILL ROLL!
THIS LINE WILL ROLL!
GET YOUR WAGERS IN EARLY!
THE
LINE: England +1
Have we been here before?
It feels like we have…but you’re thinking of England vs.
Paraguay back in 2006. Or I’m thinking about that. Whatever.
Japan
vs. Greece
vs. 
To Piratiko has taken quite the press beating since that
Columbian thrashing. Solid performances from Kone, Gekas, Salpingidis,
Karagounis, Fetfatzidis, and even “Problem Child” Mitroglou have been, for all
intents and purposes, swept under the rug. Even a better-than-expected display
from Celtic Oldboy Giorgios Samaras has earned him nothing but berating.
The Blue Samurai, by contrast, exceeded expectations by
holding their own against heavily favored Cote d’Ivoire. That doesn’t excuse woeful defensive
errors from Moshida and Morishige. Zaccheroni may well turn to Konno, Sakai, or
even Inoha. He has options.
Placing myself in his shoes, I’m tempted to make this a
pick. No can do. Santos will find a way to eke out a victory in a low-scoring
match.
THE
LINE: Greece +1 Goal
Have we been here before?
Once again…it feels like we have…but you’re thinking of
South Korea vs. Greece back in 2010. Or I’m thinking about that. Whatever.
FRIDAY—
Italy
vs. Costa Rica
vs. 
Oh how proud we all are of “Los Ticos”. “PURA VIDA”!!
They’re rapidly supplanting Chile as everyone’s favored Cinderella. Junior Diaz
and Joel Campbell will be household names before we’re through….or are we
through right about now.
I’ll be generous, Wops. A team of your caliber should be perfectly
capable of winning by more than two goals against a CONCACAF Country, even if
they did have a strong qualifying campaign.
Do you really believe in Balotelli? Show me the money.
THE
LINE: Italy +2 Goals
Have we been here before?
Oh no….I’m counting on you, Ticos!
Switzerland
vs. France
vs. 
Now you will obey, alpine assholes. Les Bleaus had the
opportunity to warm up against inferior competition. Griezman may not be quite
ready for Prime Time yet. Valbuena may not quite be ready to connect with Pogba,
Cabaye, or Debuchy on the crosses yet. It doesn’t matter. Bad implementation of
Goal-Line Technology is immaterial.
Ze French are slowly building up to their historic campaign.
Hitzfeld’s heroes won’t be so lucky this time. No exhausted defensive lines for
you to exploit….and Drmic didn’t look so hot either : )
THE
LINE: France +1 Goal
Have we been here before?
Yes, yes. It all began back in the Sultry Summer of 2004.
You’re friendly bookie desperately needed something to occupy his forlorn mind.
Thankfully there was this awesome tournament. It broke the fever of “Depress
Fest 2004”. Did it ever.
From EM 2004: Round Three:
France vs. Switzerland
vs.
Heed my advice: Watch the England game. This one’s a
ho-hum forgone conclusion. The positively fan-tabulous news concerns the fact
that within a scant 48 hours I can forget about writing something about the
“Schweize-Scheiße” for an entire two years! The Swiss are missing their two
best German players: Bernt Haas and Alexander Frei. This likely means a debut
for the Gaulish Daniel Gygax and the wopish Tranquilo Barnetta. Practically
ensured of advancement, Jacques Santini might feel the urge to conduct an
experiment or two himself, maybe giving Pedretti a look or Lizarazu a
sentimental swan song. Yes, Santini is back. He, his own self-defeating
personality, and the FFF have worked out their problems for the time being.
Sounds like a great afternoon to be a Frog. In the literal sense, if forced to
choose an animal to transfer my soul to, frog would do just fine. Capriciously
hop around a bit. Do some pompous croaking. Cling to a tree for a while. Do
some more vain croaking. Fertilize a few eggs. Croak a self-centered symphony.
Nice life. As Viceis would say, “very nice ultra extra special fine life…just for
you.” Again, if the phone rings…I’m not here. Kick ass, Froggies.
THE LINE: France +2 goals
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT:
France 3, Switzerland 1. A nature monologue is never a good sign. It means
you’re running out of ideas. On this sun-drenched day in Coimbra, the French
had no shortage of ideas. As previously intimated, I had precious little time
to check in on this match. The box score, however, spins an excellent yarn. The
ever-eccentric Köbi chose an even younger surrogate than Barnetta. He wrote in
the Columbian-Schweitzer with the German name: Johan Vonlanthen. His faith in
PSV’s new signing was validated when he equalized Zidane’s header and beat
Barthez to break Rooney’s record of five days to become the youngest score in
Euro history. We’ve heard nothing from him since, oft injured when country
calls. The Swiss fought a war of attrition for the rest of the match before
Henry seized a brace in quick succession. That part I can testify to. 76th
and 84th. Zidane and Viera placed him space and he finished with
class.
The pair met yet again in the Summer of 2006. Though it
wasn’t one of the more memorable matches, the commentary still holds up quite
well if I do say so. ; ) ; )
From WM 2006—Round One:
France vs. Switzerland
vs.
Ugly teams, ugly town, and a faint sense of depletion.
For those who have never had the misfortune to visit Stuttgart, it’s about as
exciting as say…..Akron with a Daimler Museum. In my humble opinion, festive
matches shouldn’t be held in company towns. Thankfully the council in Lautern
went 10 million Euros in debt to renovate Fritz Walter and edge out VW’s
Wolfsburg.
The French starting eleven will make history as the
oldest team ever to contest a World Cup match. Five players (six including
keeper Barthez) are over the age of 32. I’ve no choice but to offer even odds
on one of them breaking a hip. Beyond injuries, there remains little reason to
give the “Lawrence Welks” an audience. A minor factor with the potential to
arouse some curiosity will be Domenech’s adjustments. The sooner he inserts the
next generation of FFF-Heroes into the equation, the better this team’s
long-term prospects will be. A late Govou effort propels les Bleus past the
mountain men.
THE
LINE: France +1 Goal
Editor’s
retroactive notes:
RESULT:
France 0, Switzerland 0. Reading through all these texts for the first time in
years, the sincerest heart pangs always occur upon identifying when poor little
Vicey runs out of gas. Typical of the pitifully stubborn bastard. With the end
in sight, fatigued and blocked, he refused to walk away for more than a few
minutes. The above write-up could have turned out significantly better had he
just dropped the project for an hour or two and refreshed by doing something
else….anything else. O.G. Pete simply didn’t roll that way. You couldn’t
physically pry him from the keys, no matter how depleted he was. That was the literal reality. A highly
embarrassing and infinitely pathetic truth must be told. There were indeed
those that clasped his shoulder with sturdy hands, attempting to lead him away
from the screen in the same manner one might try to rip an A.M. drunk off a
barstool.
Amalgam
Character: “That’s enough writing for today, Peter. Let’s get some fresh
air”
Vicey:
“I’ll let you know when I’ve had enough! Can’t stop. Have to keep going. I
can’t see the end, but I can FEEL it out there…somewhere…in the ether. Get your
damn hands off me!”
Poor
misguided soul. I’ll give him a retroactive tip of the cap for the Lawrence
Welk reference, as this fixture was about as thrilling as a Saturday evening
spent watching TV with your grandparents. The rough linear process for accruing
retroactive note content begins with whether or not something noteworthy exists
in the original text. Following that, I comb through the old notes in my black
book to reanimate long dormant memories from the game. The book doesn’t always
get the neurons firing, but old box scores/match reports/highlights sometimes
can. For the first time in over one hundred matches, all techniques have failed.
I don’t remember a goddamn thing about this one except that it was
excruciatingly lame. Perhaps I should take a break…..nah. Soldier on, O.G.
From WM 2006
Honduras
vs. Ecuador
vs. 
Time to redeem yourselves, “La Tri”. Enner Valencia looks to
be as capable as ever as a left-centered striker. Ayovi could have done better,
as could have Paredes and Cacedo. In any event, you should have little trouble
skipping past a “Blue H Side” missing Wilson
Palacios. The Road to redemption is paved with this line.
THE
LINE: Ecuador +3 Goals
Have we been here before?
Nope. I was all set to berate myself for not covering
previous meetings of these “continental rivals”…then I remembered that Ecuador
is in South America (COMNEBOL) and Honduras is in Central America (CONCACAF).
Even your friendly bookie needs to bang his head against the wall sometimes.
GENTLEMEN,
ENTER YOUR WAGERS
