Day 5
Record—
Spread: 5-9
Straight up: 6-1-7
Damn you Kiwis! The Slovaks dominated that game. Way to
blow, it Weiss. Vladmir Weiss Jr. played a ferocious game. Vladamir Weiss Sr.
let the lead slip through his fingers just like Tadic let Kosovo go. Nine thousand
miles away, Peter Weis lost this weekend’s drinking money. L
Signs of the spectacular from the Portuguese, but signs don’t make money the
way goals do. Gritty performance by the North Koreans, whom we can all breathe
a sigh of relief will NOT be executed upon their return home. Records could
stand to be better, but no sympathy necessary for this sharp. Still in the
black.
Hot Girl Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games
Played
|
Brazil
|
8
|
1
|
South Korea
|
8
|
1
|
Netherlands
|
7
|
1
|
Ghana
|
6
|
1
|
USA
|
5
|
1
|
Japan
|
5
|
1
|
Cameroon
|
5
|
1
|
Italy
|
5
|
1
|
Argentina
|
4
|
1
|
Serbia
|
4
|
1
|
Slovenia
|
3
|
1
|
Denmark
|
3
|
1
|
Paraguay
|
2
|
1
|
Nigeria
|
2
|
1
|
South Africa
|
2
|
1
|
Algeria
|
2
|
1
|
Greece
|
2
|
1
|
New Zealand
|
2
|
1
|
Portugal
|
2
|
1
|
North Korea
|
2
|
1
|
Cote d’Ivoire
|
2
|
1
|
Slovakia
|
1
|
1
|
England
|
1
|
1
|
Uruguay
|
1
|
1
|
Mexico
|
1
|
1
|
Germany
|
1
|
1
|
France
|
0
|
1
|
Australia
|
0
|
1
|
You had to know that Brazil would bring it, even in the
freezing cold and sleet. What else would you expect from the country that
invented this dance craze?
In the States, one has to pay a stripper way too many crisp
bills for that move!
Kudos to the North Koreans for selecting the most pristine
beautiful girl next door (likely through a six-month-long rigorous process) to
represent their country along with 15 other heavily guarded specially selected
fans! One problem: I can’t tell if the girl you selected is 14 or 32! No minors
are allowed in our hot girl contests! I must disqualify her on the basis of
“ambiguous age”. You people really are sick.
Stream
of Consciousness---
Few beautiful girls on offer for the Portugal vs. Cote
d’Ivoire match, owing to a fairly decent game on the field. One of the more engaging
0-0 draws I’ve ever witnessed. Accolades are in order for the courage of
Drogba. One week removed from a broken elbow and he still hits the pitch! At
that point, I believe my mother was howling about the worst pain she had ever
experienced and thumbing through her rosary beads. I’m thankful that I no
longer have to see ESPN put up the graphic of the shirtless Christiano Ronaldo
and Didier Drogba from last month’s Vanity Fair Cover. I do appreciate chiseled
abs (and have some myself) but Alexi Lalas espousing a preference for Drogba
crossed the line into homoerotic awkwardness. In case you missed it, Alexi
prefers Drogba’s “more natural abdominal cut”. Well, listen to her! (two
snaps and a thumbs down)
So many
subtle pokes to hit the North Koreans with, I’m not sure where to start. The
“DMZ Defense” breaking down or the poor fitness level necessitating an extra
rice ration? The obligatory need to not only sing along with the national
anthem, but cry as well? The completely spurious rumor that Kim Jon Il is
communicating with head coach Kim-Jung-Hun through an antenna in his tie?
Please! This country can’t even send a satellite into orbit! I suppose I’ll
just congratulate Ji-Yung Nam on his goal and hope that dear leader will at
least let his people watch the game tomorrow. The game in its entirety!!!!
Starving your people and devaluing their savings is one thing, but do you have
to take away their football as well? Renal failure is coming, dear leader. Can
you feel the darkness closing in? Hope your death is slow and agonizing.
