Day 13
Record—
Spread: 15-25
Straight up: 21-8-11
USA! USA! USA! I’ve been portending that today would be a
famous day for U.S. football; a historic match that will always be replayed and
recalled every time a competitive and respected U.S. Squad takes the pitch.
Today was also the day I became a U.S. Football fan. ESPN showed footage of
U.S. Football fans belting out unique drinking songs from Seattle to New York.
As hackneyed as it sounds, why did it take the media so long to find the true
fans? Of course they exist in great numbers, yet one might have been tempted to
believe this is a country of casually interested loudmouths who simply never
miss an opportunity to say “America! Fuck Yeah!”. Though they may be a rare
niche breed, the well-informed and savvy U.S. Football fan is more common that
the tele might lead one to believe. Congratulations to all of you. Your
hard-earned and well-deserved day has finally come.
The team showed its resilience, shrugging off yet more
officiating controversy to pull out a thriller that frayed enough nerves to
nearly blow up my phone. Thanks to all Stateside fans that sent me an SMS
today. Crying is okay is football,
so long as they’re tears of joy. My heart and soul belong to the Mannschaft,
but I was on pins and needles with the rest of you. I shit out enough bricks to
build a modest Fire Department. Whew! Thank the football gods that justice
finally prevailed.
With all of the missed chances, the U.S. should have won
4-0. Ditto with England. Both teams are finally up and running. What a shame we
cannot see them play one another now. The tentative German performance produced
all of the telltale signs of a very nervy afternoon. There was frantic pacing,
the patented three-cigarette chain, and some rather cruel yelling at cats for
no justifiable reason. What a day! In case anyone is wondering, I maintain a
full time job and part time course load as well. Small miracle that I haven’t
been locked up in a room with padded walls yet.
This Cup has made a point of showcasing every team’s
alternate kits. Today we saw the Germans decked out in all black, a travesty
that should not be repeated. For ten years or so now, the Germans have either
had a red or black alternate kit. The white uniform being so common, one
ordinarily doesn’t have to contend with this uncomfortable eyesore. Germans in
black makes the team look like some sort of evil army of darkness. I could have
sworn that the Nazis were playing against the allies in “Victory” this
afternoon….or even that Indiana Jones would open the Ark of the Covenant,
melting off Bastian Schweinsteiger’s face while Per Mertesacker was burnt to a
crisp. If the Germans really must be forced to suit up in alternate kits,
historical precedent gives us far better options. The Irish were the only
country that invited the postwar German team for regular friendlies and for
years the Germans wore green to honor them. This tradition was discontinued
after a few shady IRA links were exposed, but I think the time has come to
revive it. Wanna see how sharp a German-Irish jersey looks? Here you are:
By the way, that would be most of your Christmas presents,
so start practicing your pub pick-up-lines now
Hot Girl Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games Played
|
South Korea
|
34
|
3
|
United States
|
34
|
3
|
South Africa
|
27
|
3
|
Italy
|
24
|
2
|
Argentina
|
24
|
3
|
Australia
|
24
|
3
|
Greece
|
22
|
3
|
Spain
|
21
|
2
|
Brazil
|
20
|
2
|
Denmark
|
16
|
2
|
Mexico
|
15
|
3
|
Ghana
|
15
|
3
|
Portugal
|
14
|
2
|
Chile
|
12
|
2
|
Nigeria
|
12
|
3
|
England
|
12
|
3
|
Serbia
|
11
|
3
|
New Zealand
|
11
|
2
|
Japan
|
10
|
2
|
Germany
|
10
|
3
|
Cameroon
|
9
|
2
|
Netherlands
|
8
|
2
|
Algeria
|
7
|
3
|
Paraguay
|
7
|
2
|
Switzerland
|
7
|
2
|
Honduras
|
7
|
2
|
Slovenia
|
7
|
3
|
Uruguay
|
6
|
3
|
Cote d’Ivoire
|
6
|
2
|
Slovakia
|
6
|
2
|
North Korea
|
4
|
2
|
France
|
4
|
3
|
Our top two are headed to the knockout phase. Even should
their bracket days be short-lived, they maintain an advantage over teams
favored to go deeper. This should be a great finish!
