Day 6
Record—
Spread: 7-10
Straight up: 8-2-7
Forty-Eight years later, Chile came out with guns blazing.
This is an exciting team that should give us a decent Round of 16 Match.
Despite a stunning display of fancy footwork, creatively choreographed crosses,
and breathtaking strikes, the Spanish somehow lost to a bunch worthless
mountain hicks. Damn you Swiss! All you do is take German money and today you
took a large chunk of mine! What gives you the right to claim an EU scalp?!
To the racist, bigoted, sheep-shaggers of Switzerland:
I hate your bizarre little microstate and I hate your team.
Clinking your little hillbilly cowbells, butchering the German language,
approving xenophobic policies with nearly every referendum, and providing safe
haven for every other German official’s taxable earnings. Grrrrr…I’ll get my
money back…and some valuable Data CDs as well.
Happy Youth Day Everyone! I actually think ESPN did a
fantastic job of reminding everyone of the disgraceful institution of
apartheid, and how recent this sad chapter in human history finally ended.
Tough one to take, Bafana Bafana. Sorry to see you filing toward the exit. Take
solace in the fact that you still get to play the French and everyone,
including me, will be rooting for you. Blow those Vuvuzelas loud and proud to
irritate them more!!
Hot Girl Standings
Country
|
Tally
|
Games
Played
|
South Africa
|
11
|
2
|
Brazil
|
8
|
1
|
South Korea
|
8
|
1
|
Netherlands
|
7
|
1
|
Chile
|
6
|
1
|
Spain
|
6
|
1
|
Ghana
|
6
|
1
|
USA
|
5
|
1
|
Japan
|
5
|
1
|
Cameroon
|
5
|
1
|
Italy
|
5
|
1
|
Argentina
|
4
|
1
|
Serbia
|
4
|
1
|
Switzerland
|
4
|
1
|
Slovenia
|
3
|
1
|
Denmark
|
3
|
1
|
Paraguay
|
2
|
1
|
Nigeria
|
2
|
1
|
Greece
|
2
|
1
|
Algeria
|
2
|
1
|
New Zealand
|
2
|
1
|
Portugal
|
2
|
1
|
North Korea
|
2
|
1
|
Cote d’Ivoire
|
2
|
1
|
Uruguay
|
2
|
2
|
Slovakia
|
1
|
1
|
England
|
1
|
1
|
Mexico
|
1
|
1
|
Germany
|
1
|
1
|
Honduras
|
1
|
1
|
France
|
0
|
1
|
Australia
|
0
|
1
|
All 32 teams have played and we are officially “Pimpin all
over the world” (Been waiting to say that.) Spain and Chile are, as expected,
off and running. The Swiss turn in a surprise performance as the shocking win
compelled cameramen to focus closely in on their fans. This also enables the
Swiss to be the unequivocal leaders of the “Fat Chicks Competition”. Desperate
High-School males take note! Mountain folk certainly like their cheese.
A nice consolation gift to the South Africans. Don’t leave
your team hangin against the French!
The Official End of Round 1—
Based on
watching all of the games (on tape delay if I had to) here are my grades for
all 32 teams. Grades are assigned based not merely on results, but team form as
well.
Slovenia
|
A+
|
Germany
|
A+
|
Paraguay
|
A
|
Japan
|
A
|
Chile
|
A
|
South Korea
|
A-
|
Switzerland
|
A-
|
Denmark
|
A-
|
Brazil
|
B+
|
Argentina
|
B+
|
Spain
|
B
|
Portugal
|
B
|
Slovakia
|
B
|
North Korea
|
B
|
Ghana
|
B-
|
USA
|
B-
|
Netherlands
|
B-
|
New Zealand
|
B-
|
Cameroon
|
B-
|
Cote d’Ivoire
|
B-
|
Uruguay
|
B-
|
Nigeria
|
C+
|
Italy
|
C
|
Serbia
|
C
|
Mexico
|
C
|
Algeria
|
C
|
England
|
C
|
South Africa
|
C
|
Honduras
|
D
|
Greece
|
D
|
France
|
F
|
Australia
|
F
|
